A rather difficult unhygienic situation

[Jessica1023]

Hi all. Im posting this question after my best friend called me for advice on how to deal with this tricky situation. And shoot me, Im not sure what id do myself, and as a host I would also want to be told about my fault instead of my guest keeping silent and having a next guest finding the same.. surprise.

So how would you talk about this as a guest and how would you want to receive the comment as a host: your thoughts are valued 😉

So heres the situation. My friend has to travel to the same city a few times a year and found an air bnb he really likes (it has an office, kitchen and comfy bed and the location is ideal). The host is supernice and friendly (a ‘love laugh live’ type of person), but a newbe in the field of hosting. He was her first guest. I came over too to visit and found bloodstains on the sheets. Being a woman, I know its only natural to have accidents that cant wash out. But as a host you should really get a seperate pair of sheets for guests 😉

So thats a newbe mistake. And i told my friend to be frank about it (in personal comments). It will help her to be a better host in the future.

He did and she was glad about his honesty (felt a bit ashamed tho) yadieyada.

And he returned last week. Yes new sheets and cleaner place, but he had to redo the undersheet of the matress. He felt something weird while replacing the side of the matress and therefore pulled up the whole thing: ah, it was a full crossed bondage strapp (bdsm). And you know what? Thats okay. A bit awkward and funny but not a huge prob.

The bigger prob was the toyhook he also found while moving the matress. It was right under the bed (at the side). It was dirty: literally **bleep**ty. He didnt have to come close to see that. 

Both my friend and i are ‘kink friendly’ so finding straps and toys is ‘okay’ in a way but you should hide these things while hosting. Its not a huge prob. Its the hygiene that is the problem. 

The big question is: after first pointing out that bloodstained bedsheets are not okay and having a uncomfortable talk about that: How do you tell the host that you accidentally found her literally **bleep**ty toys?

My friend still likes the apt and wants to return in the future but is really upset by again being confronted with her hygienic oblivious matters around the bed. 

How should he talk about this with her: he doesnt want to seem creepy (as tho he was looking through her private things : the hook was just lying there under the side of the bed). He does want to return in the future. He is disgusted about the whole thing. Doesnt want to hurt her feelings tho..

What are your thoughts? Im amazed and frankly dont have a clue what to advise..

[Linda108]

@Jessica1023  I am more surprised that your friend wants to return to this type of situation.  Newbie host or not, it is not the guest's responsibility to educate a host on how to be professional.  Her reviews, which should be somewhat negative, will be the dose of reality that will teach.  

I have seen how "liking" a guest or a host sometimes blurs the reality of the professionalism of this business.  Hosts let guests get away with breaking rules and guests allow hosts to take advantage.  It is the double edge of wanting the shared home experience to be personal.  

I would suggest your friend be honest and specific, not only about what he found, but how it makes him feel uncomfortable in her home.  If she is as nice a person as he thinks, she probably doesn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable.  Then he should book another place for a while until she is able to get here act together.  He can look at how her reviews progress and book later if he likes.

[Paul1255]

@Jessica1023 I have to echo @Linda108 's sentiments- why would they want to return to a host who has twice made them feel uncomfortable.

I certainly wouldn't want to return after error number one let alone number 2, but maybe that's just me.

I suppose perhaps a written note on check out or through the post could always take the awkward element of communication out of the situation if they do want to offer feedback.

[Branka-and-Silvia0 · Accepted solution]

ooo myy good 😄 😛

I would leave a note on the bed saying something like "  you forgot something under the bed"  and would not come back ever again . If this host is capable to overlook bloody stain on the sheet and dirty toy under the bed then I wonder how hygienic is the toilet / bathtub / door handles ... ?

[TracieandJason0]

@Jessica1023 Worst case scenario is he doesn't tell her and someone who is not as chill as your friend discovers the item... I guess that's not really your friend's job to educate her anyways but I would just tell her and not return because that would be so awkward. 

[Mark116]

Is it possible it was other guests who left these toys and is not the property of the host?  

I would probably find another place, too, as the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.  If those are the host property and they were just left there in the bedroom, then this person is probably not a good enough cleaner to be hosting.  I'd give more slack if the stuff was left and hidden by a previous guest, since a person doesn't always check under the bed.

I'd be tempted to  simply leave them out in a very public place, in the middle of the bedroom floor or something with a note that says 'I found these here' and see what kind of response is given, but again, I would not stay here a third time after that because it IS an unhygenic place.  Not everyone is cut out to do hotel level cleaning.

[Jessica1023]

Thanks everyone! And indeed, he soon decided he will never return. Hes going to leave a message on the bed with a bag of babywipes haha awkwaaard.

Zero points on the cleanlyness/hygiene. Thats for sure.