Appropriate checkin concerns about size and weight of guests

[Anthony48]

This is a very hard this to ask about. I am myself overweight, and struggled my entire life, as has my entire family. It's painful and embarrassing, but when does responsibility come into play?

I have been hosting for a year and made significant investments into new bed frames, mattresses, and I never imagined the size of the couple that arrived to stay at my home today. The online pictures were face only, and it just never occurred to me that I should consider what is about to happen. There is no possibility that these two people will fit on a queen size mattress. I assure anyone reading this . . .this is not even traditionally American morbidly obese, it's really a concern for my furniture and belongings. It wouldn't be respectful to put numerical weights - but even high quality furniture has limits. We are beyond all limits here in size, girth, weight, space.  I don't know what my rights are, and growing up being bullied myself, I can't imagine how to handle this. I have well over $1,200 worth of furniture and bedding that could be potentially damaged here.

I also cannot see how they will shower or use the bath and toilet space. I'm completely stressed out about a newly renovated space.

Finally - shouldn't I express this as a part of participation with AirBNB? Privately to guest? Privately to AirBNB? I cannot imagine it in a public review, but they have no other reviews, and they came last minute today saying it was because they had an incident with another host. Of course I'm guessing what it was.

I also can't imagine screening potential future guests about this topic either. I'm just overwhelmed.

[Melanie58]

I had an obese uncle (about 500 lbs) growing up - he was my favorite.  A person who is obese understands that they are overweight, I think.  Anyway, it was common knowledge that my uncle was really hard on dining room chairs - they just aren't designed to take so much weight, and my grandma complained for years about all the chairs getting wobbly until they came to the decision that my uncle would always sit in one chair, so he was only wearing out one chair - and keep in mind he was there every day so it took a long time to wear them down - maybe your furniture is more resiliant than you realize!  So everyone had a "my uncles name" chair at their house.  He was not offended when someone asked him to "sit in this one over here", we all had a way of faulting the chairs more than my uncle, who was fabulously funny and great with kids and all around a wonderful person.  In the end, it was much better to have him there and deal with wobbly chairs than get worked up about stuff, but of course I guess that is family which is different than a money making venture.  

I'm sorry you were bullied as a child, and I think your desire to show kindness and empathy is really good.  But there is a difference between bullying someone and being frank.  I think if you show that you are willing to accomodate and work through the problems with them, and if you show that you are really delighted to get to know them as people, they will understand the issue - surely after all these are issues they face every day in their own lives?  A person does not become 500 pounds over night.  

So what specific issues are you worried about?  If you have a new mattress, for instance, it is likely still under warranty.  If one night of sleeping under these guests does in the mattress, the mattress is probably warrantied against a certain amount of compression within say 5 years? Sure it would be a pain to get it replaced and deal with the warranty, but the mattress is something that is probably relatively easy to fix without cost in that scenario.  If it is the frame of the bed you are concerned about, I would address that one outright:  "Hey, yall I have to be honest I have had all kinds of guests stay here and this bed frame sometimes seems wobbly even with my cousin - he's a linebacker and he complains about it's gonna break on him.  I just worry with both of you on this bed it might give out and I don't want that to happen to you.  Would you mind if I just set the bed off the frame that way we don't have to worry about it?"  If you are worried about them passing through the shower doors, well, a night without bathing won't kill someone and that would be obvious on their own inspection.  I looked at your pictures, so it isn't as if the fact you have shower doors is some kind of surprise.  They must have known that at booking.  A toilet coming unseated would cost something to correct, and maybe that is something you could discuss with Air if it indeed becomes a problem, but maybe it won't be a problem at all.     

Hope everything works out and you don't have anything to resolve with Air.

[Yvonne41]

Hi

We have hosted some obese guests who did not disclose their size before they stayed. This has been hard on our toilets seats and our dining chairs, which are very sturdy up to 250 lbs. But, I suspect these people are well over 300 lbs. As an Airbnb host can I request people to disclose if they are over 300 lbs? These guests are not telling me about their size and also do not notify me of the damages they cause by their over averageness. Our mattresses and frames are sturdy, but one of our beds was damaged and bent, as was the trundle because an adult used the child's bed. We have twice had to replace toilet seats. It's a lot of extra work on my husband and I because 1) our home is 200 miles away and 2) we notice these big, unreported issues when we are actually using the home with our own families. I can't imagine why these guests don't tell me, nor do the subsequent guests. TIA for advice on how to proactively and sensitively handle this subject so it's not affecting the experience for the bulk of my other guests and causing extreme wear and tear on my furniture that is difficult to constantly repair and replace.

[Anthony48]

Gonna be blunt. Unless profile pictures leave no doubt, ZERO doubt that a guest appears obese - this is discrimination (it still is) and you need to contact AirBNB immediately. Do NOT wait, AirBNB is really cooperative if you ACT FAST after a reservation is made. This is a general rule for ALL PROBLEMS. The only good news is if you TAKE A LOT OF PICTURES if there is damage - AirBNB is very supportive and is aggressive with guests to get compensation. PHOTOS PHOTOS PHOTOS.

[Helen350]

**[Inappropriate comment removed in line with the Community Center Guidelines]

[Mike77]

Just say you are not comfortable with them renting your space.

Easy.

Mike
AirBnB Treehouse for Rent
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/7292887

[Jim-and-Marcia0]

I'm glad you brought this topic up, as it's good to think this through. We all could be faced with this kind of situation. Melanie is spot on with her reply.

I have some big brothers. When they come for a visit, I guide them to sit in a chair I fondly call "The Big Boy Chair". They don't mind, as they would rather not break my furniture. I let visitors know I have some delicate furnishings, so to please be careful not to cause any damage. It's good to offer alternatives. You may need to make some things off-limits. You may need to make some adjustments to your furnishings as well.

I used to work in a hospital. We had standards for serving seriously obese patients with dignity. We had weight ratings for beds, wheelchairs, surgery tables, and some diagnostic imaging equipment. We would do the best we could to serve with compassion and discuss with the patient the options we had available. Commercial facilities, such as hospitals and hotels, can accommodate oversize people much better than most private homes. Damage is a real possibility to fixtures such as toilets and shower stalls. Be sure to check for damages soon after check-out.

Let the guests know you are glad to host them.  Although you aren't accumstomed to serving people of their size, are you willing to do what you can to reasonably accommodate their needs? I would approach this situation open, honestly and respectfully. Let your guests know you want them to be comfortable in your home and to have a pleasant stay. You have the same goal here. Enlist their help. By living with severe obesity, they have had to navigate spaces and attitudes most likely for a very long time. They are the experts. Ask them for suggestions. It will not be surprising to them that you are unfamiliar with serving people of their size. Just don't ignore the "pink elephant" in the room, negotiate this head-on.

[Donna15]

@Anthony48, in my own listing, I indicate the exact size of the mattress, and the maximum amount of weight it can withstand (for 2 people). Perhaps for the future, you could do something like this. At least the issue of weight will have been addressed beforehand, especially if potential guests make the effort to read the listing's descriptions of the bed space.

I do sympathise with your concern, and hope you're able to resolve it to everyone's mutual satisfaction. 

[Susan217]

Ok I'm new to air b&b but I can clearly read that you have compassion for your guests. Truthfulness doesn't have to be mean. And clearly you are not mean. I've owned a b&b for 18 years now somewhat hostage to airbnb. I am trepidatious about reviewing guests. And yet, my recent guest tried very hard to scare me out of charging her for a fifth guest. Should I **bleep** foot around it? After I wrote the review I realized many hosts have one room in their home. They are novices. Hosts have everything to lose. Guests lose little. I'm planning to be kind and honest.

[Johannah1]

This is a serious problem.  We rent out several vacation cabins,  one of which has very sturdy furniture for just this reason.  But what if they have rented another cabin?  I worry for my guests comfort, for my furniture, if I should upgrade to the larger cabin, do I alert other hosts in somehow a kind way...??     It is deeply distressing when a couple comes to check in and you see they are very large, and we  cant figure out a kind way to say " We have another cabin with sturdier furniture where we think you will be happier?"   Or even worse the "sturdy" cabin is already rented.       We had one large couple completely break a bed and leave without saying anything.  I know they must have been embarrassed, and I felt awful for them, but the bed was simply not designed to take the weight.  I dont know what to do because I want my guests to be comfortable and happy, but in some of our smaller cabins I know they won't be.  I find it a very real issue for which there are no answers. 

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Anthony48

I just found your old post.... how it ended? Did your furniture survived? 

[Connie55]

I too would like to know how the original poster's situation turned out.  I am overwhelmed with concerns for my adorable tiny house guest lodging with the cane-seat chairs, the nice double sized bed on a box spring and the fiberglass one-piece tub and shower combination ----- because I found a photo on a social networking site of the husband who is probably between 400 and 500 lb man due to girth and height. They will be here for 8 days. I tried messaging that the bath door opening is only 23 inches but that didn't discourage them. I am so worried about damage because I have bookings after they leave....I don't know how I will turn over the space in time if there is damage. I really want to cancel and eat the $100 penalty, plus whatever airbnb threatens about not showing my listing for canceling.  They arrive one week from today. 

Connie

[Jayesh0]

@Connie55

I would suggest calling Airbnb.  The customer support team can be very understanding and I don't think they would want you to suffer exceptional stress when alternative arrangements can be made.  Explain that you are very uncomfortable with the booking.  If it is going to be causing you angst for the next 2 weeks until the guests check out you should at least attempt to get this resolved.  Everybody keeps saying - trust your instincts - for a reason.  You know better than your guests what your property can handle and it is incumbant on you to protect yourself and the guest if you feel the space will not work.

Tell airbnb that you have made a thoughtful and considered decision that this property is not the right fit for these guests.  It may help to look at other listings in your area and see what is available.  Use your best judgement about which property may be conducive to a comfortable stay for the guests.  If you have a couple of suggestions on hand you can pass this on to the customer support representative.

We had one set of guests a couple of years ago that we felt would not be a good fit.  This only came to light days before their arrival when they asked to have carpets removed and soft furnishings cleaned and a long, long list to accommodate severe allergies.   I called to discuss my concerns and Airbnb was very understanding.  They offered to rehome the guests with no penalty.  Because it was an Easter weekend, with pretty much zero availability, we ultimately decided to go through with the booking, however, it was a very poor experience and we would not do this again.  

If you are worried for your delicate home contents and worried about disappointing the guests, it may be the best $100 you spend this year if you have to cancel yourself.  You may be doing the guest a service as well if you are confident they will not be able to fully enjoy the space.

Best of luck, Lisa

[Connie55]

Thanks for your very considerate feedback. All in all my experience has probably been a deeper introduction into the gnarly side of hospitality at your home - worrying about potential damage from 400 lb guest and 200 lb guest spouse  when you have subsequent guests coming in.  Because I did contact airbnb with my concern about damage to my tiny house in the way of the cane seat chairs and double size full bed with wooden box spring.  The responses weren't helpful and one message I received back was from a different department -  customer care (?) where I was sternly reminded me of airbnb's non-discrimination policy ( which only added to my anxiety).  As it turned out, I decided I did too much personal shopping last month and needed the booking and would host the guests and whatever happened would happen! 🙂 They checked out and everything seems okay. Whew. Maybe, I won't get so anxious next time.  Maybe, I'll write something in the listing about the chairs or even weight limits (eh, maybe not!). 🙂

[Pat365]

I expressed concern to Airbnb for my recent Guests. 1 barely made it up the steps and almost fell. Another was sitting on my deck railing. Two were on a twin trundle bed. 

No way they could be comfortable and what if they fell?

I was told to file a claim with my insurance if they got hurt, and one with Airbnb if there were damages.😮

If the Guests weren't complaining, nothing they could do.