Should I ignore this when I rate a guest?

[Loretta126]

We normally don't have problems with guests, so I usually have an easy time writing reviews.  But I need some advice on whether this is important to other hosts or not.  The short version is that the guest that arrived yesterday was a jerk to me this morning (via text) because he was frustrated about something. Prior to arrival, they seemed very nice.

I suspect he's actually frustrated about finances, but the issue he "yelled" at me about was something else (disclosed in the listing). No expletives or personal attacks, but several long texts about how this was not what he wanted and is unacceptable and it's ruining his vacation and how he should get his way because he spent a lot of money.  It was definitely upsetting to me, especially since it should not have been a surprise.

I almost told him to leave and I'd refund him for the unused nights. Fortunately, I took some time to calm down and came up with a simple solution that seems to have calmed him down, too. 

Should I consider this immaterial when it comes time to rate him?  I understand accommodating requests is part of hospitality so I would not be posting this if it had been a request instead of a rant.

[Gillian166]

@Helen744  but in Uber's defence, the cars are WAY nicer and the drivers are often far nicer too. the taxi industry was complacent, and lazy, with low standards. Uber gave them a kick up the bum, which they needed.  

[Helen744]

@Gillian166  Oh I agree but was thinking about Debras islands position, although it would be good to put the money in the hands of the locals ,I guess the taxi drivers are locals as well ,but everyone seems to know or have access to'a driver' . These drivers could benefit from Uber I imagine. I love uber drivers because they are full of knowledge about the local area I hope those frogs stop eating the house , or is it the geckos . They dont have teeth surely ? H

[Helen744]

@Lorette126. I think it would be a good idea to bring the issue up with the guest and simply say"I am prepared to forget your recent behaviour but please do not repeat it and if you need to talk I am available for anything to do with the house" H

[Gillian166]

@Loretta126  or, you could say something about how you are unaccustomed to this behaviour, your usual clientele are always so polite, agreeable to the price of things. and courteous to the local workers.  A subtle way to shame them for behaving like ashhats. 

 

[Kristina46]

How long are these nightmares staying with you? If one more thing happens, I would be tempted to call up Airbnb and proactively open a case so you can be ready in case they try to pull anything. Tell Airbnb that you have a guest who is making you uncomfortable and that you are on the edge of wanting Air to cancel the rest of their stay. Say the guy got unreasonably mad at you and you felt threatened. Then follow through! 

As for the review, wait until the last second (use the countdown timer) and write:

"Cannot recommend Donald and Stormy. They were not easy guests. He lost his temper about something that was clearly disclosed in the listing and harassed me with abusive texts. This made me extremely uncomfortable and I honestly felt threatened. He also disrespected our driver who was there to help him and blew him off. I was so relieved when they checked out. Big thumbs down, way down."

[Loretta126]

@Kristina46 

They leave Saturday.  I sent him a message with some suggestions and I'll see how he responds to it.  I spent several hours tonight writing and editing to get the right balance of calling them out without making them defensive.  If he responds in a constructive fashion, I'll relax.  But if not, I've already located a nearby hotel they can go to and get the he** out of my house.

[Kristina46]

That's a lonnnnnng time from now.

I really hate to see you spending time you'll never get back trying to pussyfoot around with a guy who should NOT be acting like this to begin with. Why should you walk on eggshells? You aren't his servant. He's renting a place from you and needs to stop being such a baby and get a life. 

I hope you will call NOW  just to tell Air you have difficult guests that worry you. They tend to side with whomever opens the case first. 

You don't really owe this guy anything. The more capitulating you do, the more likely he is to bully you. 

I personally would be asking Air to cancel them now. 

[Julie4654]

Give him one star and the old “this guest is better suited to a hotel” 

I have only had two guests that I really didn’t enjoy, and I felt so bad giving a poor review but in the end I knew I had to be honest for the sake of upcoming hosts.  If you’re honest in your review that’s all anyone can ask for. 

[Johnathan31]

@Loretta126 I would definitely mention it, if he did it to you he would do so to others- and that’s the whole reason we do reviews. However, I would refrain from statements like typical/stereotypical Americans etc

[Helen56]

@Loretta126  @Huma0  @Anonymous  Lorretta, I agree with Huma and Andrew.  I host one room in my home and would feel extremely worried about this man coming back to my house after those angry text messages.  I'm sure other hosts in the 'shared home'/'private room in a house' category would feel the same.  I hope you can include something about this in your review.  I don't want to host this man.  

This is my suggestion for your review if you don't want to give details:  1. Say something positive - perhaps he left the place clean or arrived/left on time.  2. Say: "I would not recommend xxx to hosts who rent out a private room in their own home because he can become very angry at times."

However, I love the review suggested by @Kristina46  hope you will use it if you can!  

Please warn future hosts about this guest - we need to help each other.

[Kristina46]

I disagree with the approach of 'softening' a review by saying something positive first. If the guest is going to be slammed, don't sugar coat it. The guest won't be any happier if you mention a supposed positive and then get down to bras tacks. Just like we hate it when a guest review does that to us: "Great location and nice host but....." 

Just leave a short review if you don't want to go into details. "Guest showed a temper and was not a fit with our place. Can't recommend." 

If you know the stay did not go well, use the countdown timer, have the review ready and let it fly with one or two minutes to go. (Doesn't work if they have already reviewed you of course.)  What are they going to do? 

[Amanda660]

@Loretta126 how’s it going?

[Loretta126]

@Amanda660 Better.  I received a "sorry for overreacting" and I think the issues are behind us.  I haven't changed my opinion that he can be a bully, but as long as he keeps that under control, I won't kick him out. 

[Amanda660]

@Loretta126 hats off to him, hopefully smooth sailing until Saturday. 👌