Tis the season… for over indulging in delicious seasonal treats, tolerating family members and dealing with a lot of organisational stress. I’m lucky this year to only have 6 at my table for xmas, although I’m sad other family members are elsewhere it’s a relief to have a simple xmas after a very stressful year, and many years of hosting very large family gatherings., and to be honest I’m not even doing much planning ahead of time, dinner for 6 is not even remotely a challenge! If we make trifle, pecan pie and caramel tart (all my faves) who will eat all of that dessert? #happyfirstworldproblems But here’s the segue onto a personal philosophy I’ve been embracing for a few years now.
minimalism.
Whatever this conjures up for you (clean, nordic looking empty rooms, or cold sterile spaces devoid of personal knick knacks) I will say it’s not quite like that, you are allowed to have personal items! I have a lovely collection of vintage items that I use as decor, and in my house, books are allowed! Minimalism is more than just “throwing out stuff you don’t use”, rather it’s a total philosophy for life. I call minimalism a “journey” because 1) it never ends (a little like weight loss, or addiction, or battling a mental health disorder) and 2) you’ll have slip ups, so knowing you are committed to this allows you to forgive yourself when you realise somehow you’ve accumulated another 12 coffee cups this year…
As I type this I am in my new office surrounded by boxes in various states of decanting, and every surface is piled high with “things” and it is really unpleasant to be in here, likewise the rest of my house looks like this. Usually my office is very tidy, everything has a place and it’s pretty, filled with plants and a few personal items, I know I will get this new space under control but it’s really amazing how on edge I feel walking into this room, usually if the rest of the house is a bit untidy I know my office is my haven. Right now the entire house is shouting at me, creating the “silent to-do list” that is cluttering my brain. I can’t walk anyway without seeing jobs that need to be done.
My fave Youtube channel for minimalism tips, The Minimal Mom, has this term: “managing inventory”. That’s what the “stuff” is in your life: inventory you have to manage. And the simple equation is that the less stuff you have, the less you have to manage. This was such a lightbulb moment for me when I first heard it, because I hadn’t considered that all that stuff packed away in boxes was “inventory” let alone me “managing” it, and I looked back on my life (esp when I had little kids) and realised that one of things that was so challenging and depressing about motherhood was the endless tidying and cleaning and “inventory management” and now I see why I often felt so overwhelmed.
If you want to start soft and gentle, you can start with the Marie Kondo trick: does this spark joy? (Or perhaps my more pessimistic version: does this remind me of something I’d rather forget? Lol, guess I’ll never sell self-help books with that attitude), but if you want to get more serious about minimalism you can try: did I use this in the past 1/2/3 years? (Baby step is: 3years, for me it’s a 1 year test, not including things like xmas decorations, although even there I’ve learned to give away a lot, today I gave away a whole bag of gold xmas decorations to our tiler because I’m not using gold this year, didn’t last year and won’t next year, so let it go! And I will confess, I still have a few items of clothing I just love too much even if they don’t fit me so well nowadays, that I keep tucked away in a drawer, but it’s only 2 things, and my drawers are not overflowing so I allow myself these small indulgences. You can also try the Swedish Death Cleaning (in a nutshell: you imagine you are are dead and your family has to sort through your stuff you’ve left behind, and frankly, they are probably going to throw out 80% of it, and feel guilty, so why not help them out now?) For me, minimalism is addictive. Once you start removing unnecessary things from your life, the freedom you feel is amazing, and you want to do more and more. In my last house I had a whole drawer in my kitchen that was empty. Empty! And I mostly kept it that way for 2 years. There was something very symbolic for me about that empty drawer that made me feel at peace, or in control, or something. Who could have predicted that such a seemingly simple thing could be so profound to me?
Actually moving house is an excellent way to declutter. We’ve moved 4 times in the past 3 years, and you realise that you have been carting things around the country and not using them. My teens even had boxes from 2019 they hadn’t unpacked yet. I’ve moved to a much larger home so I have the luxury of more space, and we run 3 STRs here so I also have the space to put extra items elsewhere, but still I don’t allow myself to hang on to things that are unnecessary, nor do I want to clutter up my STRs. During my packing up process I made a lot of trips to our local op shop*, and still today in this new location I took a boot load of stuff to my new local place, and already I have a new bag of donations ready to go.
For our own business: we can offer our guests a clutter free space that gives them that same feeling of freedom. Clutter in your STR is just a dust magnet, a breakable object that guests have to tiptoe around (as a guest I personally move breakable objects into cupboards), or it’s something that doesn’t “spark joy” for them. I’m not suggesting you have a sterile room with no decor, but we are providing an aspirational living experience (unlike a hotel) and even if they don’t realise it, one of the wonderful things about holidays is that we get to be free of our homes and the “silent to-do list”, and allowing guests to only think about the important things: food, family and leisure will surely give them the best experience.
Now here’s comes the life lesson part that has really got me thinking: this decluttering thing doesn’t just work for “things” but it also works for: feelings, emotions, habits, and even people. If you take stock of your mental health you might realise you are carrying thoughts around that are actually a burden to you, are you maintaining friendships that aren’t really satisfying? For me I gave up on Facebook about 7 years ago. Now I’m not advocating you unfriend people based on the wrong reasons (like you disagree on politics or favourite wine style, those are wonderful differences to have), but harbouring emotions and resentments is just clutter for your brain that can be quite unhealthy. I guess the old saying “let bygones be bygones” applies here, the toxic media encourages us to “cancel” instead of forgive, or ignore, and I don’t see this as a healthy way to live with each other.
So, less stuff = less stress. Seems obvious, but of course getting rid of stuff is challenging for most of us, and kind of the opposite of the (modern) Christmas traditions. It pains me to buy things for my grown kids that I know will have a limited shelf life, but they assure me they “need”. Embracing minimalism is easier as an older person, because I know that it’s not “things” that make you happy, and I’ve had some great experiences with nice homes, German vehicles, overseas holidays…. In my experience when you run in that world you can never find happiness because everyone is chasing a new high (and at a higher cost). And what we offer to our guests on our farm taps into the very opposite: slow down, ignore the outside world, breathe in fresh air, make a pizza and drink a local wine….. here the luxury is turning off the outside world for a few days.
*op shop (opportunity shop) = thrift store
I thought I’d have a whole list of aussie slang but that’s it. How sad, I did not represent well.😂