Asking Apartment Manager for Consent. Please help me improve my letter template.

[Mateus4]

EDITED based on feedback from Gerry And Rashid, and David. Thanks!

Dear [apartment manager],

I would like to inquire about getting written consent to rent a room through the AirBnB platform for a trail period in regards to section 8 of the lease.

A few points I would like to make in my favor:
    - AirBnB mitigates risk to the host and the landlords by:
        - Insuring all hosts and their landlords under a one million dollar insurance policy. The policy provides liability coverage for property damage and bodily injury to others arising during a stay at their Airbnb accommodation.
        - Providing a one million dollar policy (independent the personal liability insurance) providing a wide coverage of property damage.
        - Verifying hosts and clients. Also, AirBnB provides a personal approval process at the host discretion.
    - In my opinion approving AirBnB as part of the lease in the future would increase the value of the lease.
    - In my opinion it is perceived as cool and hip. Analogous to people's perception of Uber.

This is something I very much would like to do and I appreciate your time and attention to my inquiry.

Sincerely,

[host]

[Gerry-And-Rashid0]

I think you are trying to exaggerate the benefits to the landlord of allowing you to sublet - and it would be better to keep to the facts and try and assure the landlord that there are checks in place, etc. I would also suggest that you say a 6 month trial (for example) as a landlord is unlikely to want to set a precedent.

Additionally you do not say whether or not there is a reference to short term or subletting in your lease. If there is, then you are asking the landlord to vary the terms of your list, and while they may be willing to do so, it is unlikely as there is no benefit to the landlord. In fact there is additional risk associated with strangers coming on to the property. If there is no mention in your lease then the landlord cannot generally extend the terms of the lease without going through a formal process. 

There are a few misleading points in your email which you should correct:

AirBnB does not do background checks on guests. It verfies them, which means it accepts proof of identity that shows a person is who they say they are.

There is no factual basis to say that granting you the right to sublet increases the value of the lease to the landlord.

'Current tenants would take a neighbor using AirBnB as a positive'....: there are plenty of examples of areas, communities, etc that take a completely opposite view and have banned AirBnB and other short term letting because of the perceived damage done to communities, availability of housing stock, etc.

[Mateus4]

Thanks for the feedback! So I took in your points on the trail period, referenceing the lease, and background checking. I added "IMO" to the receptions and value points:

Dear [apartment manager] and [landowner?],

I would like to inquire about getting written consent to rent a room through the AirBnB platform for a trail period in regards to section 8 of the lease.

A few points I would like to make in my favor:
    - AirBnB mitigates risk to the host and the landlords by:
        - Insuring all hosts and their landlords under a one million dollar insurance policy backed by Lloyds Bank. The policy provides liability coverage for property damage and bodily injury to others arising during a stay at their Airbnb accommodation.
        - Providing a one million dollar policy (independent the personal liability insurance) providing a wide coverage of property damage.
        - Verifying hosts and clients. Also, AirBnB provides a personal approval process at the host discretion.
        - Security deposits
    - In my opinion approving AirBnB as part of the lease in the future would increase the value of the lease.
    - In my opinion it is perceived as cool and hip. Analogous to people's perception of Uber.

This is something I very much would like to do and I appreciate your time and attention to my inquiry.

Sincerely,

[host]

[David126]

Lloyds Bank?

I agree that most of that is silly.

[Mateus4]

Thanks for the feedback, I tried to tone it down a bit. Edit above.