Guest staying in home all day

[Jane89]

I have a couple who arrived on Sunday.  They had asked if I have Wifi for work and I assumed that they would be working in the morning and evening - turns out they are using the bedroom as an office and never leave the house.  Take out is arriving at least twice a day and they are eating in their room.  This is a bed and breakfast not an office. They are staying 10 days and Im not sure I can stand having them in the house all the time!  What can I do?

[Mandi-S-Just-Business-Ro0]

We are hosts, not haute cuisine. Not everyone will agree with this hack, but here goes. 

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Food in my city is cheap. I keep a stash of fresh fruit on the counter and cheap food in the fridge. It costs next to nothing. 

[Mandi-S-Just-Business-Ro0]

It's been 3 years since I wrote this. My preferences have changed. Here's why. 

When a guest is home all day, they get bored and restless. One parked himself in the living room for his whole stay. Even changing a light bulb was a 10 minute discussion. They start looking for entertainment. That's why I only have working people.  

Next, I put in TV's as electric babysitters. Ahhh!.

I no longer permit people working from home exclusively, either. It's twice the utility drain of a working person. And I don't have the insurance to run a business out of my home. 

Every day, even for an hour, I get my house back. I do mostly housework, and check the status. I don't like to do this much in front of them in case they get the idea that I'm 'the help'. 

The people who are coming and going are not covered by the host guarantee. 

[Emerson44]

you have two options

talk to the guest after the first day and propose places to go etc and ask them nicely not to stay all day and address it nicely and politely

OR 

cut the wifi, do not allow cooking, no deliveries etc. my place is wifi run (internet access, tv, etc is wifi connected, even the interphone so no one can ring the bell if disabled.

I will always allow ONE all day stay,  after is a no, no. unless they explain from the beginning the purpose of their stay. I had a guest that had food poisoning the next day and had to stay in recovering, so in that case is justified. or had this couple coming from a long flight and jet lagged for 2 days but they told me before hand. so definitely is a case by case situation.

[Emma21]

I have stayed in around 8 airnbn in my life time, I never felt comfortable in using the people's kitchen, and I didnt want to 'invade more" their privacy by being in their home all day long. There is no way I will stay in the airbnb instead of going out and explore. I have a similar situation right today during COVid, i have this couple, they came here for an equestrian season, they arrived last night around 9 pm  and it's 2:16 pm and they are still in their room. The guy wants the ac in 68 all day not just a night.  I was not expecting them to stay all day in my home. It's very uncomfortable, I wish they were out exploring the city going to the beach etc... The guy even ask me if they can cook. I ve been doing this for 5 years no one ever cooked in my home or stay in they room all day long. But this is my fault, I will survived this 9 days with this people, next time i will ask all the right questions before i accept the booking. This is not a hotel this is an irbnb you are in peoples home, have more house etiquette and stay in their home the least amount. A hotel will cost you double or triple. Do not be so invasive.  

[Sarah977]

@Emma21  You list a mini fridge, a microwave, a toaster, and an oven in your amenities list and state that guests have access to the whole house. Then you have kitchen crossed out.

I can see where guests would be confused. I think you need to make it much clearer in your listing description that guests do not have cooking privileges.

I am a home share host as well and my guests have full kitchen and cooking access. None of my guests has seemed to feel uncomfortable about using the kitchen, and some have cooked up some delicious meals which they invited me to share.

Of course, it's very individual, as it should be, if a home-share host allows cooking or not, but just because when you have been a guest you aren't at ease about using the host's kitchen, and are out and about all day doesn't mean you should expect that all guests would feel and behave like you do. 

It isn't invasive for guests to simply behave differently than you would. You have to make your expectations clear to guests from the outset. If they then disrespect that, that's something else entirely.

[Emma21]

When I stayed in people's homes, I tried to be less inconvenient for them as possible, that's how I was raised by my parents. It's just a matter of education. I can imagine now why you dont get it. 

[Sarah977]

@Emma21  But not everyone, neither host nor guest, has the same understanding of what would be considered invasive or not. That's what I'm saying. 

Hosts need to make their boundaries clear to guests, because assuming they have the same sense of appropriateness that we might,  just leads to issues between us and guests.

I don't mind guests staying home a lot at all, or preparing meals. I have quite a lot of interaction with guests and enjoy that. And most of the time I am busy doing my own thing and guests do whatever. So my boundaries are different from yours.

That's why it's important to let guests know what you expect. How they behave appropriately at your place would be quite different than what I would be accepting of. Neither is better than the other, just different.

[Helen3]

What did your guests say about why they were coming to your area, when you asked them as part of your booking process ? @Emma21 

As @Sarah977  says;  you say in your listing that you offer guests amenities to cook with -  so you shouldn't be surprised that they want to access these amenities. Obviously if you don't want guests to cook at your place then don't offer facilities such as an oven.

Perhaps the fact you have nearly 1.5 million Covid cases in Florida and over 20,000 deaths means your guests are less likely to want to go out.

If you want to only host guests who spend most of their time out of the listing during the day and who don't cook,  then I would put this in your listing and vet your guests more carefully to ensure they meet these house rules.

I home share and have many guests  like to spend time hanging out at my place because they like my kitchen/dining facilities, garden etc

If you assume that guests should spend the majority of their time not being in your listing during the day,  then I would politely suggest the one who may need educating around this is yourself.

[Emma21]

whats you are saying is great for people that are renting a whole house, but when you are inside of people's home, renting a room, I don't ever dare to be inconvenient to the owners of the home, and I expect the same when people stayed in my home.  It's just a matter of education.  

[Sarah977]

@Emma21  Are you just being willfully obtuse? What you consider to be inconvenient behavior on the part of a guest is based on your own personal upbringing and what you find invasive. 

To put forth the notion that anyone who had a different approach and understanding of what is overstepping was poorly educated is a strangely superior attitude.

One would hope a guest would be aware that blasting music when the host has gone to bed is disrespectful behavior without being told, but whether they are welcome to spend 10 hours a day at the accomodation they paid for or expected to be out of the house all day is something that needs to be made clear.

Most home share guests have no intention of being disrespectful, but what constitutes disrespect is subjective and needs to be conveyed. If you refuse to do that and instead expect everyone to be exactly like you and get offended when they aren't, that's obviously your choice, but seems rather self-defeating.

[Emma21]

I am glad that you will never be in my home as a guest. So save it! I don't need to hear your stupid arguments.  Bye!

[Sarah977]

@Emma21  Oh, rest assured I would never want to stay in the home of a host who thinks anyone who doesn't share her viewpoints is wrong.

[Melanie900]

I have been hosting for a year, and I only recently encountered this phenomenon. Living on the Gulf Coast, in a highly touristic area, everyone I've had here has been out exploring every day. So that is just what I came to expect, and why the hosting at my house has not been a problem. The guest suite is attached to my house, with a completely private entrance, bath, deck, and garden. But I feel I have to tone down my own activities when the room is occupied, so as not to disturb guests. Knowing that most are out half the time, it has until now never been an issue.

And I cannot conceive of booking to stay in the area here, and not having any curiosity about what the surroundings offer.

Until recently. I had one guest who had just been released from the hospital, and who was looking for a quiet place to stay for a day or two, before feeling up to driving back to her home a few hundred miles away. So that was understandable. And I could have easily declined. 

But the next, was a couple who booked last minute, late at night, for a weekend. I'd not had an advance booking, so I left the same day booking turned on, since the room was ready. They said the trip here to spend time in the casinos had gotten derailed when their booked hotel rooms had been given to someone else. And they spent the entire weekend in the room until check out time. Then did not even leave a review, which also had never happened to me before.

The latest, who is here now, started with a red flag that I chose to overlook. A woman with an ABB account requested at 2am a stay for 10 days she said for her husband who is a travel nurse with a contract at a hospital nearby. I have had many travel nurses stay here, and I only hesitated momentarily at the fact that it was a third party booking. Which actually goes against ABB rules. But there was only one bad review, out of 10 plus, and I just went for the money. I will not do this again.

Six days now into the stay, the guest has only left the room to I presume go to his night shift at the hospital on the first three days. He'd said that he would be working nights. But the TV is running all day long, and his car is here 90% of the time. And the last two days there have been unregistered people coming by, staying for 10-15 minutes, then leaving again. They are not delivering food, so I do not know who they are. And I am trying not to let my imagination run wild on that one.

I have decided that if I see another one, I will have to confront him about my unregistered guest policy. He is booked to stay another 4 nights, and as I work regularly in my home office, I see and hear: the TV, the fans, the comings and goings. It is not what I came to expect after my first year of hosting, and I will be paying closer attention now to what people are actually going to be doing during their stays here. And things like why they do not have their own ABB accounts. 

I do not use instant booking for these very reasons. But I realize that I still need to pay closer attention to my vetting emails. Three weeks now of feeling like I cannot move freely inside of my own house has been a lesson.

[Lia18167]

I have the same experience with a longer-term guest  right now who has been staying in her room all day, walking around in her pyjamas in the morning and evening, using energy irresponsibly which I already had to address and she'll be here for another 2 weeks.  Before booking she said that she's a uni professor and she'll be out most of the day visiting sites and going to the uni. So  far she's just been squatting here. This is not the first time this happens. I now had 3 longer term guests who had pretty much the same habits staying in round the clock.  It just makes you feel a bit uneasy and also why do people lie about the purpose of their visit. I will ask my guest what her plans are for the rest of the time I think and remind her that my place is not an office, in case she's using it a one. If it will make her leave, the better! I'm fed up with these types of people.