Saftey advice to female hosts

[Gabrielle31]

Hi to all female hosts,

After some stressful experiences, I've decided to refuse any further booking requests from men. I thought about perhaps only accepting men who meet certain profile and verification criteria, but at the moment I think it's far simpler to refuse all men and avoid the worry.

I offer a single room in my two bedroom flat. I've hosted two single male guests. Both tried it on – albeit in their subtle-but-not-so-subtle ways. I felt VERY uncomfortable. 

I decided to stay out of their way, going out almost every night to avoid them. One guest unnerved me so much, that when I did sleep at home, I kept a rape alarm under my pillow.

I guess they saw me as fair game, although neither of them new whether I had a boyfriend or not – that didn't seem to be a concern for them. I found it very difficult to be the friendly accomodating host, while asserting the fact that I was not available for intimacy. I know how affability can be mis-read, which can be ok in the outside world but when you're 'trapped' with a guy like this in your apartment it's scarey.

The second male guest outright confessed that he chose my place because my photo was attractive and that I appeared to be single (he purposefully looked for evidence of a man in my text). I have since changed my profile to include my boyfriend – luckily I do have one, he just doesn't live with me in London right now.

My advice is to think really carefully about hosting a single male guest if you live alone. Even if that male guest says he is married. Even if they have a few good reviews. If you have an attractive profile photo, they are most certainly checking you out and thinking of ways to get intimate with you once they are inside your home. 

And if you have a boyfriend, make sure he features in your profile – it may help to deter the creeps. 

[Wendy-and-Frank0]

You can discriminate on gender, familial status, and guests with disabilities if you share the house but discriminating against race, color, creed is a great big, big NO NO!

Fair housing laws in the US are clear and strict and they don't mess around.

That is one lawsuit you don't want on your "to do" list.

[JiYoung2]

Hi

I just have a question according to what you said. 

I'm about to host airbnb single room. But as a single woman, I'm worried about staying with only male guest. Based on what you said, would I be allowed to mention "Only women" in posting explicitly ? 

Thank you ! 

[Bethany7]

Yes, you can discriminate on gender if you share living spaces with your guest. You can say "women only".

[Trevor---Jacqui0]

Hi there

Did you ever find out if you could mention "Only Women".

I am thinking the same thing and I am not sure.  I suppose I have to pose this question to AirBnB?

Thanks much.

[Trevor---Jacqui0]

I have to giggle because there is a solution that I came across for myself and to date it seems like that problem has gone away.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  Stage it for the first few times and soon word gets out amongst the creep world, "She poses alone in he profile picture but when you arrive, her three or four adult cousins greet you.  They are very friendly and welcoming, however, their triceps and biceps don't look so friendly.  Apparently they also live there."

Creeps look for opportunities and when they are surprised to find that there is no opportunity, they are forced to graciously resume their stay, behave accordingly and leave, never to book your place again, which is what the lone female host needs so that she is safe and secure.

Lately I am getting bookings from decent respectful people.  Strange and weird messages are not occurring anymore.  I have my space again and being alone I am not afraid anymore.  If it happens again, my cousins will surely come over and stay again ... giggles ...  

[Rose123]

@Andrea9 thanks for your thoughts on this thread. I'm considering setting up a new Airbnb in Manhattan and hosting guests as a second bedroom situation. I wondered if you ever found that you had less bookings due to the 'no guys' policy? I'm concerned that in such a competitive market as Manhattan it might make the listing unviable. 

Has anyone else had any thoughts or experience with this (NYC or elsewhere?)

Thanks to @Gabrielle31 for bringing up this issue in the forum, as it's been on my mind for a while when considering to list in this way.

[Bethany7]

Yes, you'll get less bookings if you don't allow guys, but it's worth it to me just to feel more comfortable. I've received a decent amount of bookings by advertising for solo females or females and their guests, meaning couples. At least I'm getting the market of couples traveling, also.

[Andrea9]

@Rose123

@Bethany7 took the words right out of my typing fingers!

My experience with not using Instant Book, but having a conversation with any potential guest, follow-up information, and shortly before arrival touch down reminding them of a couple things, usually makes for a great experience. I'm not as inundated as others, but April has been chock full and the spring/summer/early fall months are usually quite to very good.

Getting super host status seems to help, because when guests choose the search option "only hosts with good reviews', they're only shown Super Hosts and not the 5-star hosts without SH status  😕

I'd say, go it slowly and take the time to find your hosting muscle, learn from experiences. It's sometimes harder than one thinks, and about 70% consists of psychology! I can't tell you how often I fiddle with something on my description, or in my reactions to inquiries/requests, or when checking guests in. It's an organic finding out what works best with who or which situation.

And I've learned a library of tips and tricks from the Community!

[Rose123]

@Bethany7and @Andrea9

Thank you for your wise words! This is certainly very encouraging. It's wonderful to see there are others out there who are efficiently finding solutions to similar problems. 

Seems like you are both having great experiences as hosts which is fantastic. 

Go girls!

🙂 Rose

[Alice285]

Thanks for this advice. I have just started t renovate my spare room and, being a single woman, have been wondering about being able to be an air bnb host that jist caters for women. I only haver a single room also so wouldn't be able to accommodate a couple until I make enough to buy a small double. It's mice to hear from you and all the other lovely ladies rat ABB totally have your back! 🙂 

Oh,does anyone have advice for hosting with just a single room and shared bathroom??

Kind regards 

Alice 

[Valerie192]

Hi @Alice285, I am exactly in your boat! Single room with a shared bathroom. I only host Ladies. Feel free to check out my listing to see how I handle it. I found listing this UPFRONT was important because when it was buried lower in the description I would occasionally get men requesting to book and I always kindly point out that I only host ladies. I also have a smaller place so I 90% of my guests are just one person. On occasion I have approved a friend or family member staying as well but there is an extra charge for that. It is just tough to have 3 ladies sharing 1 bathroom! 🙂

I know as an often solo female traveler I would happily pay a small premium to stay in a female's home. I therefore charge a little bit of a premium. I'm not booked 100% of the time as my listing will only be a good fit for some, but the guests I get all seem to really appreciate that I cater toward them. So it works for me!

Feel free to reach out if you have specific questions. Thanks!

[Patricia769]

I'm a single older woman (75) ... I hadn't even thought about the issue of a single female's safety.  Do you think mentioning my age would be a deterrent?  My rental has a separate entrance, and I can easily keep the door to my house locked.  I haven't hosted yet . . I'm still setting it up, so haven't put my hosting info on airbnb yet.

[Andrea9]

@Patricia769, Hi,

In my opinion there's always two sides to something. On one hand mentioning your age could be a deterrent for some, while some on the other hand might view it as you being easier to handle.

Hosts have been suggesting to add a profile picture including a man (friend, brother, whatever) to suggest there's a partner somewhere in the picture of your life. Your picture is great (and you look great!), maybe another one showing you with a man could help.

I probably wouldn't include my age, yet you could flesh out your profile and tell something about yourself that describes yourself incl. the strengths - sports? semi-retired? (I love that expression!) any other activities that don't suggest an easy push-over.

You'll most probably notice you get a gut feeling about guests, and as most on the forum will tell you: if you get a bad one - don't override it! not even to start getting reviews in the beginning and trying to talk yourself out of being suspicious. Believe me - your gut feeling is your best friend and guardian angel!

Happy hosting! 

[Daniel1992]

@Patricia0, just to give you some insight, you would not be able to list "women only" in your profile as you would not share a space.  However, being a mid-30's single man, I don't suppose I would be the person to give you advice on what to put in your profile.

[Susan224]

I want to add my story to this too. I believe I have just had a middle aged male stay who was hoping for than accomodation. Luckily he wasn't much trouble when I indicated no interest, but it was still disturbing. He presented as very friendly, explaining the mnny problems with his new job for which he had moved to Sydney. He then tried to pursaude me to allow him to stay on for three months. When I realised this did not add up and refused, he was taken aback and said this was not how he thought things were. I made sure I went away for his last couple of days (and he was so disappointed). All subtle, but all dodgey too.

I can understand why women decide to host only females.