Saftey advice to female hosts

[Gabrielle31]

Hi to all female hosts,

After some stressful experiences, I've decided to refuse any further booking requests from men. I thought about perhaps only accepting men who meet certain profile and verification criteria, but at the moment I think it's far simpler to refuse all men and avoid the worry.

I offer a single room in my two bedroom flat. I've hosted two single male guests. Both tried it on – albeit in their subtle-but-not-so-subtle ways. I felt VERY uncomfortable. 

I decided to stay out of their way, going out almost every night to avoid them. One guest unnerved me so much, that when I did sleep at home, I kept a rape alarm under my pillow.

I guess they saw me as fair game, although neither of them new whether I had a boyfriend or not – that didn't seem to be a concern for them. I found it very difficult to be the friendly accomodating host, while asserting the fact that I was not available for intimacy. I know how affability can be mis-read, which can be ok in the outside world but when you're 'trapped' with a guy like this in your apartment it's scarey.

The second male guest outright confessed that he chose my place because my photo was attractive and that I appeared to be single (he purposefully looked for evidence of a man in my text). I have since changed my profile to include my boyfriend – luckily I do have one, he just doesn't live with me in London right now.

My advice is to think really carefully about hosting a single male guest if you live alone. Even if that male guest says he is married. Even if they have a few good reviews. If you have an attractive profile photo, they are most certainly checking you out and thinking of ways to get intimate with you once they are inside your home. 

And if you have a boyfriend, make sure he features in your profile – it may help to deter the creeps. 

[Lisa-I0]

I'd love to see your listing Gabrielle. When I click on the button that says view listing nothing happens. Is there another way to see it? I've been working all week to get my extra bedroom worthy of listing. It's ready and all I have to do is figure out the no single men thing.

[Jennifer865]

I am a hostess with a single room in my apartment that I rent out on Airbnb to women only. Not only does my ad says"female" "lady" and woman in it. it is a seriously "girlie" looking room. In spite of that I still get enquiries from men. In reply,  get the lame excuse that they cannot read English, to which I reply they should try this interesting thing called "Google Translate". I literally just got a request from a male in France, half my age who wants to get to know me better ("i think it will be better for both of us if you wish it's as you want to get to know more just one can to learn a little about each). This stuff is not funny! It is stomach turning. Aside from tersly worded and very sarcastic email replies from myself, we have this great thing called a "block" button, so make use of it. I also reported the slimy guy to AIrbnb.

Ladies,  I will conclude with a reply to the concern of losing business......it won't happen! I came on Airbnb at Christmas 2017 and am solidly booked up to the begining of July 2018. At the end of the day, there are just a lot of single female travellers who want the peace of mind of not having to put up with perverts during what should be a peaceful and pleasant vacation. I offer a quality, clean room and apartment,  great hospitality and a good price, and that is what keeps women coming here. So I have had "0" issues by banning men outright. So, it is your home, and don't invite in those you don't want. Period.

[Mandi-S-Just-Business-Ro0]

Good Day,

I have been an (older) single female host for a year. I've accommodated 55 trips, and 80% of them are male. I have several rooms, meaning that at any given point in time there has been more than one guest. Most of them are less than half my age. This seems to work in my favour. The overwhelming majority of my guests appreciate the price and the extras, and my metrics are high. 

To protect myself and my other guests, I put a lot of effort up front into pre-screening. This is on my profile, description, and contract. They get one chance. If they are dodgy, then I decline.

Which brings me to another topic.

Any host with Instant Book gets top billing, even if their metrics are awful. If I don't, i'm bottom of the food chain, even though I'm 93% 5-star. IB is very risky for female hosts offering in-home rooms. Now we are expected to accept +88% of requests. This is becoming too much pressure for this host. 

It's interesting that there is only one female executive on the Airbnb board. And that none of them have rental units.

[Liz469]

Hi there, I see you say you complained to Air bnb, did you have any problems, i need to send an inappropriate e mail to them but it wont go for some reason. They too 31hrs to get back to me the first time. Did they ban the customer or what happened. Regards Liz

[Gillian150]

Rather late into the conversation but in researching whether to host or not, and with a large house with en-suite rooms and a much traveling husband I thought hosting would be perfect for me.  BUT my only concern is the security, so hearing I can in fact decline any single men or groups of men for that matter is so helpful.

I'll continue with my research.  

[Victoria567]

Hi @Gillian0 Instant booking is not as bad as it sounds as long as you Tick ALL boxes to do with MUST have government verified ID through air bnb, MUST say who they are, MUST say who they are travellng with, MUST say why they are coming to visit your area, MUST tell you a bit about themselves, MUST have previous verified reviews.

If you Do NOT feel comfortable with any booking ,YOU as host phone the London air bnb number and get them to cancel the booking without financial penalty or hosting listing penalty to you.

You only get serious guests, no time waters or creeps indulging in mean,essa conversations with you.

Have cast iron house rules, look ok at my listing as an example.

I would not as a single lady host single men or 2 male guests unless my husband was in site.

You are inviting total strangers into your home.It IS your home, set the price higher than your competitors to weed out the riff raff.

All my house rules have been a direct result of some guests ridiculous behaviour.

Do not allow alcohol or smoking anywhere on your premises.....I had to include this after one chap decided that a crate of beer was just the thing to have in his bedroom to get drunk on!

Dont sucked in by the virtue signallers who allow everything on their home patch, yet don’t get rogue behaviour....these are the hosts who give glowing reviews to guests that are as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Just look at the thread where one chap allows pot to be smoked on his premises and then has the crust to whinge when these guests send him Pot seeds through the postal service.

Just take care as  it is YOUR home and YOUR safety.

I ve done three seasons worth and had mostly great guests, but this year the rise of the entitled guest has really taken me by surprise.

The amount of allergies being one case in point!

[Hana69]

Reading this thread has been like wrenching open a pressure release valve and I don't think I could possibly express enough gratitude for the information exchanges going on here. I host a rather large house while living in the finished basement and have occasionally gotten the spooks when male guests checkin late, try to engage me in long conversation, or request that I come upstairs to assist them. So far they haven't given me any problems but my anxiety over whether they will can be almost too much to bear at times. I want to share my space with people regardless of their sex, relationship status, race, religion, etc. but I also have to balance that availability with my need for security. So far my intuition and firm boundaries have been the twin supports that I lean on. Bottom line being that if I'm uncomfortable I have the right to remove myself from the interaction and return to my private secured space or the right to refuse to engage in the interaction. I've only had to put my foot down a couple of times when my spidy sense was screaming at me, the guilt over sounding cold is inconsequential compared to the peace of mind that came with holding my ground.

[Daniel1992]

FYI, I work with the Fair Housing Act of 1968 A LOT in my day job.  As a landlord (which all hosts are), you normally cannont discriminate based on sex or gender when renting.  However, there are three exceptions to this:

1) You are simply renting out 1 room (like a storage shed or a garage);

2) The renters share a living space with the landlord, like a kitchen or a bathroom;

3) Single-sex dorms at educational institutions.

Obviously, we can't do the last one, so if you're doing either of the first two, your covered.  HOWEVER, make sure you are EXPLICIT in your profile multiple times that you will be sharing spaces in the house, and list the rooms, to protect you from a lawsuit.  If you are renting out any other type of suite that doesn't share any sort of access to where you are staying, then you cannot discriminate based on gender.

This all being said, you CANNOT refuse to host someone based on race or age, even in a shared space situation.

Hope this clears it up for everyone!

[Letti0]

@Daniel1992  Actually the age one you can refuse to host someone if your insurance, HOA's or company bylaws restrict age. An example would be a senior living residence. 

[Jonathan6]

Do you know if it is not a "senior living residence" can an HOA set a restriction on age?  The only times I have ever had complaints from neighbors has been with young 20 somethings and I would love to have a restriction that you must be over 25 (maybe even 30) to rent.

[Letti0]

@Jonathan6  Absolutely. My bylaws make me a resort and set the age restruction to 21 years old. Also my commercial insurance has the same age limit. Many HOA's and Resorts set it to 25 years old the documention given to AirBnB proves you are not violating the age discrimation policy in place, but following the laws and rules requested by your HOA's, Resort, Insurance and Bylaws. 

[Trevor---Jacqui0]

Hi all

My name is Jacqui and I have a guesthouse in South Africa.  Anyway I have been reading all the comments with regard to safety for women hosts on AirBnB.  I think I have realised what I need to do after reading all the comments so thanks much to all those comments.

Well, I guess, no more risks for me because for the last two months I have been wondering how to tackle this issue regarding hosting men.  It was becoming tiring for me to reel in the backup support when men were booking a stay.  It is without a doubt that there were times that I knew that I was a target for something sinister and so far the Gods have been with me.  Being new to this you kind of follow the tips that you are given only later to discover that those tips could pose a possible threat to your safety.

You get these great reviews but no-one on the outside really knows what your inner fears are.  It is sad that we have to camouflage our images with muscle behind us just for the sake of safety.  It is terrible having to work in an uncomfortable environment and to make matters worse this is in your own home.

For the few that pose a threat to our safety now all have to suffer - what an injustice to the decent ones.  I guess this life here on earth - it takes all kinds to make a world.  You win some, You lose some.

I am a practising host and just feel sad that my decision now has to be based on safety and security alone.  As hosts we have other rewarding attributes and what a shame that some innocents will never get to experience what we have to offer.

I was just beginning to feel on top of world with this new venture and now reality has sunk in making me aware of an issue that had not even crossed my mind.  I think AirBnB should have an opening lesson on all these issues before we sign-up so that we can really understand the gist of this whole thing.

I did do my homework on all of this but as life goes without saying, there is always that one or more thing that just slips past, only later to reveal its poison.  I guess if AirBnB does some sort of Workshop on Issues then it can help with some issues that will be missed.

Anyway I love hosting and love meeting new people all the time.  It is amazingly interesting and I wish I could eliminate that one issue that I have.

[Yulianna0]

I’m also hostess renting one room in my flat. I accept single men and even working with very late arrivals. And I agree that the best protection is to have a small conversation before approving someone. Absolutely must to trust your gut feeling. And mention in the conversation that you are not alone:) In my case I always say that my neighbors are helping me and my adult son is living in the town. 

Funny moment: my male guests gave me many advices about security:). 

[Cormac0]

@Gabrielle31 

I find interesting that women having fought hard to break down the barriers to joining men-only clubs, that some women are trying to erect the same barriers based on gender.

Could it just be, our forefather knew a thing or two about the human condition.

On a practical note, there's no point including your boyfriend in your profile picture, and then in your written profile explains that he lives in Madrid, additionally and I really don't want to open a can of worms perhaps if you wore a blouse rather than showing so much shoulder skin it might attract less of these predatorial men as you explained in your original post.

[Rachel177]

@Cormac0 who cares what she's wearing? Stupid, inappropriate comment from the dark ages and just reinforces why some women are not comfortable hosting males.