@Lauren176Maybe the public review just needs to say, "This proved to be a challenging hosting experience. With the unusual re-stocking and cleanup required at our farmhouse and property, we are considering not to allow children at our farm in the future. Detailed feedback was provided privately.." (Private feedback would include "Thank you for choosing our property, however we are not sure it was a good fit for your family: we were surprised the chook bin was left open, and that all consumable supplies were used or removed, as this made your stay very costly for us as hosts. We will be more careful in the future to discuss specific expectations in advance. Like most hosts, we provide consumable supplies for convenience with the expectation that excessive use would be replaced. As we charge per person, we expect only that number of beds to be used due to the cost/energy/water required to prepare the linens." The public review would be enough to put future hosts on guard to ask specific questions pertinent to their situation before accepting this family. Although reading back over it, what I just wrote for "private feedback" might work publicly too. When you take responsibility for "not discussing expectations in advance" it diffuses resentment, but tells future hosts THIS IS A HIGH-MAINTENANCE GROUP requiring everything spelled out that respectful guests would not require. You'll give a thumbs down on recommending this guest, a low score on cleanliness and a low score on observance of house rules. Chook bin open = chickens running wild, no good! Not consistent with house rules.
Of course, remember, there's always a good fit somewhere for every guest. My hillside cabin for example is small, vintage (old!), charming and excessive wear & tear would not be welcome one bit. Repairs are challenging here. But there are hardier properties nearby for lower rates with more space and less sensitive structures/gardens where kids could run wild and there's probably a cleaning service that would hardly notice the difference inside--and maybe these propeties are not stocked with condiments/supplies as you and I do.
One other thing to consider is to charge for a 5th person since a 5th bed was used. You can still ask for that. Consider also a security deposit and add to your house rules "We charge per person for the cleaning work/water/energy used in preparing linens. If guests choose to sleep in multiple beds during their stay, the extra person charge will be incurred and retained from the security deposit." MAYBE a particular bed is softer or harder and a guest moves to be more comfortable and discusses it with you, no problem, but just using everything to "get their money's worth" is unwelcome.
In my property, I have chosen to have a security deposit but I do NOT charge a cleaning fee; it's a philosophical choice. I am looking for guests who leave it as they found it (OK, not expected to scrub toilet/bath/sink/kitchen/floors nor sanitize doorknobs and other surfaces, nor dust/vacuum, but otherwise pick up and tidy up after themselves to maintain a pleasant environment.) I remember staying at a hotel once with a cousin who left a tornado behind her, lipstick all over the towels, trash on the floor, etc. and when I was mortified, she said, "They have housekeeping!" My philosophy is a cleaning fee suggests a cleaning person (other than me) and invites abusing that person by guests who feel entitled... So I prefer to create awareness that the host is indeed the cleaning person, and they are leaving me a burden if they leave a mess. If they disrespect the place, they disrespect me. I am not a hotel operator; this is my home. So far, only one guest has truly been disrespectful and created a cleaning burden (the fatty juicy meat bone on my bedroom carpet--Amazon order for a spot carpet cleaner--US$130--on its way.)
I have also considered to write up a page for my house binder "How to check out:"
1. Rinse dirty dishes and leave in the sink (I prefer this to putting away poorly-washed dishes for me to hunt down--and could invite pests...).
2. Hang used towels to dry or place in hamper.
3. Fold back top sheet and comforter to air out mattress (I want guests to see if they have stained my sheets)
4. Turn off A/C, heat and ceiling fan (for energy conservation).
5. Place trash in BROWN bin at the street, recycling in BLUE bin (I provide trash bags and a recycling bag inside).
6. Replace door key in desk drawer.
7. Please leave door closed (to deter my cat and other unwanted critters).
THANK YOU.
Just so it's clear... as AirBnb does not have a standard messaging to the guest on this. The more clear our expectations are outlined, the less stress for the considerate guest.