I’m not concierge

[Kristina192]

I recently hosted a guest who made me nuts. As soon as the booking went through, I started getting the inquiries. First, it was “Send food recommendations”. Then it was- where do I go for a haircut, yoga class? Is the pool going to be free for just me? I’m assuming I’m on my own to get a ride from the airport?”

but then I got the one that made me snap:

“I just arrived. My luggage was delayed. Need assistance to get it delivered to your place. Phone not working. Here’s the phone number and the record locator. Thanks”

It was all so entitled. I’m happy to help you but don’t just talk to me like I’m your servant. So I wrote back “I’m not a hotel”. I should have been more diplomatic. I feel bad about it. But come on. And when he first booked he mentioned how he just broke up with his girlfriend and needed a chance to get away and I remembered this other guest I had who started this way and ended up having a meltdown in my home over it.

What do you all say to guests to let them understand your boundaries?  How do you handle needy guests? And how do you weed them out?

thanks guys for listening. 

[Amy-and-Brian0]

My favorite is the long list of questions from an inquiry that we answer in detail that then turns into a message from Airbnb saying "So N So no longer needs accomodations." That one really grinds my gears.
Also great is the ones who ask "Do you have [insert item or feature here]?" where the item or feature is in the listing description, the title and our pictures. It's like REALLY? Did you even bother to look at the listing at all?

[Kristina192]

“Do you have a pool?”

“Um... My listing is called Have a Big Pool! “ 

Lol! Sometimes it’s maddening!And when you write them a novel just to be extra accommodating and they cancel or never say thank you! 

I guess its just just part of the deal. Thank you for replying. Reading these is healing for a sometimes burnt-out host!

[Ann72]

@Kristina192  Gah!  How annoying!!!

For the Can you recommend questions, pre-booking, I tell them everything is in the guidebook available upon booking.

For booked guests, I send them the guidebook a week or two before their visit, along with the house manual and driving directions.

For everything else, it’s tempting to send them a link to a site called Let Me Google That For You 🙂  https://lmgtfy.com

[Kristina192]

I laughed so hard at this. That link is genius. I can’t believe it. Lol! Invented for hosts! Thanks for replying!!

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

LOL @Ann72 

 Include Internet Explainer

😄

[Ange2]

@Ann72     Great link. But the next obstacle is that they must click it.  How's this for clueless.

I had two guests who turned up 4 hours late, they got lost! and they didn't have a phone that worked here.

They were annoyed on arrival and said they had printed out the instructions and angrily shoved them under my nose, saying useless!

What they printed out was this:

Six ways to get here from the airport  - 'click this link',

Walking directions  'click this link'

Nearest subways ' click this link'

They hadn't bothered to click the links, they had just printed out the page with 'click this link'

Clueless — off the charts.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Ange2 

OMG~!!!!!!!!!! Hilarious~~~

[Rosemarie9]

I nearly fell off my chair laughing! I've had a couple of these clueless types too!

[Ann72]

@Ange2  I can’t!  That’s too funny!

How people like that get through a day of their lives, I don’t know.

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

looool  @Ange2 

😄 😄 😄 unbelievable hahaha

a few groups of my guests ended up on the same address as ours but in another city :))))

[Inna22]

@Branka-and-Silvia0  A tour guide  came to pick us up for a tour in Jerusalem once. except he went to Tel Aviv instead. He kept telling us on the phone: do you see this parking lot across the street? We say: yes! Do you see the red car? yes! I’m in front of it. And he was not there. It was the same address, parking lot across the street and the red car! Except no tour guide 

[Sarah977]

@Ange2  I send my guests a map to my place as it's hard to find. I always suggest to them that they print it out, or save it to somewhere in their phone that they'll be able to access without being connected to wifi or a cell connection, in case they find their phone doesn't work here for some reason. It's worked so far. 

But if they print out something without all the pertinent info, well, you can't fix stupid.

[Elena87]

@Kristina192 

Last week...

Guest '' hello, I've just ordered theatre tickets online and the courier will deliver them in the next 3-4 hours to the apartment. Can you receive the tickets, we are just going out now for the day''

Me '' I'm busy but can get someone to wait in on your behalf''

Guest '' great''

Me '' Will be twenty nine dollars per hour''

Guest '' ummm.... let me rethink''

[James2566]

I had a guest message me at 8pm on Christmas night saying she wasn't getting through to any taxis, so she'll need me to arrange a car for her to (go to this bar) as soon as possible please. I ignored it. 

I recently added to my thanks for booking instructions sent a couple days after booking: 

We have a thorough digital guide with our personal recommendations at www...... If you need more help planning your stay, such as assistance arranging transportation or making reservations, we recommend hiring [Platinum Concierge Barbados]. 

This seems to have set expectations for how much I will help beyond my extremely thorough digital guide.

[Laura2592]

@Kristina192 when I have gotten guests inquiring like this I say:

"Thanks for your questions. Unfortunately I don't think my space is a fit for you as I am not sure I can provide the type of service you are looking for. Best of luck in finding a great place on Airbnb!"

If they are staying with me I trot out the old "I am so sorry about X (your luggage)! Unfortunately that isn't something we are set up to help with. Please do let me know when you get it resolved."

There is nothing wrong with reminding a guest that Airbnb is a self catering space by and large. And in their review "This guest had several requests that are more suited to a professional concierge. Communicative and x (clean, polite, whatever) but our self-catering space was not a great fit. Recommended to hotels and on site hosts who provide additional services such as luggage assistance, transportation, etc."