I am sorry for your loss @Pamela1218
The best way to get a refund is to claim on your travel insurance.
The reason for your cancellation is not covered as a penalty free cancellation by Airbnb. They do offer travel insurance for guests so that you will be covered in these sad circumstances.
What was the cancellation policy you booked under?
Have you asked the host politely if they will refund you if they are able to rebook any of the dates.?
And please if you want experienced hosts to help you can you avoid being rude to those like @Kia272 who offered useful feedback. It's not fair to take your frustrations out on those taking the time to offer you advice.