How to handle those difficult reviews!

[Robin4]

I have posted this comment on another thread but have felt that, due to problems experienced by new hosts when it comes to how they should handle the review of difficult guests I would open a new thread.

This is a long post but a lot of time and thought has gone into it....We all learn every day, and as you continue to host you will become very proficient at sorting out 'the wheat from the chaff' but if you take note of these points I am sure this post will stand you in good stead!

Reviews cannot be taken frivilously because they are the centrepiece of the ABB platform. But on the other hand we are reminded at every opportunity that anything less than that 5 stars is not good enough...and for that reason we 'pussyfoot' around issues for fear what we say may come back to bite us in the bum!

And if we start rating our guests as per our experience.......ABB will find a way to remove it!

From seeing thousands of these posts I think I have come up with a protocol for reviewing.

There will be some hosts and guests that will fall outside of the common boundaries of accepted behaviour! There are times when police will need to be involved and even more times when help from Airbnb is required and these incidents will require immediate action, but this will only ever be the case for a handfull of bookings over your hosting experience, particularly as you become more experienced in spotting problem guests before accepting! So what I am saying will not be relevant to those situations. What I am talking about are those hostings where rules were broken, personality clashes existed, and there may have been a different perspective between host and guest. If you are concerned about what to write, try the following! And if the reviews do differ wildly keep these points in mind for your review response:

1/. Never write a review until you have had two nights sleep after the departure of the guest! There are many little things that will annoy you enough to make a comment when they are a fresh experience, but which, with time, will mellow and can be appraised in a more objective way.

2/. Always write a review as though you have been asked to do it for someone else. 'YOU' will see things as being 'bleedin obvious' because it's your 'turf'! Another set of eyes will see a legitimate reason why the guest did (or felt) what they did!

3/. As I have said before, make yourself a nice drink, leave your emotion out in the garage, or out in the barn before you sit down at that keyboard. What you write at this point will stay with you long after you have forgotten about that belligerent 'turkey'! It will stay with you as long as you host and....it cannot be removed! We have all said things we wish we could take back! When it's in a review it is 'set in stone'....there is no going back!

4/. Tell the community what you feel about this guest, but don't give the guest a reason to resent you. As I said in a comment in another thread, you can make them feel guilty by carefully selecting your words but still finish by wishing them well in future. This way the balance of nature is restored....you made your point, but you have also said 'no hard feelings'!

And if their review is a stinker:

5/. Never get into a 'he said/she said' slogging match with a guest. You will always loose, and you will make yourself look petty and a difficult person, in yourself, to deal with. Remain aloof and always assure the guest you value their contribution because after all, the only way you can become a better host is to take notice of what others say. Don't apologise, but tell the guest some things are beyond your control.....like, how much cloud cover may have been present on the day! But tell them that their comments will be taken on board and acted on.

Many guests will form an opinion of you by how you carry yourself in the review process....you can be seen as a diplomatic person with great hosting skills........or you can be seen as a 'tough nut to crack' !

Sorry this is so drawn out but, it is a major issue on the forum ....I am not saying I am the review sage but I have had a lifetime dealing with people....I took a mechanical services company from 3 employees to 27 in 6 years......and I don't think my people skills are all that bad!

Cheers.....Rob

[Annette33]

@Emily145 , I like your attitude of "what's done is done", yes! bickering with a guest via private message after they are gone is a waste of time and energy, it will not change the review. Answering publicly to her very short review is an option, but since it is so short and bland, I would just let it go, not drawing attention to it, certainly not ever mention things that were only brought up in private messaging. At most you might say that you're sorry she wasn't completely happy, perhaps she would be better suited for a hotel stay.  That seems to be the coded wording for a picky guest. Future potential guests will read it and not know if she gave you 3 or 4 or 5 stars. It stings you, but hardly means anything to the next guest. Airbnb will not fault you for  not answering.

It seems that well priced accommodations are particularly vulnerable to such reviews,where the guests expect 4 star hotel amenities. Sorry this has happened to you - good luck next time!

[Emily145]

Thank you for the response and reassurance @Annette33!

[Robin4]

@Emily145

Oh Emily, I feel so sorry for you that you have stuck this 'prickly' individual!

Emily now is the time to remain dignified....look at all your other reviews....'Emily's place was perfect'...'Emily's house was great'....'We had a perfect stay'! Everyone else loves you and what you do.

There are always going to be people like this woman, and her page doesn't exactly 'bristle' with great reviews like your does! In fact there is only one. 

Most people are not fools Emily and we can clearly see when someone marches to the beat of their own drum. This experience for you is unfortunate but don't lash out at her in your public response to her.

You have left her a fairly good review, so there are limited options in what you can say now. Emily I think at this point you should simply say that "Payton has extremely limited experience in using Airbnb, and my home may not have been that 5 star Marriot that she might have been expecting. I can't really learn anything from her feedback as it was just a one line statement, but I thank her for providing it and wish her well"

I know Emily you have to turn the other cheek but that does tell the rest of the community that Payton was not in fact a great guest, but it does also tell us that you are a great host. And if you restrict yourself to something like that it will not bring unwarranted attention to that review....It will simply disappear into obscurity in no time! Don't make a big deal of it!

Good luck Emily.....I hope you never strike another one like this one!

Cheers.....Rob

[Jack70]

Emily, I wouldn`t like to use used soap either, I ordered a box of 500 hotel type soap bars wrapped in paper, comes to about $30.00, we also always put a new roll of Toilet paper and an extra roll for all our guests.

[Robin4]

@Jack70 Yeah I did the same thing Jack, I tracked down a carton of full size boxed Dove moisturising soap for under $30. That works out to about 12c per cake, so even overnighters get one, and as there were 144 cakes in the box that gives me a few years of hosting, baring in mind, not everyone uses one! I also supply liquid soap, which incidentally was what I am quite sure @Emily145 was refering too. Most of us will supply liquid soap in a large pump pack, and as Emily says you don't chuck the pump pack out after each guest.....It's not a matter of a guest getting a used cake of soap! Nobody would expect or do that!

Cheers.....Rob

[Emily145]

Yes, you're right @Robin4. I provide liquid soap in a foaming dispenser rather than bar soap. I keep extras in the vanity cabinet, but as the current one was nearing its end I placed the extra next to the near-empty one on the sink so the guest who finished up the old one wouldn't have to hunt for it. So the guest even *had* a brand new soap dispenser at hand, she just *also* had a nearling-empty one, the sight of which seems to have offended her. 

I also always have at least 2 full rolls of TP along with the one currently in use - and a third full one if the guest is staying more than 3 nights, just in case. I do think I may start taking TP rolls that are more than half used upstairs and finishing them myself, as it probably just makes things look a little more polished if *all* the rolls are full or close to it. The volume of TP coming upstairs would be low enough that it wouldn't start to accumulate the way hand soap would if I was constantly carrying dispensers that had been used once upstairs! 

[Jean110]

Hi Anna, it does not matter if you review them or not. In 14 days their review is going to be public. With or without your review. I would leave a review, apologizing for the inconvenience and mentioning that you felt so bad that you refunded their entire stay with you. I wouldn't say they were good guest and I wouldn't say you want them back ir would refer them. And if they do leave you a bad review. ..dont respond. It just draws attention to the post. I would tell airbnb, in private, that they were problem guest. And give them low stars.

[Jean110]

Ana & Pedro. I would not ever refund someone's entire stay. You still had them in your home and ultimately are now out of pocket. Thats not fair to you and a problem guest, doesnt deserve it or appreciate it. And its not gonna change their review. I would have told her you are going to refund her $10 a day for their inconvenience. Maybe refund up to half of the stay. Although not having hot water is a big issue, its not the only service you are providing. And I do agree with Rob. Wait atleast 2 days to writ a review. And make it short and vague and DO NOT respond to a bad review. Let it go, but dont screw yourself over. You deserve some compensation every time you open up your home to a stranger.

[Daria20]

Some very good points here,  @Robin4! Especially the one with having a couple nights sleep after reviewing a difficult guest. I've had an experience where a guest moved literally every single thing in my place (like switching places of paintings around the house, taking out all my souvenirs and putting them to another place, furniture etc etc) and left it that way. I was so shocked and annoyed.. we had a long private conversation after reading each other's reviews which only made things worse after that. So yeah, great idea to cool down before taking any action!

[Robin4]

@Daria20

If we all had the same outlook on life we would all be friends.....the whole world, we would think as one! But it doesn't work that way, some people will appear to us to do the stupidest things....they don't neccessarily think they are stupid but in every aspect of life you have to step back and put yourself in the eyes of the other person.

I responded a little while ago to a host who received a really nice review from a guest who was from another country. As that guest was writing that review, this host was in the process of writing his review of her saying she was nothing but trouble!

She was nothing but trouble because she was in a strange country and city trying to communicate in a strange language....and she needed help!

Daria, it's not up to us to be nurse maids to guests but, it is we who are inviting them into our homes and it is up to us to......put ourselves in their eyes and understand how hard some things can be, that they would take for granted and no doubt do differently at home.

When you sit back and reflect on a situation, the average person will see things in a better perspective, and I have found that decisions I have made in life after considering all the options invariably are better than those that I made by shooting from the hip.

Thanks for bringing that back to me Daria, it is something I have found helpful and hopefully you will too!

Good luck and cheers.....Rob

[Phyllis2]

I just had a guest state that my listing was completely misleading.  Stating that it wasn't private.  I have a private suite in our home with ground floor accesss.  Complete access to walkout back yard to the beach.  Private entrance and designated parking.  The catagorie listings only have apartment

not suite in private home.  I have apartment in my listing but in description I have made it clear that it is in our home.  It also says host on site.  I provide breakfast amenities but don't want to list as a bed and breakfast as guests have to make their own.  I think Airbnb should provide a category for private suite in hosts home. 

[Allison95]

Thank you for this incredible post. I've learnt so much. As a NEW host, I'm putting out all stops to go over and above, and my own reviews are always supportive and thankful, helping to create that fantastic AIRBNB community which we treasure.  My challenge was one extremely negative review left for me which trashed my confidence, and my efforts. Yes, this is a business however I remember the AirBnB ads which promote community. Every negative point made by the guest was a flat lie. I turned the other cheek and apologised for any misunderstanding. It didn't diffuse her negativeness. Unfortunately, I have to turn on my BUSINESS button and be firmer in my own expectations as a host. Maybe being a hard nut is better...

[Huma0]

So, I have received my first three star review and it's an ugly one. Worst review I have ever got.

I was expecting this as the guests were a complete nightmare. Even though they apologised and left a card, they were so passive aggressive that I was sure they were insincere about it.

All of the problems while they were staying were down to them ingoring everything on the listing, the house rules and the information in the house tour. It was not a language barrier, they just seemed determined to do whatever they felt like. They were also very demanding, messaging me in the early hours of the morning etc.

There were many things that I could have complained about (noise, leaving loads of lights on when they went out), but I didn't. In the five days they stayed here were actually only three things that I politely asked them not to do.

1. They showered with the cubicle door open, flooded the floor and caused water to leak to the ceiling below. I did not ask them to pay for the damage, only politely asked them to make sure they closed the door next time. The reaction was "We will never take another shower in your house!"

2. They clogged the drain with hair and left so much hair everywhere that my other guest was too disgusted to use that shower. I only asked them please not to clog the drain with hair. They insisted it wasn't them, even though they were the only ones to use that shower and it was spotless when they arrived. They even blamed it on a mystery person they said was staying here.

3. I said that while I was happy to receive feedback, it would be great if they didn't message me so late at night. They said they could message when they felt like it and that I didn't have to read the messages at that time.

I think most people would be able to tell that these guests were not reasonable, but obviously I'm not going to put all of that in my response.

How about something like this?

"I am sorry that X and Y did not enjoy their stay. All I asked, after they flooded the bathroom and caused damage to a ceiling, was that they please close the shower door next time and not leave the drain clogged with hair. I also politely asked them not to message me in the early hours of the morning. I am sorry if this was too demanding or tedious for them! I would suggest guests read my other reviews for a more balanced impression of my listing."

[Robin4]

 @Huma0 ....

Oh Huma, you poor thing, and after all the effort that you put into your property but Huma, this review can be seen as a positive for you!

Once again I reinforce what I have always said, stay away from the 'he said/she said' bit, you Huma are much, much better than that.

Try this for size!

....."The great thing about the Airbnb review system is, it tells all of we users how we feel about each other and what sort of people we are. When reading some of my 97 reviews, I would like all users, both guests and hosts, to read and take note of Luyao's review. Fairly obviously it says far more about Luyao than it does about me. I am a social person and love meeting new people but, there are those occasional instances where, one meeting is enough!" 

Huma you have 97 reviews, she has 1.....who do you think we will take notice of?

Huma, don't get into specifics, if you do (and this guest can somehow muster up the required amount of intelligence) she will find a way to have the review and response removed, and by saying something like that you have well and truly got your point across. You have already stated in your review that damage was an issue, that's all any of us need to know.

Put this one behind you and have a great year ahead possum!

Cheers.....Rob

[Huma0]

Thanks  @Robin4!

Yes, I was thinking a bit about the percentages.  These guests have given me the lowest ratings I've ever received, e.g. 1 star for communication when I had 98% five stars for it before! Only 2 stars for cleanliness, even though I had something like 96% five stars for that before, and they were the ones that were actually unclean.

I do think that when someone criticises areas that everyone else has commended, e.g. communication, it says more about them than anything. Hopefully others will also see it that way. I did think about saying something along the lines you suggested in my review instead of my inital ideas for a response, so you kind of read my mind!

I think, as you have always advised, it's better to wait a whille for the steam to cool down before responding rather than let emothions get the better of you.