"My daughter passed away on this day and I can't be at home."

[Laura2592]

So new user, inquiry about things open in our area for a weekday stay where dogs would be welcome (wineries, parks etc.) I sent the info and asked her to check out the house rules for the Easter egg phrase if she was ready to book. It is my last weekday stay this month so I am happy to book it. November is low for bookings because we block a week each year for my birthday (which is the 14th if anyone wants to give me a gift 😇) and repairs/renovations we want to get done to help our taxes before year's end. 

A bit more back and forth and she sends a request. I ask again for the Easter egg and tell her how to expand the house rules. She responds with "my daughter died on X day and I can't be at home to remember. I read the rules." 

So now we are awkward. I said I was so sorry to hear that and hope she finds some peace at our space. I cut and pasted the rules in the conversation for her convenience, accepted her booking feeling guilty. 

Her profile pic is a dog that says "I voted." She is from a city in the area from which we often have problem guests. My husband says I should not have accepted-- she is manipulating me with her story. Its a weekday stay with 2 people and 2 small dogs-- not really a party target. 

Would you feel something was off?

[Kelly149]

@Laura2592   Maybe. But maybe not. Abb does make it really absurdly easy to book without seeing the pertinent info. 

you’ve offered the condolences & you’ve sent over the info. You could over communicate before arrival (get names, contact info for both humans, breed & vet info for both animals) to confirm fit. Overly chatty can be read as good hospitality & if it flushes out a problem or sets them up for success, both are good outcomes. 

HBD 🎂

[Mark116]

@Laura2592  I'm with your husband on this one.  You already know 1) she hasn't read the rules, 2) she is emotionally manipulative.  The stay may turn out fine, but those are two red flags that say problematic/high maintenance.

[Colleen253]

@Laura2592 My guess would be this woman is preoccupied and scattered, going through the anniversary of the death. She’s just not able to pay close attention right now. At worst this stay will result in another ‘odd stay’ story. Maybe a small mishap or two, but overall what you’ve shared is not ringing my alarm bells. Good luck! 

Enjoy your birthday!💐🎁

[Kim866]

@Laura2592

Always better to err on the side of graciousness---she may be being completely honest and feeling somewhat lost--we never know what someone else is going through

[Brian2036]

@Laura2592 

I’d like to know who the dog voted for. And how often.

She has the presence of mind to ask about tourist attractions but can’t find the time to read the rules.

Thumbs down.

[Linda3345]

I would take her at her word. I’ve also lost a child, and it does overwhelm you & make your brain unclear at times. You are never quite the same. I think that what you said to offer condolences & wish that she will find some peace in your home was really good. It’s a hard road to walk, and giving her the benefit of the doubt is what I would do.  (And, I’m only adding to the factual understanding of someone who is grieving, so it is not necessary to offer me condolences, but I am also not trying to be emotionally manipulative, and I doubt your guest was, either). I think a few of you who answered harshly to the original question should maybe do some thinking about your empathy for others. I hope that you are hosting other people because you do care about others. 

[Inna22]

@Linda3345 emotionally manipulative is a good way to describe and thank you for sharing about your loss 

@Laura2592 I often get sob stories about a dead child or father's death anniversaries or someone being in a car accident on the way to check in with everyone's IDs. It is always an attempt to be allowed to break one rule or another. Would you be OK with her breaking your rules because she lost a child? If that is a charity you would like to offer her- then it is fine. I also do not think it is a piece of information I would have gone around sharing just to avoid reading the house rules one more time. Having said, I hope I will never find that one out