Three star review from new user

[James2566]

I’m really hanging on by a thread here. This guest stayed with us for six nights, we bent over backwards for her during her stay, she never hinted anything was wrong, left me this mystery terrible rating with no explanation. Reached out to find out where we can improve, crickets. The review is simply two words with a period.

The review doesn’t seem to breach anything by Airbnb‘s standards so doubtful they will do anything. It’s heartbreaking and I feel sick to my stomach. I would screen grab all of my interactions with her and show you the video walk-through I did before her arrival to prove it was sparkling clean. When she did not realize everything is closed on Sundays, we gave her four free meals and included our free signature cookies, popcorn and a couple beers. She asked me for a UK power adapter, I had one at her door within 20 minutes. She asked me to check in at 9 AM, I said no problem. In my conversation you can see me checking in with her every two days and her saying everything is fine. 

On the day of checkout she asked me at 10:30 AM if she could have a late check out. Unfortunately my housekeeper was already on the property so I told her I could push it to 11:30 AM at the latest. She never responded, I had a feeling because it’s never good to say no to late checkouts for me it ALWAYS leads to lost stars. But with this one I really could not push it any further. I remember having a feeling like oh dear, there goes a star. I still gave her an extra half hour. Overall II could not have been more super during that stay.

I just don’t get it. I got the warning email from Airbnb, the automated email about the three star review. I am anticipating two more bad reviews this week for other reasons so I think this might be the end of my hosting with this platform. Plus I have the joy of still hosting the guy right now who is entertaining all of his island friends in my home and borrowing dishes from my other guests to accommodate his parties. It’s just such a total loss of control for us this week, the pandemic has really taken us down. Due to so many countries being on travel restrictions we don’t have any bookings upcoming. Last year we changed our parameters to three month booking window to have more control over our long term calendar in such uncertain times (so we can also accept long term tenants which we couldn’t do in 2020 while we waited for guests to eventually cancel their reservations without penalties).

This means I can walk away from this platform at this stage and focus on VRBO and direct bookings without any more penalties. I can’t stand to see my hard work be undone because of the low global morale due to the pandemic. I’ve reached my limit with guests being rude, destructive and leaving low reviews and AirBnb being so robotic, automated and rigid in their support messaging. 

I got a massive migraine when I saw this review and I feel like the frustration of AirBnb is going to affect my health if I don’t put my foot down. 

 

[Sarah977]

@James2566 I'm sorry you are having these terrible guests, but why have you allowed this guy who is having friends over and bothering the other guests to borrow dishes, to continue to stay?

You posted about him before and everyone told you to boot him out. Why are you not taking control? I really don't get it.

And you also posted about the folks you gave meals to and allowed to check in early, then flew into a rage and threatened review extortion when asked to pay for what they had damaged. So I don't understand why you then agreed to late check-out.

Or is this 3* review girl yet another guest you provided free meals to?

And why did you leave her such a nice review when she asked to bend your check-in and check-out times?

If you do not behave in a way that shows guests you are in charge, you are essentially telling them they can walk all over you. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you allow people to take advantage of you, you are telling them it's okay to do so.

[Anonymous]

@James2566 

You know what you get when you "bend over backward"?  A broken back. That's it. Leave that to the gymnasts.

Great hospitality does not mean being a submissive doormat. It does not mean indulging people's worst impulses and tolerating bad behavior. And it does not mean going "above and beyond" the scope of what you offered in the first place. 

You're clearly very committed to the Nurturing aspect of hosting, which is but perhaps it's time to shift some of that energy into the Boss aspect: that also means you're responsible for enforcing the boundaries, sometimes doing the dirty work of saying NO, and creating a pleasant work environment for all your workers (including yourself). That last part is the hardest one - if you're a perfectionist and too focused on your clients, you wind up abusing yourself as the worker.

Take note that star ratings, dumb orange badges, and achievement points are not the measure of your hospitality. Those things were all designated by twentysomething programmers who don't know jack about hospitality.  The truest measure of success in your business is how happy you feel at the end of the work day, so if you're feeling demoralized it's time to take a step back and seriously rethink how you're running things. Take a break if you can, but more importantly:  host up and take charge.

[Clara116]

@James2566 @Sarah977 and @Anonymous spoke for me exactly.....as I read your post I was yelling to myself....WHAT......NO,,,,NO.....NO......I'm sorry but you created alot of this drama, disaster with your fear and style of backbends for your guests.....All those yes's and it only takes ONE NO to wipe it all out from an entitled guests that you fully supported and helped create. We have to remember WHAT WE Permit we PROMOTE! 

Read Andrews post several times and think about all he says.....its right on. You must take responsibility for your actions - 

p.s. don't doubt anything from Sarah or Andrew - they know exactly what they are talking about - very terrific hosts and both have wisdom to guide you with this situation/problem/solution.

best regards, Clara

[Ana7]

It is true, the more you bent backwards the worse is going to end... I had an experience lately, where a guest who was staying with me for 3 months bought a puppy and brought it in my studio, without asking me for a permission at all (I have a no-pets policy). I was so shocked that I remained speechless and didn't tell her to go find another, pet friendly, place (I was also desperate because of no possibility of getting another guest because of covid restrictions). So it ended with her puppy pooping all over my garden, but also on my blankets, which I had to throw all away after she was gone. It was such a good lesson for me. 

[Roxanne77]

You are not the guests' mother and shouldn't be hand-holding them through their stay. If you put all of that info into the house manual, point them to that and walk away. We learned early on not to do anything extra for guests and it was the guests that taught us that. "The ones who pay the least expect the most." Raise your rates to get better renters. Don't do anything extra anymore.  If you do anything nice for them, they think you are desperate and use that to their advantage. We learned not to respond immediately either and take a really long time to answer any messages that are going to be a "no" (like asking for late checkout one hour before? we just wouldn't answer until after checkout time or not at all "oh, just saw your request, sorry".) Same with if they showed up early, asked for things that are inappropriate, etc. We "ghost host" unless it's an emergency (it never is).

[Susan990]

Your story is so telling and true and a direct result of a culture of behavior entirely created by Airbnb itself via the draconian sociopathic structure of its review system.

  This man made nightmare would all go away instantly if Airbnb would simply adopt the review format created by VRBO.  It works beautifully. It is globally understood.  It does not allow for the insane situation you describe.  

  And why not  copy and use it Airbnb?  You have copied and used the entire VRBO platform from day one.  The only problems you have had is where you have molested the  Review system and the Super Host system--VRBO calls it Premier Host status.

  The Premier Host designation is created from a business like earnings of a level of rating scores . Entirely different from Super Host.

  I keep waiting for Airbnb to grow up and fix these two areas of their platform now that they are going public it is past time to get business like at a more sophisticated level.

  Like you I have shifted to the monthly stay system given COVID 19 and Airbnb policy as well.

This works for now very well. And the guests you get behave like renters not vacationers. Thanks for sharing your story.