Hosts, Can you read between the lines in this review?

[Suzanne302]

I had a guest that was not terrible or bad, (she was very friendly!) but one of those who essentially depletes your resources and is annoying. I plan to give 3 stars in cleanliness and rules, and 5 stars in communication. I will probably hit "yes" to recommend to other hosts, although I'm still debating. And debating what to say for private feedback.

The review will read:

"Guest and her daughter stayed two nights. As first time Airbnb users they did their best to navigate the shared space."

As a host, can you read between the lines on that? Here's what actually happened:

-She ignored my check-in instructions

-She lounged on the couch for about an hour one night talking loudly on the phone

-Her dog peed on my rug (she did come out with the rug immediately to let me know)

-Her dog was *not* friendly and barked a lot (my rules specify well behaved, friendly dogs)

-She left pen marks which stained my bedspread in several spots (still working on getting those out, hopefully with another wash they will)

-Her and her daugher used 5 towels and 4 washcloths for a two night stay

-The bathroom counter was filthy with big globs of gel and toothpaste in several spots

-They said they might see a movie so I offered two free movie passes and said if they didn't use them to simply leave in the room. They  did NOT see a movie, but took the passes

So all in all, not horrible guests and no major infractions, but I did not particulary enjoy having them in my home. Am I doing right by other hosts with the review??

[Sandra126]

Well @Ann72 , it's easier to do for other hosts than myself. But thank you!

[Ian-And-Anne-Marie0]

@Lisa723 

it's important just to state the facts and let other hosts make their own judgment.

On the comforter, if you had needed to replace it, I think it would have been reasonable to ask the guest to pay 50-100% depending on its age. If a guest damages something, to me it's either a cost of doing business, or, if out of the ordinary, I ask for reimbursement of 50-100% depending on the age and condition of the item. Only if I asked and they refused would I consider that bad guest behavior.

I agree entirely on stating the facts.

Problem is, think of the situation… @Suzanne302  is about to write a review about what she considers a disrespectful guest and she has a damaged comforter - thats a fact..? If she raises a dispute over the damage with the guest how might that go? Do you think the guest will welcome the confrontation about the alleged damage or will there be some sort of grievance? How might this affect the guests’ review? Quite probably adversely. I think waiting for the guest to reply about the comforter to consolidate the opinion that the guest was bad wouldn’t be necessary.

This situation is all too familiar. Disrespectful guests, hosts hoping to gain a favourable review and having to choose between being treated somewhere between a damaged comforter and doormat.

I agree.. it's important just to state the facts

[Lisa723]

@Ian-And-Anne-Marie0 yes it can be tricky, but I've requested reimbursement for bedding damaged by dogs several times and I've never had any pushback or retaliation. It doesn't have to be a confrontation or dispute. The worst that happened was a guest asked to have the replaced bedding to keep and I had no problem with that. I understand that @Suzanne302 feels this guest was disrespectful but I'm willing to bet the guest had no such intent and will feel blindsided by the review especially if she said nothing about her expectations during the stay. The guest was probably just living as she does in her own home and didn't understand the host's expectations.

[Ian-And-Anne-Marie0]

@Lisa723 I can see the guest might be blindsided, but there isn't just one such incident, theres multiple incidents. Claiming for third party damage - a dog - is not the same as first party damage by a person, its so easy to shift blame onto a dog and it be an acceptable claim. An allegation of personal  damage would be taken much more seriously. @Suzanne87 has already stated her expectations in her house rules and any decent reasonable person should not reek havoc when they are a guest in another persons home, they should be on their best behaviour. $40-50 a night doesn't give them ownership, they're sharing and need to be respectful.

'

If you read the facts, there are many transgressions. If each one was to be 'mentioned' there'd be some serious nagging needed. @Suzanne302 has avoided that pretty well but it doesn't change the facts that they all happenned. As @Suzanne302 said, if the guest was in a self contained let she would have free reign with nobody pointing out expectations. It should just not be neccessary.

Dogs damaging bedding and rugs and pee'ing and barking... all the more reason to just not accept them.

There might be reason to reflect on house rules to specify expectation levels but how far should you really need to go?

[Suzanne302]

@Lisa723 

That is really the heart of it. I believe she will be blindsided because she probably doesn't understand her behavior was disrespectful/careless, ill intent or not. That is what makes it difficult to word the review. A single one of the behaviors on the list wouldn't faze me and I'd just brush it off. It's when you start adding up all the "minor" infractions, it really bothers me.

Yeah, I STILL haven't written the review because I'm still trying to draft what to say!

[Sarah977]

@Suzanne302   I think it's possible to write a review which makes it clear that while this person was nice, friendly and appreciative, they weren't really suited to staying in someone's home.

Talking loudly on the phone in shared spaces is self-absorbed and rude, the dog peeing inside is totally unacceptable (I've had dogs all my life, and I've never had a dog who would do their business inside the house, even if they were in an unfamiliar place), Using up that many towels is needlessly wasteful and without a thought for how much laundry they were creating for you. And ink on the comforter?

I know everyone has a different tolerance level, and I let some things go that guests do, because it really wouldn't be possible to host if I were super rigid and intolerant of others' habits. For instance, a messy bathroom counter with toothpaste, etc. on it wouldn't bother me- I'm going to clean it regardless if a guest left it looking clean or not.

But the other things you describe- I'd definitely not want her as a guest. 

I know it's hard when a guest is nice, friendly, praises you and your offering. But being engaging on a personal level isn't the same thing as being a good guest and I don't think someone just gets a pass for disrespectful behavior because they're friendly.

[Suzanne302]

Okay everyone! I've pondered all your adivce. Is this helpful to future hosts without making me sound like I'm being petty?!

@Sarah977 @Ian-And-Anne-Marie0 @Lisa723 @Sandra126 @Ann72 (and everyone else I can't tag...)

"Guest and her daughter were very friendly guests but had some issues navigating the etiquette of a shared space and a few house rules were broken. There was a loud phone conversation after 9pm in the shared space, lights were left on when leaving for the day as well as overnight, and the back door was left unlocked. The bed comforter had multiple ink stains. My check-out cleaning routine took a bit longer than usual. I believe she may have underestimated the socialization skills of her dog as the dog did not seem to enjoy being around new people and also peed on a rug in the room. She allowed the dog on the couch, which is also against house rules."

[Ian-And-Anne-Marie0]

@Suzanne302 That seems fair to me.

[Paula1598]

In 5 years hosting, we have had a handfu of guests, who we do not want back again! " The new "would you host them again" button is helpful.

Sometimes it is just their disrespect for our home, treating us like a hotel, or even because they are just "weird!"

A guy here at the moment who helped himself to our garden yesterday, sat there oblivious to the fact that he was looking straight into our private rooms!

Nothing horrendous, but he is getting the "be gone button!"

But what about warning other hosts?

I think an international "review sign" is needed to identify oddballs, without actually needing to outline the difficulty in full.

"  Thank you for your custom" perhaps and nothing else? Or " Thankyou for booking ........." and nothing else?

Perhaps such a warning review already exists?

Be glad to hear your thoughts?

Paula1598

[Ann72]

@Paula1598  It’s hard to come up with one universal phrase.  I have said “So-and-so stayed three days.”  But another host would need to compare that to my reviews of other guests to see the marked difference in enthusiasm.  So that’s what I would recommend - look at a host’s other reviews.

Unfortunately, many hosts say positive things even for a bad guest.