How to handle those difficult reviews!

[Robin4]

I have posted this comment on another thread but have felt that, due to problems experienced by new hosts when it comes to how they should handle the review of difficult guests I would open a new thread.

This is a long post but a lot of time and thought has gone into it....We all learn every day, and as you continue to host you will become very proficient at sorting out 'the wheat from the chaff' but if you take note of these points I am sure this post will stand you in good stead!

Reviews cannot be taken frivilously because they are the centrepiece of the ABB platform. But on the other hand we are reminded at every opportunity that anything less than that 5 stars is not good enough...and for that reason we 'pussyfoot' around issues for fear what we say may come back to bite us in the bum!

And if we start rating our guests as per our experience.......ABB will find a way to remove it!

From seeing thousands of these posts I think I have come up with a protocol for reviewing.

There will be some hosts and guests that will fall outside of the common boundaries of accepted behaviour! There are times when police will need to be involved and even more times when help from Airbnb is required and these incidents will require immediate action, but this will only ever be the case for a handfull of bookings over your hosting experience, particularly as you become more experienced in spotting problem guests before accepting! So what I am saying will not be relevant to those situations. What I am talking about are those hostings where rules were broken, personality clashes existed, and there may have been a different perspective between host and guest. If you are concerned about what to write, try the following! And if the reviews do differ wildly keep these points in mind for your review response:

1/. Never write a review until you have had two nights sleep after the departure of the guest! There are many little things that will annoy you enough to make a comment when they are a fresh experience, but which, with time, will mellow and can be appraised in a more objective way.

2/. Always write a review as though you have been asked to do it for someone else. 'YOU' will see things as being 'bleedin obvious' because it's your 'turf'! Another set of eyes will see a legitimate reason why the guest did (or felt) what they did!

3/. As I have said before, make yourself a nice drink, leave your emotion out in the garage, or out in the barn before you sit down at that keyboard. What you write at this point will stay with you long after you have forgotten about that belligerent 'turkey'! It will stay with you as long as you host and....it cannot be removed! We have all said things we wish we could take back! When it's in a review it is 'set in stone'....there is no going back!

4/. Tell the community what you feel about this guest, but don't give the guest a reason to resent you. As I said in a comment in another thread, you can make them feel guilty by carefully selecting your words but still finish by wishing them well in future. This way the balance of nature is restored....you made your point, but you have also said 'no hard feelings'!

And if their review is a stinker:

5/. Never get into a 'he said/she said' slogging match with a guest. You will always loose, and you will make yourself look petty and a difficult person, in yourself, to deal with. Remain aloof and always assure the guest you value their contribution because after all, the only way you can become a better host is to take notice of what others say. Don't apologise, but tell the guest some things are beyond your control.....like, how much cloud cover may have been present on the day! But tell them that their comments will be taken on board and acted on.

Many guests will form an opinion of you by how you carry yourself in the review process....you can be seen as a diplomatic person with great hosting skills........or you can be seen as a 'tough nut to crack' !

Sorry this is so drawn out but, it is a major issue on the forum ....I am not saying I am the review sage but I have had a lifetime dealing with people....I took a mechanical services company from 3 employees to 27 in 6 years......and I don't think my people skills are all that bad!

Cheers.....Rob

[Huma0]

@Robin4

Also, speaking about numbers, although they gave me 3 stars overall, that was the highest rating they gave me in any category. Some categories they rated me only 2, or even 1 stars.

Still, that has only knocked my 5 star rating down to 83%, so putting things in perspective, the effect is not so bad.

You are right that so far the only review they have is from me and, while I was much more polite than them, a savvy host can still pick up that they caused damage (and perhaps that they upset another guest).

[Huma0]

@Robin4

So, I left my response because it was bugging me and I just needed to do it!

While it's not as jovial as your suggestion, I did listen to your advice and didn't go into the details of what the guest actually did. I tried to keep it more impartial and incorporated some of your ideas. Thank you! I hope it hits the right note! I also took advice from John, whom I can't seem to tag here because he responded on another thread.

"While I always welcome any feedback that helps me to become a better host, I do think that Luyao's review says more about her than me, and the tone might give some indication of where any 'unpleasantness' was coming from. I'm not going to go into the details of why I think the review is unfair. I would rather let my other 96 reviews and Superhost status speak for themselves. After all, if nearly 100 guests give you 5 stars for your communication, you have to wonder why only one guest had a problem with it! Please read my other reviews for a more balanced perspective."

[Robin4]

@Huma0

Good girl, that is really good Huma! There is nothing there that she could complain about and have removed. You didn't get into a cat fight with her....and you know in your heart you have handled this well.

Now back to your 'renos' and leave this sorry tale behind!

Cheers....Rob

[Huma0]

Just a quick update here to add that Airbnb removed the above negative review because they believed it to be inaccurate and retalitory. I'm still glad though that I gave a lot of thought on how to write a reasoned response to it as it was immediately after the review was posted that it could have done the most harm (it was removed several months later when a CS rep happened to spot it whilst looking into another matter for me).

I believe that by highlighting the disparity between this negative review and the many other positive ones, I didn't lose any bookings because of it. Had I ranted at the guest listing all the rules she broke and what a nasty piece of work she was, that might not have been the case... Guests are naturally going to first see an argument from other guests' perspectives rather than the host's, so we have to think carefully how to get our side across without making ourselves look like the guilty party by coming across as crazy!

[Robin4]

@Huma Once again you have proved yourself to be an ace host!

Good on you Huma.

Cheers.....Rob

[Susie5]

 @Huma0 @Robin4, so sorry this happened to you, Huma! after all the  hard work you put into your place and the decoration etc.  I think the review speaks for itself - I wouldn't worry about it at all. And as it's her only review, any host who does the slightest bit of homework will know to stay well clear of her!! 

I had a rocky start to the new year as well with guests (probably from the same country as her as it happens), didn't seem know  how to live in a house without a maid, such as "fully close the outer door when it's 1 degree F outside", not put a bunch of food debris in the sink, turn off the 1500W space heater when you go out, and most of all, don't leave a pot simmering on the stove when  you go out for the day! there was more but that kind of sums it up....

Hope you have a good New Year !

[Huma0]

@Susie5

Thank you. Sympathies to you also as your recent guests sound infuriating!

Yes, I've often had guests where you wonder if they've had a maid to pick up after them. However, often they are just being careless and not thinking about it. If you politely ask them to be more careful, they usually don't freak out or punish you in their review/ratings because of it.

I guess it comes down to upbringing and manners. I'm sure my recent guests thought they were being polite, but there's a big difference between polite and passive aggressive (followed by just plain aggressive) and messaging your host in the middle of the night about non-urgent matters is just plain rude in my opinion.

The couple staying with me at the moment aren't like that at all, even though they told me they have servants back in India. They perfectly understand that things are different here and that I am not their maid! 

[Sarah977]

I have been lucky in that almost all of my guests have been wonderful, low maintenance and hassle-free. I did have one or two who took some unacceptable liberties or weren't as responsible as they could have been.

In both cases I confronted (that sounds aggressive, but it wasn't- I was tactful and unemotional and merely stated the rules they agreed to, as well as the reason I have those rules) the guest at the time of the incident, and in both cases I was met with an apology, and the behavior was not repeated, or in the case of a quite young guest who had never booked with airbnb before and sprang her boyfriend on me (I only rent to solo travelers) the first night, we worked it out amiably at the time.

The young girl with her unbooked boyfriend both turned out to be charming people, I allowed him to stay (I couldn't believe they could both squish happily into that single bed, but they did). He cooked breakfast every morning, and always offered me to partake, we had some great conversations, and she gave me extra cash to cover the extra guest. As she was young, and new to airbnb (and I was a fairly new host, so wanted those good reviews), I told her that springing an extra guest on a host was verbotten, that I would not give her a bad review for it, but that most hosts would, so she should know that going forward.

They did leave their room a disaster mess (no actual damages), but I have hosted people from her culture before and know that they are almost all slobs. So I gave her a good review, a thumbs up, 5 stars for most, but one star for cleanliness. She gave me a very short but great review-  "I spent the best week of my life here!"

Going forward, I would continue to try to work issues out with the guest at the time of the problem, and not involve airbnb or give them a bad review unless they were unresponsive to my concerns. Then I would private message them just to let them know that I appreciated their attitude and response to the issue, and that I hope it was a learning experience for them in their future bookings with other hosts. If they simply continued to be difficult or ignore my requests during their stay, I would definitely poor review to warn other hosts.

[Huma0]

@Sarah977 I totally agree with what you are saying and have had many similar experiences myself. I will let many things pass. My friends and family think I have the patience of a saint to be doing this in my own home, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't enjoy it on the whole.

The problem guests I've been discussing above fall into the category you mention at the end of your post. They simply did not accept that any of my rules applied to them. If they caused damage to my property, so what? 

In hindsight, I should have contacted Airbnb and opened a case for compensation. I was trying to be understanding. After all, accidents do happen, but these guests were so outraged that I even dared mention the damage to them. You cannot reason with people with that attitude.

Thankfully, the vast majority of my guests are not like that!

[Mary996]

Very very helpful. Thank you xx

[Suladda0]

With reference to point 5 - stinker reviews.

I recenly had one that directly accused me of inappropriate behaviour, unprofessional, terrible apartment, fraudulent description of the apartment and area and lots more. They also claimed a refund back from Airbnb due to the 'so-called experience'.

I think there is a level when one can 'rise' above the minor complaints. However, when a guest is deliberately lying (and I can prove that for at least one complaint, many of the remainder are overtly unreasonable (such as small amounts of sand in a beachfront apartment) I think that it is reasonable to defend oneself against the review.

I believe the guests were deliberately creating issues so they could claim the refund, much like a patron at a restaurant would deliberately place hair into their meal.

Given that I have hundred of excellent reviews and zero bad ones to date (3 years, 5 apartments), I need to protect my reputation.

Further to this, Airbnb have stated that they assume that the guest is being honest (and by basic logic that the host is NOT honest) and have refunded the guest 50%. (This despite photos demonstrating the lie to at least one major complaint).

So minor complaints I would agree with your reecommendation. However, for a fraudulent attack I think there is cause to allow for a  vigorous defence. (In this case, in my reply to the review, I pointed out my many good reviews and asked the reader to question why the wide disparity in quality of this particular review).

[Robin4]

Hello Suladda

I am sorry that you have had to go through this experience and there is a possibility that Airbnb could have handled it better. But I did thoroughly read Alex's review and yes, it is a poor review but everything that is stated in there is the guests perception.

There are a couple on points in that review that, as an outsider,  I would be concerned about!

Alex did not accuse you of inappropriate behaviour Suladda....she accused 'Graham'!  Where female guests are concerned a male host must be extremely carefull not to be too 'familiar'! 

You don't joke with them, you don't make comments about their appearance, you don't overtly study them...you must at all times just be cool and professional.

Suladda, some women are capable of being an explosion waiting to happen! They may have been molested as a child, they may have had an uncomfortable work experience. 

My mechanical services company was involved in an Airconditioning up-grade to our city's Convention centre. At one point in the contract one of my employees was coming down a flight of stairs as a female centre trust worker passed in the other direction walking up the stairs. The whole site was brought to a stand-still because the female lodged a complaint! Her complaint was....

"He looked at my boobs"!! that was it, nothing more than that. It was summer and the female may have had a low cut top, but for 4 days this site was brought to a stand-still while 'Government Work Practices' negotiated a settlement.

Men must at all times be very professional when dealing with women and is it possible that Graham overstepped the mark here Suladda with his comments?

My other observation here would be, sand is a natural thing to expect in a beach listing, particularly with a bit of traffic in and out.

But a guest does have an expectation that the property they are entering for the first time will be clean and sand free. What they bring in is their problem, but not what they find on entering! 

Now Suladda, I bring these points up, not to be-little you, but to explain, I can see why CS have arrived at the decision they did where this review is concerned. What the guest Alex has said in the review is her perception of what she found. She did not accuse you or Graham of stealing anything of hers. She did not state something that was a personally slanderous accusation!

What she did was state her perception and Airbnb will allow that in a review.

Suladda, you have wonderful reviews and you are obviously a fine host who may have just struck a prickly one here....sooner or later we all do. I am sorry you launched into that tirade of a review response because that is going to keep on attracting future guests to that review. If you had just dismissed it with a one liner. ...."I thank the guest for their feedback, even with 250 great reviews we hosts do at times need a bit of guideance" ! Just keep it tongue in cheek! Everyone reading a response like that would have a laugh, think, how good you are..... and what a turkey Alex was/is!

Let it go Suladda and just learn a bit from it...we all do, every guest teaches us something....and all the best to you and Graham!

Cheers......Rob

[Karen842]

I am currently hosting a woman for two nights who has been extremely difficult,  Its her first tine using Airbnb and I don’t think she fully understood what she had signed up for when she booked my place.  I offer my master bedroom with insuite bathroom for a very reasonabable price. She is in town for an art show and my place is one block away. In the past she had stayed much further away in a hotel.

 She has not stopped complaining since she arrived.  She screamed (and I mean screamed!) at my son last night for being too loud. This was her first encounter with him. She opened my hall closet and a broom fell out. She has complained  to me about the cable channels and her inability to read the WiFi password, etc.. the last straw was 10 minutes ago.. she complained about how the fitted sheet on her bed was not straight. She asked me to come look at it, but I declined. 

I know she will leave a negative review. My question is do I say something to her before she leaves? Do I write my review first? Should I contact Airbnb before she trashes me and ruins my rating. 

Thanks

Karen 

[Jack70]

Hello Karen, I suggest you just don`t write a review on her at all.

[Victoria567]

Hi @Karen0

Its not a case of who gets in first regarding a written review.

A review should be factual and to the point written without diva emotions creeping in.

A bit of sarcastic humour usually gets the point across