A discussion of House Rules, Violations, and Ratings

[Alice-and-Jeff0]

Dearest fellow hosts -

There is no problem to solve here, I just want to talk with other hosts about House Rules, Violations and Ratings.  We have a long list of  "rules" which includes things like "committing to an arrival time and arriving when agreed" to "no smoking in the house".  Despite a long set of expectations for behavior, we have found ourselves frequently having to resolve a violation issue after it has already happened.  

Some examples are: when a guest texts me at 3:15 for their 3:30 check in that they are going to be 2 hours late.  We have this as a rule because we want to make plans and go about our day, but 99% of the time, we readjust and re-plan our day instead of cancelling them saying - nope, sorry, you violated rule number 1 already. Or when a guest shows up with a bag of groceries and we have a clear "no cooking" rule and their steak is already browning in the pan.  The most recent, the guest invited a friend over for an afternoon visit, opened the door and let her in herself, in violation of "no unapproved guests" and a "no entertaining" policy.  

So over some drinks, our conversation got all "thinky" and I wanted to reach out to hear your thoughts on how you handle your house rule violations.  We seem to only be able to deal with them after the violation has occurred or getting involved in the middle of it.  If you see someone breaking the rule, do you jump into the middle of it to stop it (like our steak guy - do we grab the steak off the stove and reiterate "no cooking")?  Or do you resolve it after the violation is over and then take action (like allowing the friend to exit the property first before discussing the "no entertaining" policy with the guest)?   And when does a house rule violation result in being expelled from the property for you?  What score do you give to guests to violate one rule, but follow all the rest - you can give up to 5 stars for "house rules" - is this an "all or nothing"?   And what about those standard rules like not allowing children 2-12 - what if you suspect the kid is 10 - do you kick them out?  

Again, just a discussion of your way of handling situations.  Ours are over, we've evaluated how we might change it in the future but I'd like to here from you about how you handle your House Rules, Violations, and Ratings.  

Thanks in advance for your insight and thoughts, 

Alice 

P.S.  That 1% of time some of you are wondering about from my stat above, well we had plans we could not change and agreed to meet her later when she needed to alter her check-in time at the last minute (we had expensive tickets to a show).  Then she marked US down for check in - how about THAT for a kick in the shin!

[Ivan-and-Debra0]

I think this is a great thread... I believe that Airbnb can't do anything about rude and disrespectful people... and Yes some of us are held captive by the 5 star rating ... i prupose that where a guest disrepscts the rules like in the late arrivals or not following listed rules, regarless whether they read or not, the hosts gets a 5 star as a default! This way Airbnb awards it's hosts ( revenue makers ) for tolerating jerks...

[Tammy21]

Regarding hosts giving a positive review and then posting negative comments. In my case I had an excellent experience with a family that stayed here. We chatted and enjoyed (so I thought) the interactions we had. So I gave them a positive review. Then they pretended they did not stay here and complained in their review.  I was stunned by this for many reasons. I am currently working on having the review taken down. 

Just thought you might like a reason for the turn around regarding positive reviews vers negative posts.

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Annette33

From the stories we hear here, I am so grateful that we get almost all 10 star guests. We get no damage, no transgressions, no drama. Just terrific people. This is the most fun thing we do in a very busy and rewarding life here. We totally enjoy treating our guests like treasures.

Kitty

[Gerry-And-Rashid0]

Personally I think a long list of rules is really asking for stress. 

For example: arrival time - no need to have it in your house rules - just agree it upfront with them in your email conversation. Get their  flight number for example, or agree that they will text you that morning to reconfirm their arrival time. Or be very strict and just say they can check in between x and x time in your email exchange.

I would look at the long list and see which ones are things you can talk/walk the guest through when they arrive. For example: where to put the trash, etc... 

Or leave a printed list of things they need to do on the day when they are leaving and show it to them when they arrive.

People just dont and won't read longs lists...they are on holiday, etc. I think if you are getting that many rule violations it is more to do with your list of rules than people (sorry!)

[Alice-and-Jeff0]

@Gerry-And-Rashid0 -  I have to politely disagree - rules violations are about the people, not the list.

The repeat violation is our very first rule which is "*We'll expect you to work with us to find a mutually acceptable check-in time and commit to arriving at the agreed upon time."  We give the guest the option to pick a time, any time they want.  This rule is to set the expectation that they need to respect us, our time, and our hospitality and be here when they say so we can go about our day. Many of our guests drive, not fly,  and we can ALMOST guarantee if they are coming from Atlanta or DC they will be late - typically just over an hour and as much as 3.   They don't plan correctly for traffic or make some stop and fail to let us know.  Imagine if we let a guest wait on the porch for an hour when we committed to being there!  We spend a lot of time working with them to get a time down on paper and message them the day before or day of travel to remind them of check in time.  When people don't show up on time - that's definitely on them - not on us for writing a list. 

Some examples of why we have this rule: One guest stopped at a museum on her way, 3-1/2 hours late and no communication.  One couple, text me when they were on the ground at the airport, "on our way", and then stopped for a sit-down lunch and left me waiting over an hour.  One guest showed up an hour early and I was in the shower. I was forced to answer the door, alone, naked except for my bathrobe. 

But we've never cancelled someone's reservations even though it is likely we could have done so.  We make note of their failure in our review of them and mark them down, typically, only taking away one star for House Rules (4 instead of 5).  We started thinking that maybe it should be more.  We contemplated if we would ever cancel a reservation because of someone's lateness in the future and we agreed that, given the right circumstances, we would the next time - it's just plain disrepectful to us.  Equally we decided, that if they don't read the rules we have set forth, well, it's disrespectful to the time, energy and thought we've put into them as well.    

Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate and respect your posts here and in other threads. 

[Ian-and-Grace0]

Kind of a tough call. The long rules list in itself should weed some folks out. Problem may be that those who are not weeded out are simply assuming that they are generically and habitually "good" enough to not have to worry about the details...

To the point about the list causing as much trouble as the people, I think you may be able to find some truth , and therefore some relief in there. It is most definitely a different beast to have people renting a room in your living space, to which I say- all rules apply, whatever you need to feel comfortable, by all means go for it. At the same time, the more rules you have, the more people can infringe, the more stressed you can become. You have a lot of rules! I like the way you couch them in friendly language and again appreciate that it is your home, but there may in fact be a causitive factor tucked away in that list. Interestingly, it need not be that the list is causing people to be rude or naughty. What we're talking about here is actually not a list of rules, but rather your own peace of mind as hosts. The rules are a tool that we use to have peace of mind, to hopefully help keep everything together and operating smoothly. At a certain point, the rules can overstep this bound and become themselves a stressor (Are they breaking my rules!? Again?!).

If you can almost guarantee that folks coming from Atlanta or DC will be late by an hour or more, then that is a situation where you are setting yourself up for frustration. Is it their fault for poor time management and planning? Maybe so. But you're the one getting frustrated and having your time wasted. To the extent that there is an unrealistic (as proven by historical precedence) expectation, frustration will keep coming if you do not find an adjustment.

How do you get past all this? It looks to me like you offer an amazing value and a beautiful space. It also looks like you're doing very well. I don't have any idea as to your market, but I suspect that with your pricing you are still competing with motels and cheap hotels strictly on a price basis. That's a problem because you're offering value far beyond that basis and your rule list builds your own expectations far beyond that basis.

From the perspective of someone looking at a motel for $40 per night vs staying with you for $50/$60, you are an easy choice. Too easy. Take that up just a notch, maybe $60/$70, and you may see the folks that are making that budget comparison disappear. From the care you've put into your space, I suspect you want to compete on a value basis with the low/mid range whole house listings in your area. What people give up with you is some autonomy, what they gain is a truly special experience- one that you work hard to provide. Charge for it and frame your listing in that light.

You've already begun down that road by introducing your rules as being for your guests to help you be great hosts for them. Clearly there are people who are comforted and attracted to that- there are people for whom your rules are actually securities that their stay will be to a certain standard. You want these people who are PAYING FOR your rules as a part of the service that you provide and not those who are paying despite your rules. You need to find the price that maximizes those people paying for, at the expense of those who are just budget shopping and paying despite.

When my partner and I were traveling in France we looked primarily for whole house listings. We stayed with one couple much like you (great hosts, tons of 5 star reviews, private room and bath only), for a price similar to a whole house because it was clear from the listing that the experience-value was going to beat the autonomy-value of a whole house and the budget-value of a cheaper place.

Sorry for the long reply. In short, I'm afraid that your rules build too high of an expectation on your part (as born out by the actual people you've gotten) and therefore you are setting yourselves up for disappointment. I also think that you can market and price your rules as a feature and a selling point and that that will help attract the people who want to follow them.

Two cents and a grain of salt,

Ian

[Kelly149]

yes, it is my guests that drive in that are often houuuuuurs later than the time we had planned. Perhaps could your arrival timing discussions with them confirm that they've allowed for some wiggle room? " I've often found Route 66 to be unpredictable for travelers. Is 3pm your best case arrival time or worst case?" or perhaps you have a nearby location to recommend for them to pass the time if you are unavailable? " Sorry your day has had some travel difficulties, I was available at 4 and will be back home from my activities after 8, please consider visiting Tasty Restaurant down the street, their salads and pies are quite good."

And, unfortunately, A Failure to Plan on Your Part Does Not Constitute an Emergency on my Part...

[Deanna13]

Thanks! All good and practical suggestions!

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Gerry-And-Rashid0

We have posted arrival times between 3 pm and 9 pm. We stay in communication with our guests before their arrival date. We always ask for an ETA.  We know that there are inevitable delays, depending on the day of the week. They are most often because of traffic. We have had great on the road communications from guests, letting us know when their actual arrival will be.  Only once has it ended up extraordinarily late, that was when a flight was delayed, and on top of it, a rental car had to be exchanged after a malfunction. We were not at all upset, this was all out of our guests' control.

On arrival, we introduce the guests to the features of their space, which is very easily done. It is a nice way to meet each other and make them feel at home.

Kitty

[René5]

@Alice-and-Jeff0

Thank you so much for bringing up this discussion about how we handle the breaking or disregard of House Rules. I too have appreciated your post contributions.  This comes at a particularly good time for me.

@Annette33

Thank you for sharing your thoughts/experiences.  Besides not feeling like I could add anything, you stated it so well, and I have appreciated your other problem-solving posts that many times have also added a way of taking it in, responding, resolving in the future with a tip or two thrown in.

So I'd like to solicit your ideas on how you might handle an unspoken rule - No Stealing.  I do have a long House Rules list, and I add more with checkin information, albeit more please do/don't directionals than b/w rules. And, I do believe it's guests making a decision to either disregard or honor rules, whether there are 2 or 20. 

Stealing: I don't mean packing a towel into their suitcase on the way out kind of stealing (that to me is one of those business loss line-items we accept).  I mean outright planned, profiteering, waiting for others to not be around, rummaging through, several things disappearing, asking you to buy more of your supplies because it's "run out", and asking for $$ reimbursements because another guests used their personal supply (of what I already supply).

Please understand, in order to get to this dilemma, I already went through days and multiple situations of "it's not worth it" and "I can't prove it - sucks to be me" smiles and have kept up my pleasant hosting.  But I'm now at the point where this is just too obvious, blatent and their efforts are snowballing as I think bravery is setting in. Too many days left in the rez to continue doing nothing and there is no way I can babysit 24/7 till checkout. I'm not going to change my hosting because this is the first time in over 50 guests, many long stays, where this has happened. I feel confident that because of how accommodating and turnkey my home is, I'm able to enjoy the relocators, interns, grad students in rotations appreciating the temp home they need.

So...I'm really more interested in how to respond in actions or attitudes or approaches to what is obvious *to me*, my assistant that this guests is taking, and then sometimes requesting us to replace those items since I have offered to provide them for guests.

I've also already called AirBnB, and was completely floored by their response - how dare I accuse w/o proof and hold the attitude that everything that might further go missing is due to this guest, when I'm not there all the time and there are other guests. I just asked them for any help they have to offer hosts like me in this situation.  I essentially got a scolding and informed that if I cancelled him, I would lose all the money the guests has already given me. 

I'd really appreciate your thoughts as to how you would handle this - moving forward.

PS:  The latest is he was found by my assistant having gone into my supply closet which is noted to be the one private area off limits (noted in the checkin instructions) and pulled out many of my tools stating that he was going to tune up his bike.  If there is a known way to cancel, I'd appreciate hearing what avenue to take.

If you read all of this...thank you so much! 🙂

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

Thank you for this discussion, everyone!

[Annette33]

@René5, o wow! what a nightmare this is....I feel for you -and I would be very angry and feel taken advantage of, no doubt.

As it is, you already have tried to be pro-active by calling Airbnb, no help , so you're on your own..

Sounds to me like this person  (or are they two) has some kind of psychological disorder, looking for attentiom, or whatever.  Also sounds like it isn't  a major financial loss, just constant disappearance of smaller things, but so constant that it is totally aggravating. Well, we are not psychologists, what to do?

I would definitely confront them personally and challenge them about all the things you think/know they have done. at least it will give you the satisfaction not to be taken as a goody-two shoes by these people any longer. No more smiling, trying to be gracious and pleasant,  make them uncomfortable! But I would definitely keep all of that away from the other guests. Don't involve them in any which way, that's not professional,  find the right moment to corner this guest in privacy.

I don't know of any smooth or advantageous way for you to cancel the stay/throw this person out, as Airbnb has already declined to help you and will  most likely take the side of that guest. Scary and disappointing....but if it's real bad, I would cancel them asap and just swallow the financial loss, as your peace of mind is valuable!

You can always go a bit slower and just see what happens after you are  making it clear to them that there will be no more additional replacements of anything, etc.. and be firm in the follow through!  In case they then cancel on you, ( maybe that's their whole plan in order to stay there free..) what is the worst that can happen? That somehow Airbnb will still  "punish" you - I don't know exactly how that would work out, but I sure would risk that, as your own integrity is more important.

The good news is that this is the first time this has happened to you and you are solid in the way you will not be changing your hosting style because of this episode, good perspective!

And now, good luck with it all,

Annette

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Annette0 this is such calming advice for the moment. Not knowing if the host is near shops or not - resupplies might be "on" the guest after an initial offering, right?

We have been most fortunate, only losing one book in all this time. That was in the very early part of our hosting. We put in our house rules that our library is for browsing while here, not for borrowing. We've had no issues after that and only the greatest courtesy from our guests.

I think it comes down to stating our policies clearly. When we get one of the real odd ones, as described, we can only be more grateful for the excellent ones.

Kitty

[Annette33]

@Kitty-and-Creek0, oh what a spectacular place you have, I just put it on my wish list ! 🙂

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Annette33

 How wonderful to hear that from you! Did I mention that we lived in Prescott in the early 1970's?

Kitty