Appropriate checkin concerns about size and weight of guests

[Anthony48]

This is a very hard this to ask about. I am myself overweight, and struggled my entire life, as has my entire family. It's painful and embarrassing, but when does responsibility come into play?

I have been hosting for a year and made significant investments into new bed frames, mattresses, and I never imagined the size of the couple that arrived to stay at my home today. The online pictures were face only, and it just never occurred to me that I should consider what is about to happen. There is no possibility that these two people will fit on a queen size mattress. I assure anyone reading this . . .this is not even traditionally American morbidly obese, it's really a concern for my furniture and belongings. It wouldn't be respectful to put numerical weights - but even high quality furniture has limits. We are beyond all limits here in size, girth, weight, space.  I don't know what my rights are, and growing up being bullied myself, I can't imagine how to handle this. I have well over $1,200 worth of furniture and bedding that could be potentially damaged here.

I also cannot see how they will shower or use the bath and toilet space. I'm completely stressed out about a newly renovated space.

Finally - shouldn't I express this as a part of participation with AirBNB? Privately to guest? Privately to AirBNB? I cannot imagine it in a public review, but they have no other reviews, and they came last minute today saying it was because they had an incident with another host. Of course I'm guessing what it was.

I also can't imagine screening potential future guests about this topic either. I'm just overwhelmed.

[Connie55]

I'm a Superhost and included in my listing that the furniture and bath fixtures are residential-grade not commercial-grade and that it would be a responsible decision for guests exceeding 275 pounds to book a commercial establishment. 

As of this date, I haven't yet re-commenced hosting since the pandemic hit last March and I honestly can't find where I wrote that in my listing and am now wondering if airbnb deleted it (?).

[John-and-Heather0]

@Anthony48  I think there is a LOT of overthinking on this thread, and there is a simple answer: this is what the damage deposit is for, and this is why people use formal contracts.  Most hosts primary rule is apart from normal dust and normal used linens that can be cleaned with one wash, return the home as you found it or pay for what was damaged during your stay (regardless of whether damage was "accidental" or "on purpose.")

If someone breaks an item, does it really matter whether it was one obese person or 7 monkeys jumping on the bed? I think not. So long as the guest takes responsibility, for loss or damage, it is just a math problem.

I don't think there is any way to bring this up without the HOST being the a**hole--and justifiably getting a bad review that says "do you want a weigh-in for the host to decide if you are svelt enough to stay? Great! Stay at this wonderful accommodation. The host will judge you for free!"

Obese people are not ignorant about their own obesity--so no, there is no way you can have a "compassionate" discussion about this. In my experience, if something breaks they are going to be horrified and on top of the situation to compensate for the breakage.  You have little to gain and much to lose (pun intended) by putting a guest's weight on the table. 

Get a security deposit, make it clear in your rules that "you break it, you buy it," and pre-judge guests at your own risk.

[Anthony48]

Although the beginning of this thread is quite old . . . your response was actually my solution - and very well said! (and frigging hilarious)

[Connie55]

Anthony,

I hear your anguish and I remember how I felt that when I was in your shoes!  Confronted with that situation I encountered strong feelings of  protection and fear for the health of my carefully curated guest space, one  I devotedly spent hours planning and installing with blood, sweat, tears and financial investment.  To the poster who suggests we buy or avoid certain furniture so as to accommodate people with particular disabilities, please consider this:  For some of us, hosting is about a lot more than getting paid.  My quirky guest space is an artistic expression that I get to share. It would be compassionate of me to incorporate into my artful space stronger chairs and beds but I'm a teeny tiny non-commercial venture with limited resources that needs to narrow things down and focus!!!  That's the beauty of renting spaces in your own home. 🙂 I reserve the right to choose an antique, wicker, or big box store chair, and I reserve the right to be responsible by warning people in advance of a weight restriction.  My heart goes out to any guest suffering in any way from any medical problem such as obesity and I sincerely apologize for any hurt feelings caused by my listing description which includes a weight restriction (also for safety). 

[Debra199]

I've had this obese guest stay before.

She's coming back Tuesday.

In a conversation about her husband's snoring, I asked if he was over weigh? Her reply "no I am."

This made me think hard about her weight and potential damage to my king sleigh bed...i let her know u was not confident with the structure of the frame and that I placed in the log bed she liked before with a full bed for her husband. Same cost.

She went quiet, she asked me to take a deposit for her reservation:)

I will give her a different dinning room chair for breakfast.

I freaked when she sat on my 2500. Leather couch.

[Connie55]

Keep in mind please that some people only have one guest space and are one person hosting and would have to cancel incoming guests until repairs and replacements were made.  

[Elizabeth348]

Yes heads up for other hosts - I just had this experience and discussed with the 300 lb guest afterwards suggesting that he let future hosts know that he would need robust furniture.  I thought this was consistent with Airbnb policy to be totally transparent about what we are offering/expecting as hosts and guests.  But no - he called Airbnb and was told:

 "at Airbnb we believe that anyone should be able to belong anywhere. We are committed to two foundational principles, inclusion and respect," and they asked me if I wanted to file a discrimination claim and have them contact you."

Fortunately he has not filed a claim, but obviously this is not an issue that hosts are allowed to raise!

I do not see filing for damages as a solution either.  Damages may not be immediately apparent, and heavy wear and tear is not really billable.

Looking at guests facebook page is a good suggestion by one host in this thread, I wish I had done that - however that may not cover all the guests staying.

I would never discriminate against someone staying based on their identity, but this is an actual practical issue that has implications for the home of the host.  I think it is a legitimate practical basis for deciding whether to host someone, just as some hosts do not want to have children stay.

Other ideas welcome!

[Mandi-S-Just-Business-Ro0]

If a big couple or person arrived, and I had another option that may be more comfortable to them (and me), I'd suggest "Hey! I have something else you might want to take a peek at!" People are naturally curious, and it's a gesture of goodwill. You can also follow up the discussion on platform.

You can also suggest changes with delicate pieces with more robust ones, saying "You may find this more comfortable." Their choice.

At the end of the day, there may indeed be nothing to worry about. And if there is, t hat's what the insurance is for.

Speaking of comfort, my personal experience accommodating big people is that they seem to like easy access to cool drinking water; sometimes a lot of it. A cool pitcher or bottled water is always appreciated.

My guests also preferred a cooler room or place. Even in winter, a fan was appreciated. I'm always sure to show them how the air conditioner and windows work, too. 

Where possible, I try to provide natural fibers such as cotton for comfort. Personally, I like a cotton towel on a pillow any ole time!

[Jacqueline58]

I just hosted a couple whose combined weight was about 800 lbs. I purchased the mattress 8 months ago, foam, $500, and I worried about it permanently sinking in or even the bedframe breaking.  He did break a lawn chair, admitted it and gave me $10 to replace. The couch and pillows seem permanently mashed in.  My place is not set up for heavy-duty weight wear. This is a financial investment to me. I only charge $50/night and no cleaning fee so my profit is very narrow. I changed my House Rules to include a weight restriction due to mattress, shower and furniture weight limitations.  I need to protect my investment. It is too large a financial risk.

[Amy38]

@Anthony48 @Jacqueline58

i have yet to hear of anyone getting the damages from their deposit.

if this is a regular thing, you should add to your description that the furniture is just normal household quality and the beds are not reinforced as in hotels.  Probably it is illegal to have weight limits.  That being saud, airlines make obese passengers purchase 2 seats

[Connie55]

I see it as being responsible to include a weight restriction in the listing description and I have one, too.  It fits very nicely I think in the Amenity Limitation area and I suspect that may be why airbnb not long ago creating that phrase and added it for host use.

[Maeve9]

I'm experiencing a similar issue as I write this. The photo on the profile was a pretty, slim girl. She and her mother were visiting from Ohio and didn't mind sharing the queen bed. When I greeted them I could see that these ladies were much more than queen bed material and I began to fear for my new memory foam bed which has flexible wooden support ribs under the mattress. They spend all morning after breakfast in bed watching TV and usually go out to eat around 2pm and return around 5pm where they get back into bed and watch more tv. 

They broke my no food and drinks in the bedroom on the first day when they brought fast food back and ate in bed. I politely reminded them of the no food in bedroom policy. Today I caught the daughter bringing their pancakes and syrup down to the bedroom! She acted like she forgot about the rule.

These ladies are very obese. I'm worried about my bed since they appear to spend their whole vacation in it! I'm relieved that Airbnb policy pays for damage but I have another guest arriving the next day and won't have enough time to repair the bed IF the wooden ribs are broken. Wish me luck that all is ok and the bed is not damaged!

i enjoyed reading all the helpful advice.

[Ron156]

This is a very tough issue to deal with.
I am not exactly a small man at 6' 215 lbs, I have been heavier.

The bed frame in my rental I have is reasonably well made, but it has been broken 3 times in about 18 months by men that weighed very close to 400lbs or more and their partners, who were not particularly small themselves.
Only one of them had the decency to tell me.  The others snuck out without saying a word.
Having been a furniture maker, each time the bed has been broken, I have replaced and reinforced the broken support and or rail with better than original material and fabrication.
But many hosts do not have that skill, and I often do not have the time to make such a repair.
After thinking over solutions, I decided to remove the slats that the springbox lays on and use metal frame underneath it instead. It just fits inside the rails and is hidden by the foot board.
The mattress is a midgrade spring mattress with top pad, I did not notice that it was affected by their weight

[Julia66]

Most hosts posting on this topic mention the inconvenience and cost they have experienced with very heavy guests. It is more important to consider the possible injury to the guest and the consequences of this for the host. Surely it would be in the guests' interest for a host to say something tactful about weight limits in the same way that a listing can say it is not safe or suitable for children.

[Amy38]

Statistics :  In 2007, 4.7% of American adults were obese,; in 2015, 40% were obese.

iron frames.