Leaving a bad review to a guest

[Julie173]

Hello 🙂

Im hosting now for few years but never (luckyly) had to leave a bad review to a guest. Today I'm a little torn about a situation and i'd like to have your opinion.

Ive hosted a couple for 3 nights. They both are polite, friendly and ultra clean... so clean that they take shower for 30 to 45 minutes each (water running) while listening loud music on their mobile. 

After shower, they occupy the bathroom for an other extra 30 minutes each to get ready. Or lock themself in the bathroom while they are talking to the phone for 10 to 15 minutes.

Its defenetly not the end of the world, but it makes me a little unconfortable since we are also a couple leaving in the house (only one bathroom).

Do you think that I should mention this issue public? If so, how should I speak about this so it doesnt sounds too rude?

Thanks for your help 🙂

[Kimberly54]

Hello, @Julie173,

This is not a guest problem, and they do not deserve a bad review, unless you have specified the amount of time they are allowed to occupy the bathroom--for any reason.  (Which is, under some circumstances, an unreasonable request.  Ever had 'the RUNS?' and can't get off 'the pot'?)

Right?

This is a strategic problem that belongs to you.

When I was a child, my family (four of us) lived in a tiny apartment with only one bathroom.  Dad liked to take his time... read the paper... my brother and I had to pee on the floor, asking, "DAAAAD????"  (Don't know what mom did...)

One potty, different preferences?  Not fair to your guests.

Written with kindness and best intent,

[Julie173]

Thanks for your answer,

I totally agree that to specify an amount of time for showering is an unreasonable request - It never even crossed my mind.

I also understand people who take their time once in a while - we all do it. But the two of them, 3 days in a row...really?

What I'm talking here is a lack of consciousness of what 'sharing' a space with other people means. 

Best regards,

julie

[Kimberly54]

Hi @Julie173,

You've hit it:  What is 'sharing'?

This is YOUR mind-set, and if you aren't clear about it, it becomes your problem.

It's that simple.

(Oh, and remember, they're paying you.)

Best always,

[Julie173]

Thanks for your feedback I appreciate,

Sharing is caring about others.

If you like to lock youself in the (only one) bathroom for 3 hours all together, each day, and think that it's normal, than an hotel (or a whole apprt/house) would be more suitable for you.

To your point that they are paying, would you also say the same for someone who's not doing his own dishes?

Thanks,

Julie

[Kimberly54]

Hi @Julie173,

I so apologize for making you feel defensive.

Caring and sharing are wonderful things as long as each understands.  But this isn't just caring and sharing... they are paying you, and there is a certain level of 'entitlement' that comes with paying for....something?  Until you set the rules.

Please though, do be mindful that these people are paying you, and if you are not completely clear about something as simple--or not-so-simple--as 'bathroom time,' this is absolutely not their fault.  Nor yours, (this time!) really... except that you have to move your awareness a little higher.  I'm NOTHING like my dad in the bathroom (not a stinky library!)--but for the short time I use the shower/tub/potty/lotions & potions, this room is my sanctuary.  I've also been a guest where shared bathrooms are the norm and it is NOT my sanctuary at all.  Good by me, as long as I know!

This is your first experience after some years, so perhaps just be a little clearer in your house rules?

As for dishes, this is so individual.  Me?  I want to be in the kitchen to be able to steal recipes, laugh, share stories... but clean-up is DEFINITELY mine.  They are my guests. REST! RELAX! Truth is, I want everything clean (MY definition, not someone else's), back in the RIGHT PLACE... and not broken.  Accidents happen, but I would rather it be mine than be pissed-off. 😉 

One bathroom would be a big 'wow' for me... as I mentioned, family history! 🙂   😞

Best!

[Julie173]

🙂 you are right, as I mentionned, its not the end of the world anyway.

It's just that having one bathroom has never been an issue for me... For example, I lived in a hostel with hundreds of people for 9 months sharing the same bathrooms (one bathroom per floor of multiple rooms of 4 to 10 people) and I saw people more mindful... that's all i'm saying 😉

thanks for your time,

Julie

[Kimberly54]

@Julie173, I completely understand!

Yep, youth hostels, lots of kids... I did that too (not for 9 months!)... but totally understand.  That was the protocol.  When we lived in these situations we HAD TO BE considerate in this manner.

Outside of restrictive living conditions like this, I think most AirBnB travelers will not be expecting hostel-type accommodations.

Yes?

Hey, if you've only had one experience like this, just update your House Manual! 

Best!

[Sue251]

Everyones different.  This might be totally normal behaviour for them and they are on holiday.  I dont think this behaviour deserves a bad review.  I had people rummage through my drawers and use my hair dryer and set up their stuff all over the house.  Everyone idea of normal and acceptable is different.  I just smile at our differences.  If they were great in every other way I would give them a good review.

[Steve2743]

I totally know what you mean! I grew up in a house with one bathroom, and it felt like we'd won the lottery when my dad finished the basement, including a second bathroom, and we suddenly didn't have to suffer when he took his 45 minute poop breaks!

As for the review, if they were good guests otherwise, I wouldn't mention it in the public review, but maybe politely mention it in the private feedback. If they've lived their whole lives with multiple bathrooms, it might not be something they've ever had to think about. Then change your house rules to include something like "As a single bathroom household, please be mindful of others who may need to use the bathroom Also. Especially first thing in the morning". 

Other things that might help would be providing a desk with a large mirror in the bedroom, so that they don't have to use the bathroom to do their hair and makeup. 

If that doesn't work, find the shutoff valve for your hot water tank (I'm kidding, but seriously....). 

[Helen3]

Hi @Julie173

I have to say I completely disagree with @Kimberly54.

It doesn't matter whether the guest is paying to stay with you, they signed up to staying in a listing with a shared bathroom and they shouldn't be hogging it.

I would just have a friendly chat with them, remind them it's a shared space and say it will be better for everyone if you can all agree to keep showers to ten minutes or so (plenty of time to shower/wash your hair) and let them know of anyone specific times you may need to use it - say for the half an hour before you leave for work or whatever.

You shouldn't be made to feel guilty by other hosts who have different views on shared bathroom space.

It's quite normal for hosts and guests to agree arrangements around use of shared spaces whether bathrooms or kitchens.

[Julie173]

Awesome, cheers everyone 🙂

Didn't know how descriptive we should be when comes the time to write a review about a less pleasant experience (I only encountered positives experiences in the past - it was always super easy to comment).

It's the first time I try the Airbnb Community. It was super helpful to discuss with you guys before to make any call on this situation.

Thanks 🙂

[Regina38]

I would have drawn the line at them talking on the phone in the only bathroom. I would have politely suggested another area t heitave a private conversation. And didnt your hot water run out? I ha guest call me and say hot water heater is broken. I asked her did she do laundry, did she do dishes, yes t both and how long of a shower> she said it was nice and hot and I was only in there for 45 minutes and now there is no hotwater for my boyfriend. He yelled she was in there for an hour with water tunning. haha

I explained this is a residence and not a hotel with unlimited hot water. I did offer to let the boufriend take a shower in the upstairs apartement because it was empty but he said he was fine and would wait for the hot water. THey had only been in the apartment for about 2 hour......good luck.