We're 3 for 3 on rude guests and about ready to give up on AirBnB, so I wrote up our experience thus far to assess and relieve stress. Can you relate or is it just us?
http://phloating.blogspot.com/2016/10/an-ode-to-airbnbers.html
You are our dear houseguest;
we strive to treat you our very best.
You travel on AirBnB to humbly learn from the host.
We share what we can, and need the help to pay the internet, at most.
Nowadays it seems everyone has access to internet
on their computer, cell phone, pad, or tablet.
I post the host rules and send out emails, yet
you’re just too busy to read or respond, I bet.
No set check-in time, then, you just appear.
No concern for my time waiting all day for you here.
No apologies, excuses, or amends with a gift of beer.
No hope for getting off to a good start, I fear.
You’re given a smile, a tour, and a key.
You head straight to the bathroom to “pee”,
using up half the roll, since it’s “free”,
caring less about resources and the Toilet Paper Tree.
Next you dump your groceries in the kitchen,
eat my treats ‘cause you had an itchin’,
leave dirty dishes and don’t think to pitch in.
I clean up your crap without even bitchin’.
You have a professional career
or are a grad student in your final year;
to work and study is why you came here.
But from your bedroom nonstop videos is all I hear.
“I noticed you don’t have any headphones,” I say.
“Here’s a pair you can borrow.” “Umm, yeah, okay.”
YouTube, Vines, and CNN continue to play,
as if Loud and Inconsiderate were part of the price you pay.
We left the house to go on a bike ride.
When we came back the guest ran to hide.
She had used up our supply of Shout and Tide,
although laundry was not a service we provide.
You eat greasy chicken on the bed.
You clog the sink when you brush your head.
You track in mud wherever you tread.
Your carbon footprint is as heavy as lead.
You bang around at two in the morning.
You used our appliances and left a ding.
You lost our house key and its cool ring.
You dirtied the place from floor to ceiling.
You irritated every single pet peeve.
Finally it’s time for you to leave.
Closing the door a great sigh I heave,
the house to ourselves, what a relief!
