The honeymooners, helicopter mom and the fire log

[Laura2592]

Another chapter in the annals of bad guests. This is one for which I need help with a review.

Some of you may remember the tale of the helicopter mom who wanted access to my space to "set up" for a honeymoon couple and control their comings and goings. The couple just stayed/left. They were pleasant enough but they did some damage and I am not sure how to notate that for other hosts.

Seems helicoptered kids don't know how to follow directions. We only allow firelogs like Duraflame burned indoors in our fireplace for safety reasons. Since we instituted this we have had a sharp decrease in calls to the cottage to literally start or put out fires. We replaced the flue last year in order to have a very standard and easy to understand open and close mechanism. We also provide detailed instructions with pictures on how to use it. Most guests get this and use our fireplace with ease. This honeymoon couple did not. Apparently they lit a firelog with the flue closed. When the house filled with smoke they took the log and threw it on the porch which is slate flagstone. The burning log left black debris all over the stones right in front of the door. It looks terrible. We did not have time to power wash before the next guest so we put a rug over it and will attempt to spend the day there next weekend t really scrub and clean it with chemicals.  If its permanently damaged I will cry (literally-- I love that porch) and buy an outdoor rug to cover it until we can replace the stones. 

To the guest's credit, the young woman wrote me and mentioned the incident and sent a picture. The picture was only part of the damage and didn't look that bad. I told her we would check it out, thanks for letting me know. She did offer to pay for extra cleaning which was decent of her. Helicopter mom also shot a note that the kids "didn't understand how to use a fireplace" and she thought we should have come over to show them. They did not ask us-- we would have. 

These people have zero reviews. I don't want to say anything nasty to a honeymoon couple, but they are clearly clueless and mom is a P I T A. How would you write this? Even if we can clean it up,  I would not recommend these people to hosts who have any kind of fireplace/fire pit.

[Helen350]

I just LOVE all  @Melodie-And-John0 's  many references to "Inn Keepers" - Sounds so cosy! Sends a shiver down my spine! (In a good way!)

[Melodie-And-John0]

Thanks @Helen350 , Im proud to practice the 2nd oldest profession on the planet, Inn Keep is  a fine job!  Stay well, JR

[Laura2592]

This is what I am thinking currently:

So and so were polite and friendly guests and we were honored to host them on their honeymoon. There were some issues with following the directions for the fireplace that resulted in damage/serious safety concerns involving a live firelog being carried through the house and thrown onto the porch. The guests were honest and offered to pay for the damage which we appreciated. I would recommend them for home shares where a host is present but hesitate to recommend for remote hosts with firepits or fireplaces. 

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592   That looks completely fair and honest to me. 

[Debra300]

@Laura2592,

The review is fair, and provides a good alert to other hosts.  If I were to receive a booking from these guests, I would just take some extra time to explain how to use any appliances that I think may be unfamiliar to them (beyond the instruction sheets that I have posted on the walls) to ensure they understand how to operate the gadgets, and feel comfortable with asking me for any assistance, if necessary. 

I have frequently hosted guests who come from backgrounds that have not exposed them to many things that we may think are common place, and they either think it's not complicated to use or don't want to ask for assistance for a variety of reasons.  For example, last summer some young adults rented my apartment, and I found after they checked out they had put the liquid dishwasher detergent in the rinse aid compartment instead of the detergent tray.  I know that they were not being malicious, but it's likely that they've never had or used a dishwasher.

[Clare167]

Just a suggestion. I think I would omit the last sentence. First, a young married couple probably would prefer entire places, so they might be upset by it. Secondly, other hosts can make up their own minds, you have been clear on the facts.

[Clare167]

@Laura2592 

[Laura2592]

@Clare167 hmmm. I think anything beyond glowing will give helicopter mama a meltdown so I am less worried about that than being fair and honest to future hosts. I always try to end my reviews with whether or not I would have these guests back or recommend to others. I don't think these people are a total disaster in every circumstance, but clearly they need more supervision. Therefore I wouldn't say "better suited to a to hotel" or "better suited to a different type of accommodation" but I would also not have them back. Someone may find these two a fantastic fit for their space. 

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592  Mama gonna meltdown. It's entirely your privilege to block her account in anticipation of that. It's not like she's a potential guest you'd be excited about hosting sometime.

I think your text review communicated your honest experience without violating the guests' privacy or defaming them. The first sentences convey the provable facts, and the final one expresses your personal opinion. You took great care to make it clear what was fact and what was opinion, and in that sense you did a service to the guests. Someone might read a vague review and assume the worst, but with the correct facts they can decide for themselves whether they find the booking acceptable or risky.

[Sarah977]

@Clare167  It seems to me that the line you refer to is more of a coded message to other hosts that these guests can't be trusted on their own, rather than any thought that they'd book a home share listing.

Who cares if the guests are upset by it- they could easily have started a major house fire. Maybe they'll actually read the instructions hosts leave the next time.

[Clare167]

Well, friends, it was just a suggestion, and @Laura2592, having interacted with the couple, is best placed to decide, but I can't help worrying about their stability and tranquillity in these difficult times. This incident, and the feelings of shame and anxiety it would cause, may have come close to ruining what should have been the happiest days of their lives. As a prospective host, I learn enough from the sentence about the burning log. It also occurs to me that further exchanges may be needed, over a damage claim (forgive me if I have missed something in the thread about resolution of this), and if so, it might be helpful to avoid the opinion/judgement, and just have the fact.

[Laura2592]

@Clare167Ah I see. If you are a new or prospective host you may not understand "host code." Because hosts are limited in what they are allowed to say and do try to ensure that the potentially upset or retaliatory guests don't go ballistic when their review is less than perfect,  hosts look for a number of messages. One of the biggest flags is  "i recommend this person to others." I always spell out if I would have the person back/recommend to others as do most other hosts. If you see a lot of guests with lots of "nice guest." or "thanks for staying with us" that is an indication that there were  issues and while the host is saying nothing publicly  something went wrong-- if you used IB you can also see star ratings which is a further indicator.  I could use the classic "better suited to a hotel" which is the gold standard for "no way should you let this person darken your door" but am trying to be fair by spelling out where they might be awesome guests. It will allow them to build up reviews in places where there is less risk and over time this experience won't mean as much. A few more poor stays and they will not be able to use the platform. I am trying to give them the best chance by being fair and clear.  Concern about the mental impact an Airbnb review will have on my guests is beyond my pay grade and role as a provider of short term vacation accommodation. 

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592 I'd rather people wrote no review at all than something like "nice guest."  For non-IB hosts there's no way to be sure whether the reviewer is being passive-aggressive or just lazy. So much of the time, the host account-holder is not actively involved with any part of the stay and genuinely has no useful information to share, but they're still prompted to review anyway.

[Emilia42]

In the heat of the moment, I also wouldn't take "thanks for staying with us" or "Instant booked for 3 nights" as a bad review or some kind of code that every host is supposed to know. These are the guests that easily slip through the cracks.