What to say or not say in a review of a guest?

[Linda3345]

Would you mention the following:

1. That the family stayed in the home the whole time, and did not go out sightseeing or anything that might have been expected?

2. That a member of the family smokes (they did follow our rules and smoke outside) very frequently?

3. That the children were quieter than might have been expected for their ages, and that they did not play outside at all?

I'm probably over-thinking here. 

I'm just trying to put my finger on why, despite them leaving the house very tidy and in good condition, I'm not certain I would want to host them again. 

I think it's just a difference in lifestyle and values. Do you consider those factors when deciding to host or not? 

[Pablo629]

Dear @Linda3345 . I would not comment anything you suggest.

There are some attitudes or private behavior that I would not be able to evaluate as host.

We should understand that there are millions of ways to live and also millions of questions like yours that we have to respect.

Just focus on hosting

Regards.

[Linda3345]

Thank you, Pablo. 

[Brian2036]

@Linda3345 

I don’t think any of those things is worth mentioning, and “somewhat creepy” is probably inappropriate.

In some ways it reminds me of a tenant I once had who turned out to be in the Witness Protection Program.

Or maybe they’re vampires.

In any case, if they paid, didn’t damage anything, and didn’t post false reviews or demand refunds, I suppose most hosts would accept them.

Unless, of course, you find that you need a blood transfusion after they leave….

[Colleen253]

@Linda3345 They followed your rules, left the place tidy and were quiet and low maintenance. Those are the only things I would want to know about. 

[Anonymous]

@Linda3345   I agree with @Colleen253  completely - even if you didn't particularly relate to the guests' behaviors, they were completely within their rights to stay inside the home during the time they were paying for it if that's what they wanted to do. Clean, quiet, rule-abiding - these are ideal guests for most hosts!

And before judging their mannerisms too harshly, you can't really know what this family was going through in their personal lives during their stay. Silent kids not wanting to play, a compulsively smoking parent, nobody feeling motivated to go out and do stuff - based on these behaviors, it sounds very plausible that they've chosen your retreat as a place to process a recent trauma or grief, such as a death in the family. Not everyone goes to a "retreat" for a fun vacation - sometimes it's meant as a therapeutic experience. Please review them with the same compassion you'd hope for if you were doing the same.

[Kelcee0]

This is exactly what I was thinking. Sounds like they've been through a hard time. 

[Linda3345]

I'm so glad I asked, for another perspective. Y'all are good thinkers. Thank you. 

Now, how do I stop this thread because I have enough answers?

[Anonymous]

@Linda3345  That's not how it works 🙂 The topic now belongs to the internet forever, and who knows, maybe someone else will benefit from whatever discussion carries on from it. But you can turn off the notifications if you'd rather not revisit it.

[Sarah977]

@Linda3345  In general, the thing to remember about reviews is not how you "feel" about the guests. I've had guests who felt like old friends from the moment they arrived. We had so much fun hanging out and chatting over coffee or a bottle of wine. Others were quite private, stayed  in their room when not out, and it didn't feel nearly as comfortable for me,  but they weren't objectionable in any way. And plenty of home-share hosts like me prefer guests who just do their own thing-those hosts don't really like hanging out with guests.

So my feelings don't really enter into a review of guests. I just let other hosts know my experience in terms of whether the guest was clean, respectful, communicated well, etc. 

I also will mention things like the guest was vivacious and fun to hang out with, had a great sense of humor, etc.- those are a little more subjective, but still giving hosts an idea of what to expect in a factual way, because while guests may behave differently in diifferent places (as in your guests perhaps not always being like this, but maybe recuperating from something), their personalities tend to be a constant.