Dilemma to review and to be reviewed

[Alice595]

EI just checked out a family today. They were nice, and respected house rules. They even collected kitchen trash and put the bags away outside the house in the backyard even though we did not require guests to do so.

However, we did find a few small things. (1) Their kids put bubble gums on the hand towel in the bathroom. The hand towel had to be trashed (2) The lady was at period and left blood stains on the sheet even though she tried to clean it without success. (3) A coffee cup which has a set of four was missing, most likely it was broken by kids. They did not tell me these during their stay.

Should I send a message to them? Should I just take the cost of damages without telling them? How and what should I review them? I am so afraid of getting a retaliatory review if I send a message to them and mention the damages.

Just four days ago, I got a retaliatory review from a guest who canceled one hour after checkin because he said to Airbnb the house was too hot while the temperature on thermostat showed 71 F. So far I have not written my review to him. Therefore his review is not shown yet. Definitely it would be 1 star based on his rough messages after Airbnb told him that I agreed to refund him unused night instead of a full refund.

[Robin4]

@Alice595 

Two aspects to this answer Alice,

Firstly, to your guest who cancelled, supposedly because of the temp in your property, you should review him, and without vilifying him, state the experience from your point of view. Alice I say do this because future guests do cross reference reviews if they see a negative review.....they want to see the other side of the story! So it is important that you state your feelings before you have had the opportunity to see his review. You will have the opportunity to publicly respond to his review but, if you haven't reviewed him, that response will be seen as sour grapes....it won't show you in a good light!

As far as the current situation is concerned most users here would tell you to lay everything out in the review, give a blow by blow description because you have a duty to warn other hosts, just as you would like to be warned.

Alice, I do not wholeheartedly go along with that. You said they were basically ok guests, but a couple of minor things let the experience down for you. Alice I have a current thread on just this topic, so it does happen, and it happens to all of us. It is a part of hosting.....not a major part, but an annoying part.

I would suggest that the minor nature of the issues does not warrant a public caning but I would say at some point in the public review,  "just a little more care in some areas would have been appreciated"  and leave it at that! That tells prospective hosts that they may have been a bit careless or thoughtless.

In your private feedback say to them....."Thanks for coming and staying and the lovely clean way you left the property. It is just a bit unfortunate that my lasting perception will be one of disappointment over the state of the hand-towel and that missing cup. I know accidents happen, but it is always less of a blow if I am told, I am not a great one for surprises"  Now by doing that, you will have been nice about it and it will embarrass her and make her take a bit more care next time.

As far as the blood stains are concerned, say nothing Alice! As you said she tried to clean them herself and is already embarrassed enough as it is and she will think far more of you if you just let that one go through to the keeper! There are some fine products out there for getting rid of blood stains. I have never had blood stains I could not remove completely, Just accept that this will happen from time to time and be prepared for it when it does.

Alice you are a fine host, it is not in you to be a vindictive person....take the high moral road here and be at your diplomatic best, hey.

Cheers.......Rob

[Lisa1933]

I would give the guests high marks in the review because they dis their beat to clean and the details you refer to are just things that happen. This is why you have multiple dishes, sheets and towels waiting to swap out because when folks stay, stuff gets dirty. None of what you mention is malicious or really an issue. We have had to replace all you mention and just chalk it up to normal wear and tear. As far as dishes, I would hit the thrift store and for sheets/linens I would buy same color in larger quantities. If you feel obligated to mention the broken cup then that is what the private section of the review is for. Unless there are grievous property damage then don’t say anything and don’t ever charge without discussing it first. Communication is so important in our business. 

[Gerry-And-Rashid0]

@Alice595  These are all costs of doing business. If you take kids you take on a higher risk. As for blood on the sheets - would you expect to go to a reception desk at an hotel for example and tell them that a member of your family/party had their period and there was blood on a sheet? There were a few little things that lumped together feel like a bigger issue - personally I'd just move on a give them a review if you think necessary- but be wary of singing them for such minor issues. Good luck

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Alice595 

I don't charge for 1 ruined towel ...but if they would ruin a few of them then I would.

I don't charge for 1-2 broken dishes ...but if they would break a few of them then I would.

I don't have expensive dishes and towels, I buy them at IKEA and replace them when they are ruined.

I don't charge blood stained sheets either. I don't have expensive sheets so I can replace them at a low cost.

I use cold water and hydrogen peroxide or bleach and they always go away. Yes, I spend some time to fix it and can't just take them to the laundry service with all the other sheets and towels but OK, it's not a big deal.

I only file a claim when something more expensive is broken like the door, window, bed frame, etc...  or if the damage is done out of total negligence or stupidity.

I wouldn't mention it in a review either.

[Alice595]

@Robin4  @Gerry-And-Rashid0  @Branka-and-Silvia0  Thank you all for your great suggestions. Basically all your suggestions are not to make claim for the damages, which I thought as well. In the review part, @Robin4  suggested indirectly mention a bit. In terms of star rating in three categories: cleanliness, house rules, and communication, what number do you suggest?

And how do I communicate with the guests that I can take the cost of damages but hopefully to get a justified good review? I am just afraid that they may be upset after I pointed out the damages we found after they checked out. If they had told me during the stay about these damages, that would have been better because I could just tell them we could take the loss. With a retaliatory 1 star review, most likely I will lose Superhost in the next review period if I get another bad rating.

[Robin4]

@Alice595 

Alice, If you are worried that they may think you are going to have a go at them in the review about these little things, remember you still have the message stream with them.

You can send them a message to say....."Hey, thanks for being great guests, just a couple of tiny things, but the good aspects of your stay far outweighed any negatives, I and would not think of dragging those unfortunate little slips into the public arena....All the best to you, I hope we lived up to your expectations and our door is always open to you"!

They will get that and it will relieve them so much they will definitely give you a 5!

I know Alice, I have done it myself before!

Cheers......Rob

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Alice595 

I don't downrate guests because of 1 towel, 1 broken cup, and a  blood stain. If everything else was great I  give them 5*

I suppose we all broke a glass or a cup by accident in a cafe....  and stained a table cloth with a sauce in a restaurant, right? I've never been charged for it, did you? 

Ok, in some countries and some restaurants you are allowed to break plates for joy and then, of course, you are charged for it, but that's another story 🙂

I also never ask for reviews and I don't explain how anything less than 5* will hurt my ratings. I am pretty casual about it

[Alice595]

@Branka-and-Silvia0  My point is not about damaged items. My point is about how the guests handled the them because they did not tell me anything about them. I was thinking to give them a 4 star in communication. 

The way they handled the damaged items made me think that I may not get a justified review from them if they write one. Otherwise, I would have not raise the question in this post about the dilemma to review and to be reviewed.

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Alice595 

They rarely tell, believe me. It's a constant problem for me because I have a very tight schedule between back to back bookings. So I came clueless and unprepared for the damage, I have to discover it, run to the store to buy a replacement ( shower rose, batteries, screws, whatever...) then replace or fix it and  prepare and clean the place on time for the next guests. It is stressful. I am always grateful if they let me know in advance so I can bring tools and replacement items with me or come earlier if I know I will have extra work to do.

But, I suppose they are embarrassed.

[Mike1034]

Yes. You’re right. Shake your hands.

[Anonymous]

@Alice595  The star ratings you leave for guests are not visible to hosts who actually screen their guests (non-Instant Book) so the content of your text review is far more important. 

You absolutely must NOT tell your guest anything that might imply you're seeking a positive review in exchange for not pursuing a damage claim. Airbnb rightfully considers this to be extortion.

Anyway, a damage claim doesn't make any sense here. Blood stains are very easy to get out of fabrics (peroxide, cold water) and gum can be removed from a hand towel (put it in the freezer, or soak it overnight in distilled vinegar). A coffee cup costs what, $1?  If you brought these things up directly, you'd come off as petty, and while your guests might not leave a "retaliatory" review, even an honest review would scare off prospective guests, thinking you're the type who's looking for excuses to charge for every little thing.

Your actions after the guests depart still matter. If you choose any of the actions you've suggested here and provoke unnecessary discomfort and embarrassment over an insignificant and treatable amount of damage, I'm not sure a positive review of the overall experience would be justified.

[Susan17]

At some point soon - before the damage is irreparable - homesharing and small entire home hosts are going to have to realise that calling them out in public reviews for minor issues,  is driving guests away from Airbnb in droves (as are, hosts constantly badgering/cajoling them for 5 star reviews). 

Guests are bringing up the subject of the neuroticism and pushiness of Airbnb hosts in relation to reviews, all the time now - in person, in their own reviews, in podcasts, on travel blogs, in media articles, in chat groups all over the internet - and they absolutely hate it. 

Nobody - and I mean, nobody - wants to go on their long-awaited (and possibly badly needed) holiday or mini-break, and have to stress about whether or not their host is going to publicly shame them in a review for dropping a few crumbs or forgetting to put the toilet seat down when they leave.

And sadly, that's what it's come to now on Airbnb. There are plenty more sites for guests to choose from where they don't have to worry about all that palaver - and all the evidence is showing, that they're voting with their feet, and going elsewhere. While host numbers are skyrocketing (due to aggressive recruitment and unprecedented sign-up bonuses and incentives), the very opposite is true for guest retention figures and new guest sign-ups. 

Airbnb have well and truly shot themselves in the foot with their ridiculous, petty, punitive review/ratings system (aka, data-mining exercise) They couldn't have come up with a quicker, more effective way of losing hordes of guests to competitor sites, if they'd tried. 

By all means, slam those guests that deserve it, for serious transgressions - but stop sweating the small stuff, or there'll be no guests left to review anyway. 

[Helen350]

Excellent @Susan17 !

- Much as I WANT to explain the review minutiae (to get better * ratings), I'm reflecting on 8 sets of guests who have left over the last 10 days, & I haven't mentioned the R word once! Felt it would be badgering them, & indelicate when push came to shove.... So I think I now only discuss the ins & outs when GUESTS raise the issue.

Re blood stains @Alice595 , I'm with everybody else, accidents happen, it wasn't malicious, nor even careless, & I think it would be unkind & ungracious to mention it, even covertly or privately. I still give 5* across the board, including cleanliness if the guest(s) was otherwise OK. My note-to-self is always to give full marks &  a positive written statement, unless there is something serious that other hosts need to be warned about.  

[Anonymous]

@Susan17  Agree with you 100% here.