What do you do when a host cancels with "Uncomfortable with this reservation."

[Dave994]

So I tried booking this place for my anniversary. All I wanted was it to have a hot tub but this place had light decor and a romantic setting. This was my opening message



"Hey Coleman, my girlfriend will be celebrating our one year anniversary on the 20th and your place couldn't be any more perfect. From the lights in the bedroom to the cozyness of the living to the Hot tub; it's perfect. I hope you will be able to accommodate us this weekend.

Best,
Dave"



I was able to to comply with all his rules, there was no issue with price or anything.



He then replied "Uncomfortable with this reservation."



and  cancelled the reservation without any further explanation. I cant help but feel discriminated against.

[Dave994]

I can show you guys the full conversation if need be

[Ricardo85]

@Dave994 

Maybe the host is assuming "celebrating our one year anniversary " = party?

Ricardo

[Dave994]

I confirmed with him all the details and that it was only be my girlfriend and I. If he replied and said "it sounds like a party and I'm uncomfortable" or something along those lines then maybe I would understand but to just decline my stay with just "Uncomfortable with this reservation." just stings a bit.

[Debra300]

@Dave994,

Since you mentioned all of the romantic aspects of the space in your greeting, I am going to guess that the host was more likely uncomfortable with the thought of two young people "physically" celebrating their one year anniversary all over the cabin and hot tub.  Some people are just like that.  You may have gotten a different response if you just said, "Looking to have a nice relaxing getaway with my girlfriend to celebrate our first anniversary."  This sounds more like you're just going to chill.

[Dave994]

Dang, I thought that message clearly conveyed my intention to celebrate with just my partner. I don't think saying it a different way would have yielded a different result

[Lisa723]

@Dave994 you mean, the host actually accepted the reservation request, then cancelled it-- or just didn't accept it? If he actually cancelled it after accepting it, was there any communication between those two events? (Or was it an instant booking?)

[Dave994]

Nope, he just didn't accept it.  

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**[Private conversation removed in line with Community Center Guidelines]

[Lisa723]

@Dave994 in that case you were not discriminated against on the basis of anything other than your own communication and reviews. I would bet it's that you basically said you didn't plan to comply with the quiet hours:

"If you will be coming home late at night, making noise, staying up, playing music etc. ★☆ This place is not the right place for you and your group"

"we do plan on being up late and we will be having light music and be outside in the hot tub."

And the previous review didn't help.

[Dave994]

Why is it so hard for you to understand common sense? the very sentence you bolded should be the reason why my stay isn't denied. Do you understand what light music means especially with TWO PEOPLE CELEBRATING AN INTIMATE PRIVATE STAY. I don't understand why you only choose to focus on one small aspect of the entire sentence as if nothing is valid. If that was the issue they would've right then and said that was a problem or focus on that being a problem. 

Here is what the actual host replied to my girlfriend ."

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**[Private conversation removed in line with Community Center Guidelines]

[Lisa723]

@Dave994 It was just my best guess; I have no stake in your situation and don't need you to agree. It's funny how often people post questions on this forum and then jump down somebody's throat when they don't like the answers offered. Some posts should be tagged #affirmationalresponsesonly.

I'm glad your stay was approved after all and I hope you have a great anniversary.

[Ann72]

@Dave994  The first thing that came to my mind was that you booked, then the host saw your profile picture and cancelled.  I.e., he discriminated.

However, reading the message thread, I think it's much simpler than that.  The host said, "This home shares a wall(s) with other homeowners."  You said, "As you can imagine, we do plan on being up late and we will be having light music and be outside in the hot tub."  

Reading between the lines, this host declined because he's had disputes with the homeowner on the other side of the wall, not because he was discriminating against you.  Your honesty was refreshing and he really should have thanked you for that and let you know that his bad-tempered neighbor would be having a fit over your lovely evening. 

[Emilia42]

@Dave994 I believe this host choose from a drop-down menu of "reasons" that is selected when declining a reservation. I agree that this is a tasteless way to decline and the host should at least have the decency to give you a better reason. To me, your message is perfect and I would gladly accept. But your experience is one example of why I prefer to book with hosts who use instant book and a big reason why I believe Airbnb pushes hosts to use it. 

[Emilia42]

@Dave994 I am going to backtrack on this one since I just looked at your reviews. The "Uncomfortable with this reservation" may very well had something to do with your most recent review . . . 

[Dave994]

As for my last review. I did warn the host that it would be an event. I never book airbnbs without letting the host my full intentions. The last thing i want is to get my night cancelled. I can show you the message with the host. He wasn't mad or upset about the noise. He called me and I made everyone turn down the volume after that it was all good. He even said "Otherwise Im happy to have them here". I don't think that diminishes my other reviews as well!