Help with a response!

[Helen213]

The a guest just gave me a 1 star overall rating and This is the review I just received: 

"All emotions detached, Helen was a great host. She introduced us to local tourist attractions, daytime, nighttime activities all while being considerate of our price range. However, as informative as she was, she was also very passive aggressive in the way she talked. On the first day, I made a mistake to leave my shoes in the hallway, and this was met with a lot of aggression rather than a simple reminder. To make matters worse, the water bottle (filled with water) which she had kindly offered to us, had heavy heavy lipstick smudged all over (my gf was not wearing any); it was not a stain. It was clearly unwashed or even rinsed slightly. It was not only disgusting (as we have already taken many sips before noticing), but also dangerous during the epidemic and we could have been infected with more than just COVID-19. She did try to make it up with coffee the next morning. But this is not a mistake she could have fixed with coffee, or money, or anything as it is our health on the line. Considering you have been a long-term host to an Airbnb, it is important that you clean the most basic amenities; you don’t have to sterilize, but at least rinse. On our end, we have caused some trouble for Helen by accidentally splattering some of my gf’s purple shampoo on her shower curtains. Of course, we are very apologetic for that. All in all, she can improve her attitude and her basic hygiene."

Overall 1

Accuracy 3
Check-in 3
Cleanliness 1
Communication 3
Location 4
Value 3

The ratings are completely revenge motivated and Andrew left a left a lot out of his review, like the 2am wake-up because he forgot his keys. Or the fact I asked nicely 4 times to place the shoes under the table or against the wall before I almost fell on a pair left in the middle of the entrance hall getting to the door. Plus other pertinent information, like the shower curtain was ruined, not even dry cleaning could get the stains out, and it took me hours getting the blue off the grout - scraping the grout was the only solution.  Or that our whole conversation about it was via text &  I did not even ask for compensation, just to be fair to future hosts by telling them right away as an immediate response might have fixed the situation easier.

Andrew also failed to mention I provided breakfast with the coffee, that I apologize profusely both immediately and over breakfast.  Or the fact I was rushing set-up as he showed up early for check-in with no notice. I have a cleaner between guests due to my disabilities but I set out the drinks & snacks plus do an extra spot check on the cleaning right before guests are due to arrive. Still I know the lipstick miss is my fault.

My mind says don't reply. My heart says burn him down.  Airbnb says they will do nothing. I left him a review but I think I should reply to his review too.

Here is the reply I want to post.

"I normally do not respond to bad reviews as I know experiences are subjective. When hosting a guest in a private room in your home it is a bit of a roommate situation as we share space & there will always be interactions. Some guests a lot but others minimal. I tend to be honest, bring up issues instead of stewing.  I find it is so  much better to resolve something asap & then just move on. Which is why I ask guests multiple times during a stay if everything is going well or is there something they need.

This one star review really upset me because I do try to provide a safe clean space for my guests at a reasonable price - I am one of the cheapest places to stay in the East Village/LES even though I could charge more due to demand because I want to be fair. I try my best to write an honest detailed listing description of the room and staying with me. I hire a cleaner between guests to be sure the space is spotless as I am disabled & just put out the final touches right before I expect guests to arrive, snacks, water & final wipe down of surfaces myself. I proved extras for like charger plugs , umbrellas, hand sanitizer,  N95 masks they can take daily(which Andre did) and yes, water bottles for the guests to use during their stay. I do my best to provide advice when asked on how guest can save money & improve their visit. It could be food recommendations & advice, free museum days or fun local experiences that are usually not on a tourists radar.

Instead he focused on an honest error in response to a error on his part which cost me significant time & some money, because after check-out I texted him about blue dye spread all over my bathroom.  I then updated Andrew that all cleaning attempts were a fail & I asked in the future please be fair to your hosts and tell them when accidents like this happen, as an immediate response might have resolve the issue. I had to replace items due to the damage & I did not even ask for compensation and none was ever offered. Instead I got a rant on how I tried to give him Covid with the bottle.

A few relevant facts Andrew left out:
1. The guests would switch shoes as they left the apartment multiple times a day and for the first couple of days kept leaving the shoes in the middle of the floor of the apartment entrance where anyone would have to walk. I had to ask them multiple times over the course of 2 days to please leave the shoes against the wall & not in the middle of the floor, as I am disabled & use a cane. First few times it was a simple polite reminder. The last time I almost fell, so I said as a solution they could leave their shoes in the room they were renting & solve this issue. I never raised my voice but I was direct. They decided to start putting them against the wall in the foyer going forward. So to me the issue was over &  I moved on.
2. The Blue Color Shampoo contained dye that is permanent on porous material not treated asap. While applying the shampoo over the sink she spread little blue dots & streaks all over the white bathroom with spots on the floor, walls, tiles, grout and the Shower curtain. While cleaning the tile & fixtures was simple - the white grout was very difficult & the newish shower curtain had to be replaced even though I had it professional dry cleaned. I never asked for compensation . Once I realized the curtain was not savable, I did text Andrew  to let him know.  I also asked him to be fair to future hosts and tell them of accidents asap, as an immediate response could have fixed the problem so much easier. His response was to accuse me of trying to give him Covid with the water bottle. Which is ironic, as I provided them free  hand sanitizers & N95 masks , which they used, on top of requiring all guests to be vaccinated.
3. The water bottles were washed but I did miss the bit of lipstick stuck in the grooves of one of the lids. I was rushing as he had shown up early for check-in but it is my fault. It was returned to me full & I was extremely apologetic. I gave them coffee & breakfast the next morning on top of another verbal apology which was accepted at the time or so I thought.

4. Andrew forgot to mention a few things that severely inconvenienced me, like leaving the apt at 1am without keys so I have to get up and let them in a few hours later.  I did not comment on it & thanked him for his apology the next morning. 

Andrew misused the phrase "passive aggressive" which is behavior about not addressing issues opening. His issue with me is I actually addressed issues directly with him like an adult, politely & calmly and was NOT passive aggressive. Also all communication about the blue dye happened after they left via text and were polite.  So maybe Andrew is projecting and would have preferred a passive aggressive response which he could have ignore so not to have to deal with his own errors."

So thoughts? Is it too much?  Again I know the bottle was a rookie mistake, but I did not think it deserved a one star rating and a nasty review.

Helen Morley

[Laura2592]

@Helen213 I would keep it simple and factual. Leave emotion out of this. Its not a court case where you have to refute the points of the opposing counsel. Try something like this:

"Andrew was pleasant enough but not a fit for a home share host. There were various instances of inconsideration for house rules and quiet hours, stains and extra clean up needed, and generally just not a great match for a shared space. I would not have him back and would not recommend to other hosts."

As far as your response to his review-- the water bottle thing is weird-- I would just say:

"I am so sorry this guest felt I was being passive aggressive when I missed cleaning a water bottle. I will definitely take extra steps to ensure I limit what personal items I share. Overall this guest was not a fit for my space for a variety of reasons: not every guest is a match for every host. I thank him for staying with us."

[Hal3292]

Great proposed answer to his review, Laura. Good point that her reply should be short and simple. I wonder if you think there would be any harm in her ending with two lines she wrote, which might humanize her: "I do try to provide a safe clean space for my guests at a reasonable price - I am one of the cheapest places to stay in the East Village/LES even though I could charge more due to demand because I want to be fair. I try my best to write an honest detailed listing description of the room and staying with me."

[Laura2592]

@Hal3292 I never think its a good idea to mention being "cheap" or prices in general. It hems in the host's ability to rethink their strategy and puts the idea in the guest's mind that they should make exceptions because the space doesn't have a lot of value.  Value is subjective, cheap is subjective, and what is inexpensive in NYC might be very dear in North Dakota. 

I have found through years of running a fine jewelry business online (another hobby, but it does pretty well) that the most difficult customers were the ones buying an item for $199 versus $500-1000. Once you get above 1000, pickiness and difficulty begins again. Its really a value bell curve. Low price? You attract the bargain hunters and those who believe its high-- either they don't have the money in the first place or they pay so little for everything they believe your great price is still way above what it should be. High price? They want luxury, perfection, the moon, sun and stars. They believe their outlay entitles them to everything and more. The sweet spot seems to be the middle. That's where most of my return customers land, though some occasionally splurge. 

I would imagine ABB is much the same. Too cheap? Messy, bargain hunting guests. Thus I would not want to make this a prominent feature of my listing. 

[Allie228]

I agree! The biggest nightmare guests we have had are when we discount our rooms.  The ones that pay $350 a night are great and leave great reviews. When we discount the room off season to $99, they are a nightmare.  Now we just let them sit empty. 

[Anonymous]

@Hal3292   I don't feel like that response would really fit the nature of this guest's complaint. His grievances were not about the value of the room, nor the accuracy of the listing, but rather a communication breakdown over shoes and a lipstick stain on a bottle. To rebut those remarks with a comment about how cheap the room is would only serve to downgrade the listing's great value in guests' eyes, and many would infer that the host believes that those who pay below market rate aren't fully worthy of being treated as valued guests. That would come off as snobby, and this is not this host's hospitality style - even the most critical guest admitted that she was a great host!

[Marie6762]

Yes!  as @Laura2592 @has suggested, response should not read as defensive.  Use Laura’s response:  the line about the water bottle is perfect!  

I am so sorry about that crushing 1-star 😞 

[Anonymous]

@Helen213   (For the record, your guest was a different Andrew...)

Please do not post a response to this review! The purpose of a host response is not to "burn down" the guest - the sole audience for it is prospective guests considering you as a host, and any trace of hostility or spite will leave them with a bad feeling about your demeanor. That would be an Own Goal.

Really, you have an extremely rare affordable listing in Manhattan - you could have a 3* average and still stay fully booked, so this is not worth your time. No response means the review draws no attention, and people who don't care to read a neurotic diatribe will scroll right past it. Any response you post will draw attention to the fact that there's a bad review and inspire people to read the whole dreadful story. There's really nothing in this for you. 

[Helen213]

I know you all are right, which is why I did not post right away.  I have been hosting  for a long time now - 7 years about and I really try to provide the best experience possible within my very limited means - 80% of my airbnb earnings go to rent and utilities. I do not work a normal job due to my disability and I decided to Airbnb so I would not have to  take rely on SS disability. 

Hosting a private room in a small apartment means you really are never really "off the job". You are always at the mercy of guests needs & whims. Like sleeping in the middle of the day. The rules may say I cannot promise complete quiet, but we all know as hosts if I do make noise it could be mention in a review & harm a rating. I try very hard to be considerate, even when guests are in the so-called wrong. So Andrews's attacking me about my attitude on top of the 1 star review just felt awful  and I guess I needed to vent to people who would understand.

I appreciate you all pulling me back from the ledge.

[Sarah977]

@Helen213  If you feel you really must respond to a review, absolutely do not leave a long, detailed response like that. A review response should be extremely brief, unemotional, and only used to correct any misleading statements or indicate that you have corrected an issue that was your responsibility, for the benefit of future guests. 

Other guests aren't the least bit interested in what drama took place between you and your past guests and a long, defensive, attacking response just makes the host come across as unhinged.

And while of course an apology is in order if you goof up, refrain from apologizing profusely for something that's of minor consequence- that actually has the opposite effect of appeasing a guest- it just reinforces a guest's view of the seriousness of the oopsie. A simple "Oh, gee, sorry about that. I should maybe make an appointment to get my eyes checked."  would have been sufficient and kept it on the light side.

And as a home-share host myself, I'd advise not nit-picking guests about things like taking off their shoes. If it's a house rule you've made them aware of, and reminded them once when they forgot, and they still ignore it, let it go, and mention their disregard in tthe review.

Of course, if it's a more serious house rule like smoking that they flout, that's the time to cut their stay short.

[Inna22]

@Sarah977 you are usually the one with a sweet personal story after someone posts something but here I go: I once had a staffer whose work space had a white carpet. I asked him to take his shoes off. He worked alone in an almost condo like setting with his own bathroom and kitchenette. He has worked for me for years and could never remember to do it!  This was back when computers took 20 minutes to power up. He would come in, do some unnecessary tasks in his muddy street shoes and then wait for 20 minutes for the computer to start. I had a note on the wall for him: take your shoes off and start the computer. It actually worked! I am not suggesting that OP posts it on the wall, I am not a big fan of lots of notes throughout. Just a story I remembered

[Sarah977]

@Inna22 Taking one's street shoes off at the door seems to be something you were either raised to do or cultural. Then it's not even a conscious thought, it's just something people do without thinking. Canadians pretty much always take their shoes off at the door. My Mexican son-in-law has to be constantly reminded. 

When I lived in Canada, it was the perfect chore for my 3 year old, as the pile of kicked off shoes accumulated. "Find all the matching shoes and line them up against the wall."  3 year olds think things like that are fun. If only we could keep them thinking that chores are fun as they get older.

[Inna22]

@Sarah977 I can not understand why people would want to keep shoes on. Russians are big on house slippers. I do not like those but always take street shoes off. Do you plop on the couch in them? Take them off by the bed at night? What if it were muddy and you did take them off, do you now feel off? I genuinely do not understand the concept!

[Sarah977]

@Inna22  I don't either. Walking on public streets means you're walking in spit, powdered dog poop, and lord knows what else. Why would you want that in your house?

[Helen213]

I appreciate all your responses but I do want to clear somethin up. I do not ask my guests to take off shoes because I feel they rented the  room and should be able to be comfortable. These guests asked if  it was okay, as others have the past, and I agreed. I even showed them where they could leave the shoes - there was a little rug  right next to the chair they sat on to change set up for shoes.

My problem was not the taking off the shoes but leaving them in the middle of the only path to the front door multiple times in the first day despite me asking nicely. The last time on the second day, I was rushing to answer the door after they left and did not see them and my cane got caught on one of the "House slippers" the wore inside & I almost went down. That  is when I suggested storing the shoes in their room - 2 feet from the front door.

Your apology  advise I will take.  The bottle incident or something similar had not happened to me before and it shook me. I  just could not believe I made such a stupid error.