Leaving a bad review for a guest, have you done it?

[Shawna46]

I have been hosting since April and have had really good luck with guests.  A little over a week ago I had a person book for 3 nights about a week in advance for him and his brother (two young guys).  He was coming from out of town to write some exams.  He said he smoked which I said was fine and told him to do it out back.  After the first night I went out back on my way to work and noticed one of my patio chairs was ripped.  They sat on it without a cushion but didn't say anything.  They also left cigarette butts on the ground right next to a very large butt can that would be impossible to miss.  I messaged him about the chair very nicely and he apologized and said to send him an invoice, that he "was going to mention it".  I said it was an accident, not to worry about it and please don't sit in another chair without a cushion.  That night (night 2) I heard them come and go a few times slamming the door around 10pm (I live upstairs from the basement suite in my house).  I thought nothing of it.  The next morning on my way to work I noticed the door was open slightly which I found to be weird.  I closed the door and messaged him when I got to work.  I didn't lock it because I didn't know if he was there or whether he had keys.  I also gave him my parking spot and parked on the street but noticed his jeep wasn't there when I closed the door.  Long story short, I ended up texting him that night after not hearing back all day to ask if everything was ok.  He got back to me to say yes, they decided to leave the night before and nothing was wrong, the place was amazing and he'd give me 5 stars.  He said he is sorry he didn't tell me and the keys were in the suite.  Once downstairs I saw they had left dishes in the sink, food in pizza boxes, the pullout couch still in the bed position.  They also had unplugged my cable from the tv which took us a bit to figure out and there were cigarette ashes on the toilet seat which means he smoked in my house.  I was livid.   He left my house wide open all night which is one thing but to leave the place a mess and not tell he was leaving while I am parking on the street really rubbed me the wrong way.  I haven't left a review yet nor has he and the 14 days will expire in a few more days.  I keep telling myself I got paid for 3 nights and he only stayed for one and to just let it go.  I worry because he knows where I live and said he would be back in town every 2 weeks for more exams so that's always in the back of my mind.  I was thinking of just saying "bad experience" and leave it at that.  Anyone else have an opinion?  He had 4 other 5 star ratings which is weird.  I kept expecting him to say there was a family emergency but apparently the place was fantastic and he just decided to leave early.  

[Barbara1798]

I have had a slightly similar experience .... let it go .... they are young and stupid and still need to learn. I left a very plain review .... the beauty lies in what you don’t write and mentioned my personal upset in the the private bit with a comment how they could do things better next time 

[Shawna46]

Thanks for that Barbara.  I am inclined to agree.  There definitely was an element of young and stupid but certainly not a bad person.  I couldn't truthfully give anything more than a 1 star in all 3 categories (house rules, communication and cleanliness) so I will stick with my original thought and just let the 14 days expire.  This was a weird one but at the end of the day, no harm was truly done so it could have been much much worse.

[Pete69]

My 2 worst guests (and only bad guests) have been early 20's. I wish there was a way to just block people 23 and under from booking.

[Kath9]

@Shawna46, yep, just sound a bit young and dumb. But please do review them, because it just defeats the purpose of the review system if you don't. As I've said a million times before, reviews are all we hosts have to go by. If you don't leave a review, they will never know their behaviour was not ok and will just do it again. I would wait until the very last hour to write a review and say something like:

X and his friend were polite but failed to observe a number of house and left the place very messy with unwashed dishes, food left out and cigarette butts on the ground. They checked out early without informing me, leaving the door ajar all night. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend x as a guest. 

Then click on 'would not host again' to prevent him from booking with you. 

I understand your reluctance due to him knowing where you live, but do you think he would really be likely to do anything to get revenge? 

[Shawna46]

Thank you!  Not so much revenge but kids are kids and I think about stuff like keying of my car.  That kind of thing.  It's very unlikely but it is the challenge of being a host when you leave a review for someone that lives a few hours away and will be back in town.

[G-C-R-M0]

@Shawna46 - I would not just leave it, but I won't go crazy about this.  They just sound ignorant, young, and dumb. We've all been there, though lucky for me I have not been all 3 at the same time. 🙂
I'd encourage you to still leave a review, it definitely won't be 5 stars, but it probably shouldn't be 1 star either. It's somewhere in between.

I've had similar experience, and from that experience, I learned that airbnb is willing to compensate you only if there's actual "cost" from damages incurred, so unfortunately with regards to breaking rules airbnb (at least to me) will say they won't reimburse me for anything, not even if the place smells bad due to smoke (I had someone smoked joint in mine).  I'd suggest to quantify any "loss" you have, that way you can argue your points to airbnb succinctly.

My 2c.

[Lauris-and-Gene0]

It upsets me that any of us could end up accepting a request from rude guests who do damage to our property when it could have been avoided if only previous hosts had warned us by leaving honest reviews. I know it's hard to leave a bad review for a bunch of different reasons but feel that we hosts have to stick together by telling the truth about our guests. 

On the age thing, I had to laugh at the idea of not wanting to host young people. A while ago there was a whole thread about people not wanting to host older people, a group that would include me. Apparently we are incapable of managing electronic locks and highly demanding and dependent! We have hosted people from every age range and have been very fortunate that all of them have been good guests. I'm not sure what causes rude, irresponsible behavior in some people, but it's not age.

[Kaylee18]

@Shawna46   I've had similar guests who also had 6 reviews that were all 5 stars. I left an honest review, giving both the good and bad about him and his friends. Don't feel bad leaving a "bad" review if it's an honest one. Other hosts need a heads up about what you experienced during their stay.    🙂

[Sarah977]

@Shawna46  I'll add my voice to encouraging you to leave a brief, honest review. It sisn't weird that he had 4 other 5* ratings when you yourself are questioning leaving a negative review- I imagine those other hosts also felt reluctant to leave a bad review, so you got stuck with an undesireable guest.

I think you should indeed let it go as far as being fussed that he left you a big cleanup, since the 3 days you got paid for covered that extra cleaning. But please don't let it go as far as the review. (the guest can't see the star ratings you leave for them, so I'd leave 1* for cleanliness, myself).

There are things you can say in a review that aren't really negative, but get the point across, both to other hosts and to guests. Like "XX was a personable and polite guest, and communication pre-arrival was fine, however a higher maturity level is needed as far leaving a mess behind himself and paying attention to his surroundings in order to be a welcome guest. Door to unit was left unlocked and open on guest's departure, cigarette butts were thrown on ground, despite there being a can provided for ashes and butts." You are giving the guest an opportunity to consider his behavior and behave in a more mature manner next time, which, believe it or not, some guests do take to heart.

[Shawna46]

Thanks everyone for your feedback.  I really appreciate your tips on what to actually say in the review and completely get the desire to have us all stick together.  Everything you all said makes sense which is exactly why I posted here, to hear from you.  Thanks for taking the time to help me think this through.  I've flip flopped a number of times and I think I have a way to leave a review similar to what Kath and Sarah have suggested.  I don't want to completely destroy his chances of booking again but all of those little things he didn't adhere to and maybe didn't think about did affect me and my home.  Without mentioning it he won't learn.  And I keep telling myself that if the tables were turned and I did a horrible job hosting (which I wouldn't do) a guest likely wouldn't hesitate to leave a bad review for me.  Luckily I haven't encountered that yet.  Touch wood.