I’m not concierge

[Kristina192]

I recently hosted a guest who made me nuts. As soon as the booking went through, I started getting the inquiries. First, it was “Send food recommendations”. Then it was- where do I go for a haircut, yoga class? Is the pool going to be free for just me? I’m assuming I’m on my own to get a ride from the airport?”

but then I got the one that made me snap:

“I just arrived. My luggage was delayed. Need assistance to get it delivered to your place. Phone not working. Here’s the phone number and the record locator. Thanks”

It was all so entitled. I’m happy to help you but don’t just talk to me like I’m your servant. So I wrote back “I’m not a hotel”. I should have been more diplomatic. I feel bad about it. But come on. And when he first booked he mentioned how he just broke up with his girlfriend and needed a chance to get away and I remembered this other guest I had who started this way and ended up having a meltdown in my home over it.

What do you all say to guests to let them understand your boundaries?  How do you handle needy guests? And how do you weed them out?

thanks guys for listening. 

[Sarah977]

@Kristina192   Oh goodness. I've only gotten one of those. She sent me a list of 10 numbered questions, then, when I answered those, she sent another 10. The one that totally floored me was "For business and entrepreneur hubs, where do you suggest?"

This is a little fishing village turned beach vacation tourist trap. I don't know where she thought she was coming.

Then, and this was rich, she had booked another place in town for the first 3 days, then mine for the following 3. She messaged me at 3AM from the first place she was staying her first night in town to say that there was loud music somewhere nearby and she couldn't sleep. Luckily I turn my ringer off at night. When I saw the message in the morning, and what time it had been sent, I was speechless.

When she was ready to move over to my place, I offered to come pick her up with her luggage, it was only a 5 minute drive for me. She never even said "This is so nice of you to pick me up", which all my other guests have done when I pick them up at the bus stop.

She was actually a good guest, quiet, friendly and clean and gone at a course most of the day.

At one point I let herknow how Airbnb rates hosts on the star ratings, telling her they punished us for anything less than a 5 star review (I always say how ridiculous I think this is, but that there's nothing hosts can do about it) Yet she was the only guest who has left less than a 5 star rating- on location- even though one of the questions she asked was how far my place is from where her course was being held, which I told her accurately- a 20 minute walk. Turns out she expected that I should have informed her to bring a flashlight, even though she knew I lived out in the countryside, and that her course ended after dark. And she could have taken a cab for $5.

Your guest sounds like he needs a lot of hand-holding or is lonely. On all those questions h asked, i would have just told him that you can recommend some places for haircut, yoga, etc when he arrives. 

You're right, you should have been more diplomatic than "I'm not a hotel", but I understand he'd pushed too far. I would probably have said something like- "Oh, too bad. Well, just come on over and you can phone about your luggage delivery arrangement when you get here. "

I don't know what to advise about how to weed out guests like this, and like my above guest, she really wasn't a bad guest in terms of her stay. There's all kinds of people out there, and unles their behavior is offensive, rather than just irritating, I gues we just ahve to roll with it.

In terms of boundaries, "I'm so sorry, I have some plans for today, I won't be able to help you with that", "I'm not a yoga person myself, perhaps you could try Googling yoga studios around here" sort of thing.

[Zappa0]

I actually set up a website with FAQs. Videos. Packing tips. A blog. Once they book I point them at that. 

Had a guest ask me to go get some things from the store for him (also..I'm the cheapest option on our tourist filled island. ) I just blinked and gave him directions to the store. 

[Kristina192]

Sarah!

Thanks so much! You sound so lovely and were very kind to pick that guest up from her previous accommodations. Just for that she should have given you five stars! 

I don’t live where the guest was staying. I actually live in another country. I have a housekeeper and building staff to help me with cleaning, check in and any maintenance or safety issue.

I have the feeling he just wanted me to call because he didn’t want to use his cell phone internationally. He was telling me he had issues with his phone but he was using it to message me?? Or maybe he was tired from traveling and irritated about his delayed bag. But regardless, the way he asked me about the luggage and other questions is what got to me. If he had been less assuming and more gracious for some guidance I wouldn’t have been upset. I would have been happy to assist. Though looking back on it, I’m glad I didn’t get involved with his luggage- It needed to go through customs and I didn’t need to be involved in that.

Thanks again! You sound like such a hospitable and warm person. 

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Kristina192 

I haven't had guests like that.......... but I have has a few potential inquiries where the tone of questions were quite entitled. I usually answer the question with a question of my own while not providing a reply to their question, and use my own entitled and haughty tone. Most guests I found distasteful usually ended up NOT booking with me........ so I think I'm doing something right.

Just because they ask doesn't mean you have to answer or put up with rude, entitled behavior to the point you're so upset you snap and end up saying something like “I’m not a hotel”. As a host, I think it's really important to not take things personally and just be a bit aloof.

To the yoga, haircut or resturant questions, I would have said something like...... "well that all kinda depends on your personal preference, price range and a lot of other stuff so I'm not sure I can help you at this point. Maybe do a google search and if you have any "specific" questions, I might be able to give advice from a local's point of view but that would be about it." For the luggage thing, I would have said "I'm sure you can deal with your lost luggage after you check in. If necessary I'll help you make the call after you arrive. I'll expect you here sometime around X-o'clock. Please let me know if you are further delayed." For the ride from the airport comment, I'd probably say.....  "If you need me to, I can look up and give you the number for a limo service or taxi service. Public transportation details are on my listing description so you should read that first."

[Kristina192]

Thanks so much! I love your responses to things! Very professional and smart! It’s so true- being aloof is very important. I try and sometimes I just get a guest that hits a nerve. Probably because I’m not confident it isnt going to escalate during their stay-. I was worried this guest was going to be an issue and then he arrives and instructs me to call customs and the airline about his bag! I got tense and I shouldn’t have.

i love your boundaries and your vibe. And it seems to be working for you because the wrong kinds of guests are staying away. Thanks again! 

[Gordon0]

I have a manual in the room and a fairly extensive pre-stay note with recommendations etc. If I get the feeling somebody is going to become too needy I suggest (in a friendly but 'OK, enough is enough' tone) 'everything is available on the internet these days, isn't...why not give it a go and see what comes up?'

On a similar note to yours, @Kristina192, I've had a lost luggage request for help too. My response; 'Would love to help, but a bit tied up. Hope you are reunited with it soon'.

Hasn't backfired yet! 

[Kristina192]

Thank you!! “Would love to help but I’m a bit tied up!” - Ugh why didn’t I think of that! Great response!

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Kristina192 

we had just a few ( 2-3 ) guests who asked too many questions prior arrival. I had time so I patiently answered and was very curious what the next question will be 😄 😄  All except 1 turn out to be perfect, well informed and well-prepared guests. One girl was very entitled (and she was a yoga student as well :))

We are very well prepared and have all kind of brochures, books, guides and maps, list of recommended places and tourist agencies, excursions, leaflets for all kinds of services, instructions how and where to purchase a ticket for the national park, etc.... and it is all available in the apartment. We really minimized such questions.

We also offer to organize their transfer from the airport (order a limo with the driver) or suggest to pick up a taxi at the location XX. This way we help them to arrive on time, don't get lost and don't keep us waiting 🙂

[Kristina192]

Thank you!!! You sound like a very well prepared host! You go above and beyond what I probably do!

i do have a welcome binder and did send him a copy before his stay. I also send detailed information about getting a taxi - since it is in another country. And I actually do have the name of a private yoga instructor but I didn’t give it to him because I have a bad feeling this guy may have a boundary issue and might have been inappropriate to her when alone in a lesson.  

Just a feeling.

Mainly I just didn’t like his tone about things and I let it get to me- “Hoping to have the pool to myself?... Send food recommendations!... Here’s my record locator, thanks!...” I felt like he expected me to offer him a bell 🛎. Lol! Thank you again!!! 

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

oh, I totally understand you @Kristina192  I was also very irritated by the tone of my yoga-girl-guest 🙂

[Zappa0]

Hey...what's the weather like there? 

love that one. Typenin "weather in xxx" to google. Your obviously on the internet already.;)

[Kristina192]

I know! And then if I offer any information pertaining to the weather- It’s been unusually cold and wind lately, bring a jacket for your shoulders- they ignore me. 

Lol!

Thanks again!! 

[Debra300]

I usually get the concierge type questions in reservation inquiries, and not after booking. Usually, the questions were regarding transportation or the distance from my place to another location.  I used to provide a lot of details in my answers, and then not get any response.  Nowadays, I refer them to Google maps.

The other common inquiries are about things that have been answered in the listing details, which the person didn't read.  For those, I may reply that the information can be found in section XX of the main description.

[Kristina192]

I hate that- it’s right there on the description and in the arrival information AND in the welcome binder! BUT they ask anyway! They can’t be bothered to read it.

I like the way you phrased it- that information can be found in section ... of my main description.

Very professional! 

Thansk for taking the time to reply!