How to handle those difficult reviews!

[Robin4]

I have posted this comment on another thread but have felt that, due to problems experienced by new hosts when it comes to how they should handle the review of difficult guests I would open a new thread.

This is a long post but a lot of time and thought has gone into it....We all learn every day, and as you continue to host you will become very proficient at sorting out 'the wheat from the chaff' but if you take note of these points I am sure this post will stand you in good stead!

Reviews cannot be taken frivilously because they are the centrepiece of the ABB platform. But on the other hand we are reminded at every opportunity that anything less than that 5 stars is not good enough...and for that reason we 'pussyfoot' around issues for fear what we say may come back to bite us in the bum!

And if we start rating our guests as per our experience.......ABB will find a way to remove it!

From seeing thousands of these posts I think I have come up with a protocol for reviewing.

There will be some hosts and guests that will fall outside of the common boundaries of accepted behaviour! There are times when police will need to be involved and even more times when help from Airbnb is required and these incidents will require immediate action, but this will only ever be the case for a handfull of bookings over your hosting experience, particularly as you become more experienced in spotting problem guests before accepting! So what I am saying will not be relevant to those situations. What I am talking about are those hostings where rules were broken, personality clashes existed, and there may have been a different perspective between host and guest. If you are concerned about what to write, try the following! And if the reviews do differ wildly keep these points in mind for your review response:

1/. Never write a review until you have had two nights sleep after the departure of the guest! There are many little things that will annoy you enough to make a comment when they are a fresh experience, but which, with time, will mellow and can be appraised in a more objective way.

2/. Always write a review as though you have been asked to do it for someone else. 'YOU' will see things as being 'bleedin obvious' because it's your 'turf'! Another set of eyes will see a legitimate reason why the guest did (or felt) what they did!

3/. As I have said before, make yourself a nice drink, leave your emotion out in the garage, or out in the barn before you sit down at that keyboard. What you write at this point will stay with you long after you have forgotten about that belligerent 'turkey'! It will stay with you as long as you host and....it cannot be removed! We have all said things we wish we could take back! When it's in a review it is 'set in stone'....there is no going back!

4/. Tell the community what you feel about this guest, but don't give the guest a reason to resent you. As I said in a comment in another thread, you can make them feel guilty by carefully selecting your words but still finish by wishing them well in future. This way the balance of nature is restored....you made your point, but you have also said 'no hard feelings'!

And if their review is a stinker:

5/. Never get into a 'he said/she said' slogging match with a guest. You will always loose, and you will make yourself look petty and a difficult person, in yourself, to deal with. Remain aloof and always assure the guest you value their contribution because after all, the only way you can become a better host is to take notice of what others say. Don't apologise, but tell the guest some things are beyond your control.....like, how much cloud cover may have been present on the day! But tell them that their comments will be taken on board and acted on.

Many guests will form an opinion of you by how you carry yourself in the review process....you can be seen as a diplomatic person with great hosting skills........or you can be seen as a 'tough nut to crack' !

Sorry this is so drawn out but, it is a major issue on the forum ....I am not saying I am the review sage but I have had a lifetime dealing with people....I took a mechanical services company from 3 employees to 27 in 6 years......and I don't think my people skills are all that bad!

Cheers.....Rob

[Mary996]

Very helpful to read. Thank you!

[Huma0]

My current guests are driving me to distraction. I am sure it's not the worst situation, but I have hosted probably close to 250-300 people in my house now and these are possibly the most demanding. They are here for eight days and that is starting to seem like an eternity.

Firstly, communication has been an issue from the start. They ask a million questions (not very self-sufficient), which would be fine except that they refuse to read any of the information I send them or the listing/rules/guidebook etc. etc. E.g. seemed to expect catering even though that is clearly not offered on the listing. House rules were broken before they even arrived.

First night there was unfortunately an incident, which I take full responsibility for. The guest cut their foot on a nail protuding from a floorboard. I did see this cut and it was very superficial (a small graze really) but I understand that this was my fault for not noticing the protuding nail. However, the guests are milking this to the Nth degree. I was woken up by hammering at 12 am and some very aggresive behaviour. I mean the guest had actually found my tool kit, got out a hammer and started smashing at the floorboards at that time, knowing other guests were asleep.

 I have done everything I can to appease these guests but they are determined to complain about anything and everything (including to my other guests who find their behaviour very weird). Sugar should be white, not brown. The coffee maker is not the same as the one they use at home (never heard anyone descibe a caffetiere as 'dangerous' before), why don't I have  waste disposal unit in my sink (not usual in the UK at all)? Pilfering through my cupboards, helping themselves to my personal belongings. Can't even turn a lightswitch on themselves. I need to do go ahead of them turning lights on. Won't respond to any messages even though they have a UK phone.

These are all small things but it's the attitude of the guests that really worries me. Why would you think it was okay to start smashing a hammer on the floor at 12am? It made me feel very uncomfortable.

I know already I am going to get a bad review from them even though I have tried to be as friendly and accommodating as possible (another guest told me as much as they were bad mouthing me to her), but what one earth do I write about them? They have good reviews from other hosts, but I am finding them a nightmare. They seem determined to be unhappy.

[Huma0]

PS @Robin4 your point about late middle age guests is really starting to make sense. I don't want to be ageist, but it is guests of this age group that are disproportiantely difficult.

[Phyllis2]

I don’t know how you can put one group of people into a category as difficult.  I find middle age guests more courteous and polite than lots of younger guests.  My complaint of a group in general are locals who have a sense of entitlement and think just because they have paid , they don’t need to respect the house rules or are just impolite.  Give me your middle age guests anytime.

[Victoria567]

Hi @Phyllis27

This  season has seen the march of the entitled guest on the air bnb platform.

Regardless of age or education......they are just entitled.....period!

I now rigorously weed them out before they book with me,by posting a set of draconian house rules that make me seem like Atilla the Hen.......but I’ve had some crackers this season and there is some business I can do well without.

Entitlement is the common denominator.

Each house rule, Ive regretfully had to post/ include has been unfortunately, from a DIRECT result of previous guest behaviour!

Trust me Ive had some eye watering behaviour this season!

[Huma0]

@Victoria567

I am like you. I have built up a long list of House Rules based on my experience of hosting. I have learnt that what you might think is obvious is not obvious to everyone.

However, what I find is that many guests do not read the rules. I do require them to and will in fact message them over and over until I get confirmation. Unfortunately, many just lie and say they've read everything when they haven't. You usually realise this when it's too late, e.g. when they are already in your house.

Besides that, some people just want to find fault, no matter what you do. Most guests love my kitchen, for example, which is large, expensively furnished and kitted out with pretty much everything that most guests need. Not good enough for my current guests apparenty.

It seems the coffee maker should be a stove top espresso type, not the cafetiere/French press, the sink should have a waste disposal system (no one I know in the UK has one of these), the sugar should be white, not brown, all cupboards and their contents should be accessible to them without having to ask, I should even have some sort of influence over the local Council so that recycling is made easier. Also I should be providing food, even though that's not included in my listing. On and on and on, and that's just the kitchen!

[Phyllis2]

Hi,  I agree that there is nothing more frustrating than an unfair review.  When we Airbnb in Europe most places don’t even supply pepper and salt with one towel each no matter how long you are booked.  Then there is yours and my Airbnb where we knock ourselves out to go above and beyond for our guests and get an unfair review.  I’ve been told by Airbnb that after looking at my site and reviews to not let it bother me as all my guests love me and the place and there will always be people you can’t please.  However I am more upset with Airbnb for taking away my superhost status for the simple reason that I didn’t meet their goal of a set number of bookings.  That’s with a five point nine star rating.  I have a short season of only three months and take longer bookings only so it’s hard to reach their arbitrarily set goal.  This is totally unfair on their part and I am still ticked off about it.  

[Huma0]

@Phyllis2I am middle aged myself and, before hosting, I would have assumed that older guests would be more courteous than the younger ones, but that has not been my experience at all. 

I'm not saying that all guests that age are demanding and I've had some wonderful older guests, but it's just an observation that, in my own personal hosting experience, a rather large percentage of them are really difficult to please, whereas only a very small percentage of younger guests are. The younger ones are more likely to 'get' what Airbnb is about, i.e. that they are staying in a host's home and not a hotel and that, if you travel, you should not expect everything to be exactly the same as at home.

[Robin4]

@Huma0

Hi there Huma, 

Whenever a booking request or an IB comes in from a woman in her 60s my heart sinks, I just know, no matter what I do, my stats are going to take a caning.

You can't refuse them, and you can't please them to the degree they would like....it's a total 'no-win' situation. 

I have built my hosting career around giving guests that little bit extra, making their stay special in some way. But I feel with age comes entitlement...."I have earned this, I have had a lifetime of  caring for someone else, now it's my time"!

Maybe I am at the age where younger generations feel sorry for me and try to make my last few days of life easier! But they are great, they are happy with what's on offer, I never have an issue with them and they unilaterally give me a good review.

Women in their 60s though.......I love em, but I hate em!!!

Cheers.....Rob

[Huma0]

@Robin4

I have to agree with you and I'm afraid lump ladies in their 50s in this category too.

I'm just looking back at the last six pages of reviews in my Progress tab. There are 24 in total. Twenty of these are 5 stars and four are 4 stars. ALL of the 5 star reviews were from people under 50, most of them in their 20s. Only two younger guests gave me 4 stars, both times for Location. 

However, both of the older ladies that stayed gave me 4 stars and for what I felt were really odd reasons.

One marked me down in numerous categories for no apparent reason ,e.g.  Accuracy: "Listing is very accurate. Includes detailed info about the place so it is important to read in advance" and Cleanliness: "Our room & bathroom were sparkling clean!" = 4 stars for both.

The other marked me down for not mentioning something that is clearly stated on the listing, again in the house rules and in two further messages I sent her. I was baffled that she felt entitled to state that my listing was inaccurate when she clearly hadn't read it at all,It made me wonder if she was on medication!

I know it's not a huge number of people to draw statistics from, but if you think about it, it breaks down like this:

Guests under 50 = around 91% 5 star reviews

Guests over 50 = 0% 5 star reviews

Okay, only two out of those 24 recent guests was over 50 but, I looked back at all of my reviews and realised that of my guests over 50 (mostly ladies) only around 60% leave 5 stars. Compare that to my overall 87% 5 star average and you can see how much my stats would benefit from not accepting older guests!

I don't want to be ageist. I'm turning 45 this week, so I'm not far off the age of most of these 'difficult' guests. I wonder if I would be the same had I not experienced Airbnb from a host's perspective...

[Victoria567]

Ho ho ho @Rob0 

Im a woman in her 60s!.....all I ask for, is clean sheets in a clean bedroom, a quiet nights sleep and breakfast, and if not, a cafe nearby where I can buy a coffee and a croissant to set me up in the morning and free WiFi, I hope that’s not too onerous.

I, in return will be clean and tidy, not make noise, not intrude on my guests, be back into the accommodation around 8pm and be considerate and follow ALL the house rules and lastly check out in time and not use all the hot water 

Whats bad about that?

[Robin4]

@Victoria567

My goodness me, we should call in the taxidermist and have you mounted on the mantlepiece Victoria. I am beginning to think you must be unique in the world.

No in reality they, in that age bracket, are in the main all just like you Victoria, very pleasant, nice conversationalists, quite knowledgeable and do keep the listing well.

But no matter what I do, or how hard I try they turn around and give me 4 stars!

And as you know, statistically, one four star has more impact on your stats than 10 five stars, so although I might only strike one in ten, at the end of 100 guests that gives me a  90% 5 star rating and puts me into danger territory!

Now if they could offer me an explanation as to why 10% of my guests thought I was not doing well enough....fine, but no explanation is forthcoming...."No, the was nothing wrong, it was a nice experience, Airbnb tells me 4 stars is better than expectation so that is what I gave it, what's wrong with that? "

I am not blaming lovely people like you Victoria, I am blaming Airbnb and as a caring host I want it fixed....it is currently a crock of *bleep*!

Cheers......Rob

[Victoria567]

Hi @Rob-And0 good day to you in Sunny Australia.

Fortunately I’m not unique...so perhaps getting stuffed is not an option just yet .....tee hee hee.

Talking of getting stuffed....I’ve made it clear what is not acceptable in my family home as even old dinosaurs like myself have standards....and those who don’t agree can find themselves the nearest available mantelpiece!

Its not up to me to say how other folk choose to lead their lives....but please not in my family home....just go elsewhere and do us all a favour.

If you are cheesed off with 4 star reviews, then why don’t you make this clear in your reply to the host comment section....I do always reply in the host comment section.....otherwise it’s a case of put up, or shut up and accept the dross.

Most retired university graduates such as myself, and the important point here is that we do not have an entitled bone in our body!....would never dream of using someone’s home like a hotel.

If I want a hotel, then I will stay in a hotel.....simples.

But then this season I’ve had University graduates ...the ladies from Utah.....sorry to keep harping on about them ( my review will be public soon) were young, charming, funny, clean, tidy.....but unfortunately entitled.

The common thread is the entitled guest irrespective of education, or background is the real pain in the stump.

Speaking for myself as a guest in the dinosaur age bracket, I leave 5 star reviews.....go look at my profile.

I suppose it really is all down to the individual quirks of human nature......we are all different, now where us my feather duster ....I must get that mantelpiece dusted and sorted before my guests arrive😉

[Robin4]

@Victoria567

My only comment to that Victoria....there is not a lot I can remember from my time in the 60's,  except the wonderful travels we did. Never mind I am firmly planted in the 70's and I still look forward to each day!

I have turned the corner.....but not by much!

Cheers.....Rob

[Victoria567]

Hi @Robin4

I look forward to each day too including my feather duster.....must go now Ta Ta😉