@Mary348
Sorry for the delay in responding to you Mary. This is the problem with living in a 'global community' .......while some play, others sleep!
What would I do in your situation.....Mary, I don't know, I have never been put in that situation.
My feeling is that I would have refunded the unused nights, and take a financial hit.
There is every probability that this guest will lodge a claim with the resolution centre for an entire refund, and it is possible that this will be granted, even if you have refunded a portion of the stay amount.
What I would strongly advise is to try and solicit some form of statement out of her in the message stream as to what she wants and expects from you. You may even be lucky enough to have her threaten you with a poor review if you do not accept her terms! That would be a real bonus for you! By doing this you will then have a record which you can put to the Resolution Centre to say her actions were intimidatory and threatening. Do not have any level of contact with her outside Airbnb messaging.
As you have said, her manner changed when she thought there may be an evidence trail associated with her conversation, but it is worth a try!
There is a growing band of guests who do know how to use the system to their advantage Mary.
I am not saying this guest is doing that but many are aware of how to have their stay and not pay for it.
I have spent some time in a support role and I have seen the situation where a 'guest' stayed in a listing for three weeks, and on leaving claimed (and got) an entire refund for 'Bedbugs' that he and his partner had introduced on leaving the accommodation from a supply he carried with him for just this purpose! Although this 'users' account was subsequently removed from the Airbnb platform, after it was discovered this was not the first time he had pulled this stunt, the host lost their listing amount for that stay and had to provide an exterminators certificate to prove the listing was bug free before being allowed to host again. That scenario cost that host many thousands of dollars!
Mary, this is a no win situation for you, you are not going to come out of this well, but don't stoop to revenge tactics. I know others will tell you to 'lambaste' this woman in the review process but if you call her 'rude or threatening' there is every probability she will have your review removed....we have seen it so many times.
I know of one Superhost who has a perfect review record but who is actually the subject of the most vitriolic complaints from a number of Airbnb users on another website.
Good luck with this Mary, I wish I could be more help here....and I hope you do not come across another like this in your hosting career.
Cheers.....Rob
Before you write anything make yourself a cup of coffee and don't get involved with emotion....