Going out of your way - How much is too much and not worth it?

[Anne10908]

I recently extended a guest's stay for free (1 day), have given them a 5-star review and hoped for the same.  Said guest is "back to work and too busy but will get to the review".  I get all that and maybe I am expecting too much from guests but how much is too much and how do you keep yourself from getting disappointed by what guests give back vs. what you expect?😞

[Sarah977]

@Anne10908  Well, as a good friend  of mine once told her daughters when they were in their early 20's and were complaining about how they couldn't find any suitable boyfriends, "Lower your expectations". 🙂

It's natural, when you've worked hard to make someone feel comfortable, to feel miffed if they don't respond in kind. But it's better if you don't expect too much from guests in that regard. If they are decent guests and don't leave a mess or damage anything, just be grateful for that. The guests who express heartfelt appreciation and take the time leave thoughtful, nice reviews are bonus.

Many guests these days seem to just consider booking an Airbnb to be a cheaper alternative to a hotel room- it doesn't occur to them that the host has a personal relationship to the accommodation they provide, they think the host is only concerned with making money. So try to not let things get to you- it's just a business transaction as far as those guests are concerned, so you need to think of it that way, too.

Don't extend favors unless you really want to, without expecting anything in return. Bending over backwards to accommodate fussy, demanding, entitled or difficult guests is of no advantage to you. It doesn't lead them to leave good reviews, because they aren't very nice people to start with. They appreciate nothing, because they feel they deserve everything.

With those types, be polite but firm- "No sorry, as my listing info states,  there are no laundry facilities available for guests. There's a good laundromat down the block."

That said, I have always had lovely, appreciative guests who leave great reviews without being asked to leave one, so all guests are definitely not like that. As a home-share host, I've had lots of good times with many of my guests and still keep in touch with some of them.

And make sure you always leave honest reviews. Don't leave great reviews for guests who weren't great. Other hosts need to be made aware of what to expect when checking out a guest's reviews. There's been many a host who accepted a guest who had 5* reviews, only to have them turn out to be terrible guests. 

BTW, in case you weren't aware, guests can't see the star ratings you give them. 

But also, neither can hosts who don't use Instant Book. We have only the written reviews to judge by.

[Anne10908]

Thank you.  I am quickly learning that yes, extending favors may not always be reciprocated so do it only if you are okay with the guest appreciating it or now.  You are right some folks just seem to want a cheaper more convenient stay where they and their buddies can all be under one roof in close proximity.  Oh well, moving on.  You live and learn I guess.  Thanks for the good advice.  

[Anne10908]

BTW, thanks for the reminder for honest reviews.  I suppose I should have waited just a couple of days before writing my review and would have realized this may have been one of those guests that feel entitled and was not going to appreciate a host going out of their way.  I tried to update my review but Airbnb only allows you to do that within a 48hour window.  So moving forward I am waiting on reviews and not rushing as I too do not want to be stuck with a seemingly 5 star only to realize that the review may have not been entirely honest.  Reminds me of a guest who thankfully ended up cancelling.  Said guest who also happened to be a host was the most unresponsive then cancelled, when I asked politely for reason, she said price (keep in mind I am one of the cheapest in the neighborhood), so silly me made her a special offer and blocked the dates, 2 days go by, said guest has yet to accept my offer.  I withdraw the offer, guest comes back quickly asking why I withdrew and saying she was still thinking about it......   The strange part about this guest/hosts reviews was how many people said she communicated well.  I struggled to see that and I just could not.  So you are very right, let us please help each other out by giving honest reviews even when you feel like being just a little nice because if you offer a misleading review, another host is stuck with said nightmare.

[Huma0]

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@Sarah977 wrote:

Bending over backwards to accommodate fussy, demanding, entitled or difficult guests is of no advantage to you. It doesn't lead them to leave good reviews, because they aren't very nice people to start with. They appreciate nothing, because they feel they deserve everything.

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@Sarah977 

That's absolutely right. A few years ago I hosted a couple that I would class as my most demanding guests ever. I can't remember all of their requests as they were so numerous, but they included expecting me to provide groceries and cook for them (my listing is not catered),  working out the logistics of their car rental for the trip they were taking after this one, going to the pharmacy for them, hanging up their laundry, sourcing specialist magazines, on and on.

Now, I didn't pander to their every wish and some of them were truly ridiculous (expecting me to install a waste disposal in the sink because "everyone in the US has one.") but they had me running to the shop late at night to buy white sugar because they had used a full bag in about three days and brown sugar wasn't acceptable, or leaving all the hallway lights on overnight because it wasn't acceptable that the light switches weren't in THEIR bedroom.

I also never complained about the numerous ways in which they ignored my house rules.

Did they appreciate it? Quite the opposite. They left me the worst review I ever had. They were literally the most miserable, rude and entitled people I have ever met. That's not an exaggeration. One of my other guests described them as "simply vile".

[Huma0]

Anyway, @Anne10908 

The point of my story above is to reiterate what Sarah said that don't expect a good review just because you go out of your way. Some guests really do appreciate it and will reflect this in their review, but guests who keep demanding more, more, more are usually the least appreciative.

I try to play it by ear, e.g. I would do a lot for a long-term or returning guest I really like who respects me and my home, and that includes extra discounts, but I'm not giving additional discounts to anyone and everyone in the hope of a good review.

Likewise, with early check ins, late check outs. I only agree to these when it's no trouble for me and the guest is super nice and seems to understand that these things aren't automatically included. The guests who seem to think they have a right to these things are politely told it's not possible.

[M199]

@Anne10908 

Sorry to hear, but not surprised.  We had a couple who "needed a break from their twin 4 year boys"  Gave them an extra night at $0.00.  My biggest mistake.  They were my worst guests  and gave me 3 stars on value, even though they effectively got a 50% discount🤯. Our nightly rate is approximately 75% of local comparable rates.

No longer do I try to be nice, supportive, generous (unless a returning specisl guest).

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@M199 @Anne10908 @Sarah977 @Dimitar27 Back to a Thor Heyerdahl story I read many years ago. Heyerdahl was a Norwegian explorer who, during one expedition, gave a lift across a wide river to a man, his family, and all their possessions. On getting to the other side the man and family just left without a word of thank you. When asking his local guide why they were so rude he was told they weren't being rude but rather, because they were not charged for the crossing it clearly had zero value and hence there was no need to thank Heyerdahl.

[Anne10908]

I like this coz sometimes what you place value on may not always be what the guest places value on.  Also learning that if they can easily get something from you, they may not value it as much.  Should have charged the guest the extra $78.66 occupying the place and holding up my cleaning, but I was trying to be nice.  I think in the end, he may have felt that it came too easy so had zero value.  Yet he could have been dragging along his luggage in the airport waiting a whole 12 hours for his flight.  Oh well, definitely a learning experience for me as a host.

[Anne10908]

Yes going to hold back a little on the freebies as it seems some guests could care less.  Sad but I guess we are living in times where many feel entitled :(.

[Mark116]

@Anne10908  Yes, after being burned a few times...some examples...a guest asked us to GO OUT and buy balloons and cookies for their child's birthday and stage them in the apartment [which we did] and not only did they never pay us for the items, they gave us 4 stars.  Another guest, our only guest who came with pets, we stayed up late to greet them and assist with them finding parking as we knew it would be difficult late at night, we ended up giving them our space in a gated lot, which they proceeded to lie about how many days they used it and trashed us in their review.

Now, my standard answer to anything 'extra' is no.  If guests turn out to be really nice and  pleasant, then I will sometimes offer extras like late check out when it fits with the schedule, or will comply with requests for things like early check in if it is convenient for ME, but always on a case by case basis, and always with the idea that the guest needs to show me they deserve it, and will appreciate it not the other way around.

[Anne10908]

Oooohhh, these examples make me just cringe at how entitled folks are.  Yet not just entitled but seemingly evil 😞

[Dimitar27]

It's not something unusual.

[Anne10908]

Thanks, I am beginning to realize that.  Thank you.  Will let that go and learn from it.

[M199]

@Mike-And-Jane0 

Thank you, that's new to me and now has my curiosity.  I will research it.

On a simpler quote, "no good  deed goes  unpunished".