extra guest without informing - what's a fair review?

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

Hello fellow hosts. I’ve been following this forum since we’ve started hosting last February and learned a lot from your experiences. We are now superhosts with impeccable reviews from wonderful guests but today we need extra help.

We currently have a family who booked our place for 2 adults and 2 infants for 14 nights. We accepted the infants free of charge, in accordance with Airbnb guidelines. On arrival there were three adults with two infants and we were told that the grandma came only to help bathe the two babies.

Three days passed, during which we saw all three adults present on the premises -  early mornings and late evenings. We felt very uneasy and after a long debate between ourselves decided this morning to send a message through Airbnb, asking whether the grandmother stays with them, and if so -  that we’d like to talk to them.
After a while they came to us (we live upstairs) and said that the grandmother was indeed staying with them until now (three nights) but she will be leaving tonight and might want to stay another day or two later. We said it’s OK with us but our house rules state clearly that every guest should be mentioned when booking and that there’s an extra fee for each person after the first two guests.
They said there was no problem and that they would like to pay for the extra person towards the end of their stay. We agreed to that.

Now, after this long story was told, and assuming that they’ll pay the extra charge, I’m curious: should we mention this issue on their public review? Something like: “There was an issue with one of our house rules, but the matter was cleared up.”
Or - should we mention this only to Airbnb when asked if we want to say something discretely about the guests.
Or - we should not mention it at all and give them a good review.

Which of these three options would be most fair to the guests and to future hosts?

They look like nice people and have good reviews but we think it would have been decent to come to us and mention their change in plans rather than let us feel uneasy for 3 days and finally approach them.

[Isabel203]

How about "Although we spoke directly with so-and-so about our rule regarding unregistered guests and they assured us no additional people would be staying in the space, they had an additional, unregistered family member stay with them for three nights. After the fact, they did agree to pay for the additional guest. In future, they may be better suited to spaces where additional guests are welcome."

You may also want to consider holding off a bit on the review until you are sure that the extra payment has cleared. And maybe you should require payment in full BEFORE gramma is welcomed back?

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

Thank you for your reply, Isabel. Since our guests immediately explained grandma’s presence (without us asking) as help with babies bath, there wasn’t a reason to discuss issues of accurate booking and extra person pay upon their arrival.
Postponing review until full payment is received is a must. Not sure how we can require payment in full before we know exactly how many more days she’ll stay. Maybe that's a good reason to ask her to decide about her stay earlier than she intends.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Sharona-and-Gabi0

I would say write a couple nice things first (left the place in good condition, seemed like a nice family, babies are cute~ etc.) but wrap up with something along the lines of "would have appreciated clear communication about an additional guest staying for part of the reservation rather than telling us during check-in that the 3rd guest would be leaving soon (after helping with the infants) only to recant and acknowledge a 3rd guest when we asked about the additional guest on the 3rd day of their stay. As stated in our house rules, we are happy to allow additional guests so long as host is informed of total no. of guests and an extra fee for each person after the first two guests is paid. It caused us a bit of distress to have to bring it up, but glad it was cleared up quickly " 

My experience is, most people who push boundaries are actually nice people - they know others have trouble being firm if they smile and act nicely. So it's their way of getting what they want. 

Please make sure you send them messages thru airbnb summarizing what you discussed and inform them that you "will send a request for additional payment for the 3rd guest based on total no. of days she stayed (counting 3 days till today), on the day before check-out" with a HUGE smiley face. Also, since they have an additional guest, maybe you could ask about whether they need any additional ammenities since you only put out enought for 2 adults - just as an excuse to "check up" on those guests. 

If I were to catch anyone in a lie like that, I would keep a close eye on them and not let my guard down. 

Also, make sure you do not leave a review before they actually accept and agree to your additional payment request. You have 14 days after check-out to write a review, and you should make sure they own up and pay up first. Good luck~!! 

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

@Jessica-and-Henry0  Hi Jessica & Henry. Thank you so much for your reply. I love your attitude - writing nice things first and handling the situation with a smile in spite of our bad feelings. Sending clear messages through Airbnb is most important in case we need their intervention; thank you for emphasizing that. Yes, we’ll wait until they pay before writing a review.
Your answer, as well as Isabel’s, lead me to understand that this behavior can’t be ignored and should be mentioned in a public review.
Not easy for us, but seems fair.

[Kate157]

Hi @Sharona-and-Gabi0 would have confronted the guests earlier about the extra guest. I would have explained there is a fee for this, and I would probably have let things go along if they agreed to pay. As she is  assumedly an older woman, I would not really be concerned with safety or security. While I am strict about extra guests, I wouldn't bother with a bad review because Grandma wants to stay. If that was the only issue, as long as you get your fee, I'd be ok. But it is up to you how it plays out.

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

Hi @Kate0, Thank you so much for offering another point of view. We have been thinking about this incident after reading the previous replies and are glad to have enough time to make a fair decision.

We love to host and meet our guests almost on a daily basis while working in the garden or attending to their needs. Most of our guests are tourists who visit their families in Israel, so we get to meet some family members as well. All of them - guests, and guests of guests - have respected our hospitality and haven’t taken advantage of it, so we feel blessed:)
Our current guests obviously made a mistake, but if they keep the rules of the house for the rest of their stay, and of course, if they pay, we now feel that we might not mention it on their public review. We hope they learn from this experience not to risk their good name, not even for grandma...We might even write them a private note that ignoring the rules is not worth it because other hosts will not be as generous.

The bottom line is choosing to make a fair decision rather than making a “right” or “wrong” one.

Conclusions:
1. We have decided to print the rules of the house and present them in a way that every guest sees them upon arrival (no more “mistakes").
2. We have decided to install cameras that show who comes and goes and when (no more guessing if extra people are staying).

[Clara116]

@Sharona-and-Gabi0 Hello, I'm following this challenge and the advice from others and I think it is so good that you are both thinking and weighting out carefully how you respond. Good for you! If you believe they made an honest mistake -  When you review: I think you are wise to send a private message as you mentioned about other host not being like you!!! Excellent. As you read so many host have different approaches. If they are good people when you submit through Resolution Center - the added amount for nights and they accept and you get that payment AND leave your place in great shape - and you still believe they just made a mistake - I wouldn't write a negative review. But, if you do what I have read from the pros on here is wait atleast 14 days before posting that negative review.  Good Luck and happy hosting.............I too love hosting and find it a fun intriquing new adventure at this phase in my life.

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

Hi @Clara116. Thank you for understanding our internal conflict. We don't want to feel unfair to future hosts by not revealing publicly this information, but if all goes well, there are other ways not to ignore such a behavior - writing a private note to the guests and even mentioning this discretely to Airbnb in the review process. These choices might also protect us if we end up going to the resolution center. 

Wow! It is exhausting to try to find what will be fair to everyone.

[Kate157]

@Sharona-and-Gabi0 Obviously you are wise hosts! I think your solution is a good one.

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

@Kate157 Thank you so much for your support! 

[Debbi4]

We own a 5 Star B&B and while reading your post a couple issues come to mind.  You are operating a business out of your home and it is up to you to regulate (and enforce) the guidelines otherwise you will be subject to 'advantage taking' behaviours of some guests.  You would have been completely 'in the right' to address this after the first day with your guests and indicate to them that there is an extra fee for the additional person of which the payment was due at that time, not at the end of their stay.  It is likely that you may not recieve payment.  As a business owner myself, I typically am very careful about reviews, however, it is important that a 'respectful heads up' to other potential Air B&B Hosts be made available.  There is always a way to speak the truth without trashing the guests even when it is highly suspicious that their activity is questionable.

I wish you all the best in your decision

[Sharona-and-Gabi0]

Hi @Debbi0. We didn't address the issue on the first day because we weren't sure this was really happening. Family members are living nearby and grandma could have spent the night with them, coming back to our place in the early morning. We had to be sure before confronting them with a direct question.
We want to put this matter behind us so we'll wait until grandma comes back or no later then a week before departure.
Loved your observation: "There is always a way to speak the truth without trashing the guests".
Thank you!

[Donald28]

Ypu could have called airbnb superhost phone number and told the story to a CSR. I had a similar instance and told the CSR that I didn't want to ask the guests for the extra person fee because I'd possibly get a less than perfect review. 

The airbnb CSR agreed and gave me the extra person fees from their own account (airbnbs account) without even mentioning it to the guests. 

So everyone was happy! I ended up getting a great review, saving face and getting the extra person fees. 

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Donald28 @Debbi4 @Kate157 @Sharona-and-Gabi0

I honestly think those guests were trying to save a few bucks thinking, "if the host brings it up we can always just pay later." It's probably not the first time they tried to pull something like this. At check-in, they said grandma was not staying and would be leaving after helping with the babies. Then they turn around and immediately grandma stays for a 3 whole days??? They had 3 days to recant and tell the host that there is an additional guest staying, compared to the reservation. They kept quiet hoping the host would not bring it up.