You do not need to hold your guests' hands, or engage in long discussions that don't interest you. Yes, check-out time and no-smoking rule can be emphasized with notes in the room, but to prevent the smoking issue state clearly in your house rules (which guests must agree to before booking) that no smoking is allowed *anywhere on the property*.
Regarding reviews, they should be short, unemotional, and factual. I don't think guests' theories about voodoo and spirits are relevant. For the first guest:
"Assumed personal livery service was included in nightly rate."
For the last guest:
"Had some difficulty checking out on time."
Re. the smoking, you can include or not. This one is kind of on you for not making your requirements clear.
Thumbs up or down: just be honest, would you or would you not host again?
Hang in there. You will get better guests as you acquire more good reviews, so you are right to be very focused on that for your first ten or so.