Guests in Private Room are Disturbing

[Mahsa10]

TLDR: Please give advice; guests are not technically breaking any explicit house rules, but they are inconsiderate and disturbing our life, and were not clear/honest about their plans when they booked.

My partner and I recently listed our guest bedroom in our flat as a private room. I myself have been a guest in private rooms shared by hosts, and I've generally had a very positive experience, as I myself am a considerate person, and always respect my role as a guest (and not owner) of a home. We are currently on our third guest and have realised this is not the case for everyone, and we should have detailed our house rules more precisely. Our first two guests were great, kind and considerate people who we really enjoyed hosting. However, these current guests have been very tiring and we are counting down the days till they leave (and considering whether we can ask them to leave early). 

Firstly, they asked for a discount. As first time hosts, we didn't know what kind of precedent this would place, so we knocked down the price by 30 pounds. The guests, a couple, told us they would be "out and about" during their 7 night stay, so I didn't bother to inquire about their use of the flat, as we thought they would be busy outside of the house. They arrived on Friday. While during the weekend we were mostly out, we quickly realised they made themselves right at home, buying groceries and cooking very elaborate and smelly meals throughout the weekend. We had listed our kitchen and dishware as an amenity, thinking guests could use the kitchen to warm something up or have a uncomplicate breakfast, as we offer guests cereal and coffees/teas. But we typically ask our guests how they will be using the flat and kitchen before booking, and have rejected guests who told us they were planning on cooking during their stay. We wouldn't have accepted these guests if we knew they would be cooking. They didn't bother to ask or coordinate with us their use of our kitchen. They also messaged us to warn us they were bringing 2-3 guests over for dinner Saturday night -they weren't asking they were telling us. We had to notify them our policy states no events or parties, which seemed to leave them disappointed, as they didn't think this counted as a "event or party".

Additionally, my partner and I both work, and usually go to bed early on weeknights to wake up early around 6:30/7am. Sunday night our guests came home at 5 am, which disturbed our sleep, as the bathroom shares a wall with our bedroom. Come Monday night, when my partner and I got home around 7pm, we had to wait until 9pm for them clear out of our kitchen after cooking another elaborate meal, and even using our Tupperware (we weren't aware Tupperware was included in the use of dishware in our amenities). I was working on our dining room table, and they came out with their food, with a look like I should leave my own table so they can eat (we also have a table in the kitchen they didn't bother to use). Then they decided to go into our kitchen at 1 am to prepare drinks for themselves (they had a bottle of champagne and desert chilling in the fridge), while the girlfriend decided to take her shower at 1:30 am. Both my partner and I woke up in disbelief they were doing this at this hour, leaving us sleepless for the entire night. 

We are a bit at a loss for what to do, as we have another 3 nights with this couple. I've been nice enough to give them things they ask for -the girlfriend wanted nail polish remover and I gave it to her. They even offered us some of their food when they were occupying our kitchen (we didn't take it), but it very much felt like they were in our space and we had to work our lives around them. This was a very strange feeling, given my own behaviour as a airbnb guest in a private room, and our experience with our 2 previous guests. 

Any tips on what to do? I want my guests to have a good experience but we are struggling to make it through this week without going a bit crazy. I feel trapped by these guests and how inconsiderate they are but worry they will leave a bad review if we say anything to them. 

[Sarah977]

@Mahsa10 Heads up- if you had guests already booked when you just changed the ameneties on your listing, the amenities that were offered when they booked have to be honored. You can certainly explain to them that you had some guests who overstepped, taking over the kitchen and keeping you up at all hours, so you just want to make sure they understand that you also need to use your kitchen, get a good night's sleep, etc.

I also host a private room in my home, and all my guests have been quite respectful except for a couple of incidents, which I just cleared up with the guest at the time, with no hard feelings on either side. 

If you are going to host in your home, you need to be friendly but firm with guests as soon as they do something that's not okay.  The longer you let it go on, the more miserable you're going to be and the more liberties guests like this will take. Let the little things go, no one is perfect, but definitely work on not being afraid to say something if necessary. You can't pussyfoot around disrespectful guests in fear of a bad review, and feel trapped in your own home, or home sharing just won't work. Most guests are great, but don't take s**t from the ones who aren't.

[Mahsa10]

Thank you @Sarah977 @Kath9 @Helen350 @Kaylee18 @Ange2 &co for your help. We ended up talking to them directly and they were apologetic and told us their plans had fallen through, why they were in the house more than they thought they would be, and they didn't know taking showers past 1 am would be disturbing. It all went ok after this, until check-out time, which was 11am, after which our cleaner arrives. The girlfriend had to stay behind to take a flight, and ended up staying until 1:30pm, as our cleaner kept on wondering how she was supposed to clean around her....so it was a bit uncomfortable having to ask her to leave. And I'm still floored at how inconsiderate they were, but they were consistently polite to our faces, so it made me feel like a **bleep** in the end. I guess lesson learned for next time. 🙂