Guests staying in their room all the time

[Jeanette37]

Does any host find it creepy/suspicious that some guests choose to stay in their room all the time they're there?  In my place, I'm there most of the time and I have the main room as the guest one with shared facilities so of course this wouldn't apply where the room is detached or they have the place to themselves etc.  My current guest is here for a couple of days' work and he's brought his wife with him.  For the whole time she hasn't come out of the room apart from needing to use the toilet and bathroom and it creeps me out!  It's a nuisance too as I have clothes in there I need to access and I'm waiting patiently for them to leave (which at the time of writing is in about 2 hours' time) so I can get them and do the obvious clean-up.  One of the first things I often notice is that they choose to close the window (I live in south east regional mainland Australia which means that it gets cold in winter).  Arrrrrgh!  I can't stand the subsequent stale smell that builds up as a result and the first thing I want to do when cleaning up is to open the window and leave it open permanently!  If it gets shut usually by the next guest then it starts all over again!

[Brian2036]

@Jeanette37 :

Perhaps they are just trying to be considerate of your privacy, or they are exhausted, ill, germaphobic or antisocial.

 I think you should remove all of your personal belongings from the guest bedroom.

[Sarah977]

@Jeanette37  As a home share host myself, I can relate to what you are talking about. I only had one guest like that- if he wasn't out and about, he was up in his room, which has an ensuite bathroom, and he only came downstairs to get drinking water or retreive a beer he'd put in the fridge. Personally, I prefer the type of guests who are easygoingly sociable and don't squirrel themselves away. So I found myself breathing a little sigh of relief when he left, unlike when sociable guests leave.

He was perfectly pleasant and polite when we crossed paths but I could tell he wasn't that socially comfortable. 

If you are going to home-share, you will get guests like this occasionally- they are either very private, or shy, or may be on the autism spectrum and not good at social interaction. Or they feel they don't want to intrude. But if they aren't objectionable in other ways, it's just something to take in stride. 

It's quite possible that the guy in your case booked the place, while the woman is really shy or private, and isn't comfortable with a home-share situation, but it was a budgeting issue that they couldn't afford a private home or apt.

I second Brian's advice that there shouldn't be anything personal in the guest room that you need to access. And you shouldn't be going in the guest room anyway, even if the guests are out, unless it's an emergency. Guests have a right to privacy, even in a home share. There's nothing of mine in my guest room.

As far as the window being closed goes, guests might normally live somewhere that leaving the window open is a security risk, so if it isn't where you live, let guests know that and ask them to at least leave it open a bit for air circulation. But you really can't dictate to guests things like that- all you can do is ask.

Yes, the room might need airing out afterwards- use a fan in front of an open window, set so it sucks air out, rather than blowing air in. Bowls of vinegar set around after the guests leave also help to absorb odor.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Jeanette37 

I also hosted guests in my private guest room who spent a lot of time holed up in the room, not going out, not using shared spaces but as long as they respect my house rules I try not to care 🙂

As other hosts have mentioned, I agree you should not leave personal items in the guest room, and unless you clearly communicate to guests in advance that you (host) MIGHT have to enter the guest room during their absence, you shouldn't enter the guest room for the duration of a booking unless it's an emergency. 

[Anthony608]

I operate my Airbnb pretty much as a professional motel at this point.  The rooms are in an upstairs area of the house, separate and away from my main living and working area which is an office in the back of the house.  I don't bother the guests during their stay and never ask them about their business, i.e. what are they doing in the area, how was their day, etc .  I do check in and ask them how the room is, but that is it.

Perhaps it seems cold, but I have learned the *very* hard way these people are strangers in my home for a few days and I am not their friend.  In the very beginning of my hosting experience, now some three years ago, I was very naive, thought that I could be friends with my guests, and even tried to keep in touch with a few after they left.  I learned this was a horrible mistake, my intentions were badly misunderstood.  Now I greet the guests, check in on them as to their stay, and make sure I am available for any issues.

So, no, I don't concern myself at all about their activities and how long they are in the room during the day.  I should also add this type of mindset is very helpful when it comes to people trying to arrive early and leave late.  Our door lock is electronic now on a timer, everything happens automatically, and there is little chance of a guest trying to be friendly, asking me for a favor, etc and let them sneak in early or stay a bit late.  My reply is simply that everything is automatic, we have fees if they wish to arrive or depart at different times, and that is it.  I have found the pros of hosting this way far far outweigh the cons.

[Sarah977]

@Anthony608  Some home-share hosts do follow your model- whatever works for you and the guests is fine. 

My experience of home-sharing has been different and I have a lot of mutually enjoyable interaction with my guests, none of whom have tried to take advantage of me or my property in any way. 

If they want to stay in their room and not interact, that's okay with me, too.

[Anthony608]

@Sarah977- I recently had an awkward exchange with a guest who had left a very low review, for no apparent reason, and finally I got an answer after I had messaged them as to why. 

The guest had never used AirBNB before and apparently had thought I was going to socialize with them, have dinner with them possibly even cook for them, and take them out to show them the sights of Washington DC.  They spoke of "we wanted to get to know you better" and "we thought you would spend time with us".  I was in the house of course, but I work during the day from an office in the off limits area of the home and generally, as we discussed here, leave guests alone unless they have questions or matters about their room.

Social distancing not withstanding (our check-in guide *clearly* says due to the pandemic we keep a distance from all guests, don't get close and don't shake hands) I think the guest had some very unrealistic expectations.  I know few hosts who would cook for guests, unless its mentioned specifically in the listing, and even fewer who would take guests out sightseeing.  I (politely) shared this with the guest since they had answered my feedback request and advised them most hosts would not engage in the activities they had been expecting.

[Sarah977]

@Anthony608  The original idea, or at least the ethos that Airbnb tried to project, is "live like a local", and home share listings were a much higher percentage of the total listings. Guests definitely did expect interaction with the host. Chatting about local attractions, telling them about the best little hole-in-the-wall restaurants tourists would never know about, maybe inviting guests along for an outing, sharing a bottle of wine in the evening. Guests liked the  idea of feeling like they had a new friend in an unfamiliar place.

While there are now many guests who book a private room home-share simply because it's the most inexpensive option, there are still many guests who book a home share for the original feeling of belonging. 

This doesn't mean they expect hosts to cook for them, or that it's okay for the guest to monopolize the host's time, being available to sit around and chat all day over tea, but it would make them just as uncomfortable and they would find it just as creepy for the host to be running their rental as if it were an impersonal motel, and not having any interaction with them aside from a greeting in passing, as it does for home share hosts to have guests who never emerge from their room except to scurry out to use the bathroom.

I would really suggest that you make it clear in your listing info, which you don't,  that you have pretty much no interaction with guests and that they shouldn't expect anything beyond a place to lay their head and use the bathroom and cook. 

Personally, I would find it really uncomfortable to book a home share that just felt like I'd booked an entire place, but with the host and other guests around, but acting like strangers.

As for Covid precautions, regardless of whether you are in the same room at the same time, or stay 2 meters apart, if someone in the house is Covid positive, the virus will be everywhere in your home. An MIT study found virus particles indoors 60 ft. away from where they were released.

[Anthony608]

@Sarah977- Its one of those things you have to ask is it worth having an official notice in house rules not to expect heavy socialization with the host or out-of-home activities.  I've had maybe three people out of two hundred ever really make an issue of this.   In fact, in the very beginning of my hosting I actually had some guests say the opposite, that they felt I was intruding asking them questions about themselves and their business in the area.

The situation that just happened, that was a much larger issue with someone who hadn't used AirBNB before.  There was another issue with them, they had left the home at 8AM and had left the coffee pot on.  I discovered this at around 10, two hours later, the coffee starting to collate in the bottom and the glass so hot on the pot it was about to crack.  I cleaned out the coffee pot and the couple came back at around 1 (which would have been five hours after leaving the pot on) and acted generally offended that I had cleaned the pot and later said they "thought I was mad".

I think you have a unique listing and probably don't get he same type of people I do.  Villa in Mexico not the same as an overnight stop in Maryand to and from various cities on the east coast, which is what I typically see.  Still, I agree with your initial point about what AirBNB was originally intended to be and how some think it should always remain like that.