Taking garbage as a guest

[Anna10179]

Can you guys help me? I'm renting Airbnb for 3 months now. 

I'm paying CAD$1100 for one room in a condo, and a bathroom that my host uses from time to time. (But they also have their own)

The whole condo rent is 2400, which means I'm paying almost half to live in one room.

There is also a child screaming majority of the time.

Recently my host asked me to start taking the trash out. We have a joined trash.

I believe i shouldn't, since I already pay a high fee, work very hard, and compromise.

She also asked me to buy my own detergent.

What would you do? 

What should I say?

I don't want a conflict, and I want to stay at the same place further. But I just don't feel like I should throw other ppl's trash.

[Sarah977]

@Anna10179  It sounds like it's a bit of a roommate situation with your host. It sounds to me like she's just expecting you to be a good roommate.

Hosts should be clear with guests at the outset as to what is expected of them during their stay, but I don't see being asked to take the garbage out half the time to be an unreasonable request. I would assume that part of that garbage was created by you. And being expected to provide your own laundry detergent on a long term stay is pretty standard. When a guest just books a few nights, they can expect that basic essentials will be provided, but long term guests are not provided for in the same way unless maybe it's a very expensive luxury-type listing. 

You say you're busy, but how long does it really take to take the garbage out, 5 minutes? If she has a child, I'm sure she's busy, too.

If the bathroom was advertised as private for guests, then she shouldn't be using it if it bothers you. Maybe you guys need to sit down over coffee and air your grievances. It doesn't have to be a confrontation, but when people are sharing space, they both need to be up front about what's bothering them and work things out fairly.

[Sarah977]

@Anna10179  Also, you say you are paying a high fee. I don't know where you are and what prices are like in the area, but $1100 doesn't sound that high for a furnished place, if it  includes the utilities, and wifi.

And even short term guests who are charged a cleaning fee are expected to do things like take out the garbage before they leave. 

It seems to me that your host may have been feeling, for the past three months, that she is doing all the work around the place, and she finally had to say something because you never offered. Your host isn't your personal maid- in a long term home share situation, you should expect to do a fair share of the daily tasks.

[Anna10179]

Thanks for your help! No, but the thing is, the place costs $2400. And I'm paying almost half.

It has two rooms, two bathrooms, and a den.

So she uses both bathrooms and the den. And all the closets in kitchen, hall etc are not split half half, because it's her home. You know what I mean?

So we almost share the rent, but I get to live like I'm in another person's family still.

About the maid thing- I clean dishes right away, do my own bedding and towels laundry, never leave anything dirty. And I put up with a lot of noize. Some of that noize after 10, 11 pm. And even if she apologizes, I still wake up and am not able to sleep for a while after that.

That's why I'm feeling I'm compromising a lot. What do you think about that?

Do the long-term hosts normally take trash in majority of cases?

[Colleen253]

@Anna10179  I think you should separate out the noise issue and deal with that separately. As Sarah said, the host should have made clear at time of booking what her expectations were, but even if she didn't, you agreed to the rate you're paying, and taking out the garbage and providing your own detergent are small inconsequential things, not adding up to much at all, and not unusual to expect a guest to do. 

You say you want to stay at this place and basically don't want to rock the boat, so why make a fuss if you're not going to leave? Talk to her about the noise. Was the potential for noise disclosed at booking?

[Anna10179]

No, it was not disclosed. But it was indeed disclosed that they have a child. But who wants to wake up in the middle of the night? Do you consider that thoughtful? It is very loud noize of a child screaming sometimes. 

In terms of trash, I'm trying to figure out how it is in most of cases with other hosts. I've read some forums where hosts say they always take it out even in long term bookings, so I just wanted to know the realistic situation.

[Anna10179]

Also, out of the time I stayed here, I wasn't using kitchen and throwing trash in the bin at all for about a month, because I was working 7 days a week and ate out at work. 

And host is also asking me to use less electricity, but I'm barely using any. I switch lights only when it's extremely dark and go to sleep early. The lights are never on. 

for the first month of my booking, I took my trash daily also, because I formed my "own" trash bag separately. But my host never noticed that at all.

I just wanna know what is the polite way to talk about these things.

[Sarah977]

@Anna10179 Of course no one wants to be woken in the night. It sounds like you haven't been around kids much and didn't realize what to expect. Children cry, they sometimes throw tantrums. And maybe she doesn't have great parenting skills and is overwhelmed, not knowing how to handle these things with her child. I'm sure she doesn't like being woken in the night, either.

Don't dismiss the possibility that there are things about living with you that bother her, too, but she hasn't mentioned them. It's hard to share a home, even with a friend, let alone a stranger, especially for months on end. She probably isn't hosting because she relishes sharing her home, she likely needs the money.

If you really feel that you need to talk to her about things, maybe write it in a letter. It's easier to digest something written, and the other person can think about it for awhile, without instantly reacting, as when having a face to face talk. You can also look at what you've written, revise if necessary, instead of saying things that can't be taken back and regretting it afterwards. 

Just say that there are things that are bothering you, and probably things that are bothering her, that you acknowledge that it's not easy to share a home, but you feel you gals should talk about it, so resentments aren't festering. Point out that you feel you've been a good guest, cleaning up after yourself, respecting not to waste electricity, etc.

Then talk about what you feel needs sorting. Just be yourself, be honest, you sound like a polite, not rude person, so that shouldn't be too hard. Close by saying that if there are things about you that have been bugging her, and she's been too polite to mention, that you are open to hearing them, so the experience of sharing the home works well for both of you. 

But keep issues separate. Her child crying has nothing to do with the garbage, and what she pays for the apartment compared to what you pay would be inappropriate to talk about.

And it doesn't matter whether other hosts expect their guests to take out the garbage. Every listing and host is unique and there isn't one size fits all. Some hosts expect short term guests to strip the bed and start a load of wash, take out the garbage, sweep the floor, clean the oven, and some hosts expect nothing except that the guests don't leave a mess behind them . What was true for one Airbnb isn't true for others. It's very individual.

[Sarah977]

@Anna10179  Well, she is the host, it's her condo. She can charge what she likes, and no one forced you to book it, that was your choice. What she pays per month for the condo really isn't your business, anymore than your finances are her business.

I would imagine she is also paying the utilities, the house insurance, you are using her washing machine, her furniture, her dishes and pots and pans. If you had rented an unfurnished place in your own, you would have had a lot of expenses to furnish it.

It's not as if you were friends who decided to move in together and split everything equally.

It's great that you clean up after yourself in the kitchen and wash your own bedding and towels. But taking out the garbage, since you are creating a share of that garbage, too, doesn't seem unfair to me.

As far as her or her child being noisy and waking you up, I assume you knew when you rented that there was a young child in the home. So of course it isn't going to be as quiet as if you were living only with quiet adults. 

When you book a home share, you are taking on living with the host's lifestyle. If they have pets, you have to live with their pets. If they have children, you have to live with all that entails. If they have ugly decor, or live in clutter, you have to accept that. Otherwise you rent a private apartment. Not wanting to take out the garbage isn't a compromise for her child crying.

It doesn't sound as if she is uncaring- she apologizes when things get noisy and wake you up. If I were in your situation, I would put in earplugs when I went to bed. Even though I live in the quiet countryside, there is a building project going on near me me that starts early in the morning and is loud. So I put in my earplugs when I go to bed so I won't get woken early.

I don't know how much longer you planned to stay, but the bottom line, Anna, is that if you aren't happy there, you should look for another place to move to.

[Anonymous]

@Anna10179   If you don't want to create a conflict, and you want to continue your stay, you should honor the host's requests, which sound completely reasonable to me. 

If you're not willing to do this, the best thing for you to do is request a change to your booking and advance your checkout date. Under the terms of the cancellation policy, you can also cancel a long-term booking with 30 day's notice, but if you and the host have irreconcilable differences, it might be possible to negotiate an earlier departure.

I can't imagine a scenario in which you can say you don't want to take the garbage out or buy detergent, and still remain a desirable guest in your host's eyes.