@Ute42
Huma: What time would you like to check in, bearing in mind that check in is from 3-9pm?
Guest: We will check in at 9am. Ha, ha.
Huma: Erm, no, that won't be possible. The previous guests don't have to check out until 11am and then the house needs to be cleaned. The earliest I can do is 3pm.
Guest: So, we will check in at 10am then. Ha, ha.
Huma: No. Sorry, you can check in at 3pm earliest. I cannot accept your booking until you confirm this.
Guest: Okay, we will respect your check in time and come at 3pm. Ha, ha. (confirms this twice).
Huma: Great. I will expect you at 3pm then.
Guest (at 9am on day of arrival): Guess where we are, ha, ha? We are buying breakfast at Sainsbury's.
Huma: No response.
Guest (at 9.15am): Guess what we are doing now, ha, ha? We are eating breakfast in your local park. Ha, ha.
Huma: No response.
Guest (at 9.30am): We are outside. Can we check in now?
Huma: NO. You can check in at the agreed time of 3pm. I would suggest you do not waste the next few hours of your time but go and do some sightseeing instead.
Guest: Ok.
3pm: guests arrive.
Guests (at 3.05pm): We need to do our laundry now.
Huma: Sorry, NO. Short term guests are not allowed to use my washing machine. It's stated on the listing. I can do it for you for a fee.
End of conversation. No more demands. No review received.
And yes, this guy did end almost every sentence with 'ha, ha!'.