Help with guest review

[Suzanne302]

I had a guest who was not bad, but I don't think I'd want him back as he just did some things that annoyed me, but may not annoy another host. Specifically:

-Gave me an ETA, then arrived an hour later.

-Ignored check-in instructions that said to ring the doorbell if there was a car in the driveway, and instead just let himself in when he first arrived, leading me scare him when I came out of my room as he entered.

-Extremely socially awkward. Extremely. So much so I felt I had to hide just to escape the awkwardness.

-I have two shelves in the refrigerator labeled specifically "GUEST SHELF". He placed his items on the other shelf, with my items.

-Sat down at my coffee table to eat, instead of my table.

-Rearranged my couch cushions.

-In spite of rules stating "no use of kitchen glassware" and in spite of the fact I leave glasses IN THE ROOM for guests to use, he used 3 of my glasses from my kitchen cabinet.

-I have a bin in the bedroom clearly marked for recyclables. He put some cans in the bin (it was NOT full, not even close), then put more in the trash can in the kitchen.

-In spite of clear instructions to leave any extra used blankets on the floor, so I know to wash them, he put the blanket he used back on the shelf. I know he used it because he left the door open one day and I saw it on the bed. It was also folded very badly. 

All in all, just minor annoyances, nothing to rate him down, I don't think. But would other hosts want this info? I believe he was genuinely a nice guy (although awkward) and he left the place clean.

How would you handle the review? Ignore the annoying things he did? Or would you want to know these things even though they might not necessarily be deal-breakers?

[Louise482]

Hello!

I presently have a similar situation. I would like to leave a message to warn other guests about stuff but do not wish my guest to read the info. How do i do that?

Louise

[Suzanne302]

@Louise482 

You can't. The review is the only way to let other hosts know about guest behavior. If the behavior is obviously bad, please make sure you give an honest review! We depend on them. In the case I've mentioned above, he wasn't necessarily a bad guest, but just one who did things that annoyed me.

Also, not sure if you're aware, but the guest cannot read your review until they review you, or, after 14 days. So don't hold back a review if you're afraid of retaliation. They can't retaliate.

[Katie---Sean0]

I thought the guest could retaliate in a follow-up comment? As I understand it both reviews become visible after 14 days (or one if only one party left a review). Then there is an additional 30 days within which to add a follow-up comment to a review.  So if you leave a bad review for somebody even if they leave a good review for you… They can then add a follow-up comment. Or am I misunderstanding something?

[Suzanne302]

@Katie---Sean0 

Yes, they can leave a response to your review, but there's a very slim chance any future guests will see their response as it is on the guest's page, not yours. They can't leave new comments or revise any comments ono the review that is posted on YOUR page.

[Katie---Sean0]

@Suzanne302 – thanks for explaining I wasn't sure how the the review> response thing worked 🙂 

[Ann72]

@Suzanne302 Oh dear, bless the poor guy's heart.  You wonder how people get from point A to point B in life, much less book an Airbnb and travel to it...

I think say all the positive things but add something about how hosts might need to review the house rules with him more than once?  Or that he struggled to follow them?  The reason I put question marks is that it's not clear that reiterating the rules would have worked, and it is clear he didn't struggle very hard lol.

But in reality, I think you need to be more direct.  You were somewhat annoyed - other hosts might have rules set up for their health (allergies and the like), and if can't follow them, that would be bad.  So say all the nice things but straight out say he didn't follow an assortment of house rules.  It's not clear whether he misunderstood them or just chose to ignore them.

[Ben551]

@Suzanne302 I think the “list of things” and your “feeling about the guest” are two entirely separate things. When you break each of those things down, one by one I’d say... meh... no biggie. But reading between the lines I can tell you felt genuinely awkward about this guest and he put you off a bit. No further explanation needed, if you ask me. When it comes to sharing your home, your instincts are everything and you should trust them.

As for how to relay this in the review, I would leave all the detailed things out of it and go with a broad statement like “Bob was genuinely nice and, for the most part, I believe he tried his best to navigate the rules in my shared space.”

...can you spot it? A good host will. There is an unsaid “but...” in that sentence. It’s not explicit, but if you’re renting a shared space it’s giving enough of a hint that this guy isn’t a barell of laughs to share space with.

[Suzanne302]

@Ben551 

Thanks for pointing that out. It's the conundrum, you tend to mitigate the bad things if the guest is a nice person. If he had been an **bleep**, the review would have been no problem! But since I believe he was a nice guy, it's hard for me to point out all the rules he broke.

[Kath9]

@Suzanne302, this is a really good question. I also have guests from time to time who aren't 'bad' but who are just annoying. Little things like failing to communicate arrival time (which is one of my absolute pet hates), not reading my arrival instructions and parking in some nonsensical place like behind someone else's car, putting rubbish in the wrong bins even though they are all clearly labelled, being scared of the dog, etc.In fact, often my 'guest radar' now detects up front whether they are going to be a bit annoying just from the message exchange we've had even before they arrive!

I love @Ben551's response: “Bob was genuinely nice and, for the most part, I believe he tried his best to navigate the rules in my shared space.” Will keep this up my sleeve for future reference!

[Sarah977]

@Suzanne302  How long did he stay? If it was just a night or two, I'd not do this, but if it was longer, I don't quite understand why hosts don't speak to the guest while they are there about ignoring all these things (Altho I understand he made you pretty uncomfortable). Like "So, XXX, I'm scratching my head here wondering why you are kind of ignoring the few things I make a point of mentioning- like why not put your stuff on the fridge shelf I designated and why put only some of the cans in the recycling and some in the garbage? Are you just not remembering, or is there actually a logical reason that I'm just not aware of?"

When you say these things like not to use the glassware are in your rules, where? In the House Rules on your listing, or in the house itself? 

Eating on the coffee table? That's probably what he does at home, it seems the natural thing to him.

With the social awkwardness, it almost sounds like the guy's on the autism spectrum, or perhaps had a head injury.

To be honest, I've had good friends come to stay with me that couldn't remember little things like this from one day to the next. Some people aren't actually in-the-moment, they're always thinking about something else rather than paying attention to the task at hand.

[Suzanne302]

@Sarah977 

I love how you are always a voice of reason. LOL! He only stayed 3 nights so I decided to grin and bear it, and hide out as much as possible! I did move his refrigerator items over to the empty guest shelves, although it felt very passive-aggressive.

Kitchen rules are in my listing and my house manual and although I don't explicitly say kitchen cabinets are off limits when doing the 60-second check-in tour, I do mention the guest shelves in the fridge, point out the coffee station and that the guest cabinet is just above the coffee station. I guess he did not get the cue that a guest cabinet was the only cabinet he should rummage through.

Definitely got an autism vibe because his written communication was perfectly normal. In person, definitely one of the weirdest, most awkward vibes I've ever encountered.

[Sarah977]

@Suzanne302   Like I said, I have friends who can't remember the details when they come to stay. Honestly, I think if we imagine it from a guest's point of view, it can be a lot to remember all the little "I'd like it done this way" instructions. Turning off lights and turning down heat or AC when they go out is just a respectful thing to do in anyone's home, but if the guest is travelling and staying in say, half a dozen Airbnbs, maybe one host wants them to put their stuff on the top shelf in fridge, then the next host wants them to put it on the middle shelf. One host wants them to only use dishes form cabinet x, the next tells them they can use any of the dishes. One host wants them to dry the dishes and put them back in the cabinet, the next wants them to just wash them and leave them in the dish drainer. One host may be able to recycle only certain items, the next can recycle almost everything.

We know how we like things done in our homes, we don't have to use a conscious thought process, but I think it can be a lot for a guest to remember all the details. And a lot of people tend to automatically do things the way they do at home.

I've only had one guest who was socially awkward. He was a nice enough guy, and kept to himself, didn't really use the common spaces at all, but I understand how it feels to have someone stay who you can't just easily talk to.

[Rebecca181]

@Suzanne302 I learned early on that most guests do not read the house rules in my listing (even though they say they did during the booking process); also, that they do not read the house rules included in the Welcome Binder. I therefore made a one page 'cheat sheet' that has my most important house rules on it and I put it on TOP of the Welcome Binder. During the check-in process I let the guest know that if they read nothing else, they have to read this cheat sheet to ensure they have an 'event free' stay. I really have had no problems with guests after implementing this 'must read the cheat sheet' requirement. So that's something else you might want to consider.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Suzanne302 

I really wish these types of people just stuck with hotels, motels or impersonal guest houses 🙂 

Why not just say in your review, the guest was mostly okay and seemed like a nice person but there were minor annoyances. No damage done and left the place clean, but used things not designated for guest use and was not good at following basic instructions. Not recommend for places that recycle. 

Then 4 stars all around - since technically 4 stars is "supposed" to be good. Except observance of house rules which I'd give 3 stars.