My two bookings got canceled because of a "subject issue." H...
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My two bookings got canceled because of a "subject issue." Here's the message I received from Airbnb: "It looks like the phot...
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Never a dull moment.
A guest who recently checked in sent me a text saying that on the way to our cottage they "drove by a number of houses with Confederate flags" and asked if we are warning guests that they may also have this experience. I don't know which route they took to get to our space, but our place is in a rural area where there is a mix of political beliefs. We certainly don't have any Confederate flags at our cottage.
I am thinking of just saying "I am sorry you had this upsetting experience on the way to our space. I hope you will be able to relax and unwind and enjoy your stay. Thanks for the heads up and let me know if you need anything." Thoughts? Should I copy the conversation into the Airbnb messaging as well?
How dare you not control and monitor every aspect of the surroundings leading to your home...LOL
I am totally kidding. Most reasonable people would understand that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, political or otherwise. I think your response is good, you acknowledged their concern, apologized, and offered them a well wish for their stay. There is nothing additional that needs to be said.
I thought I had heard it all . . . I'm speechless.
@Jennifer1897, @Jennifer1897, @Emilia42,
Without seeing the conversation with the guest or the number and proximity of the flags to the Firefly cottage, the prepared statement may be appropriate. Please try to appreciate someone else's life experiences. For some people, the confederate flag represents more than just recognition for a period in US history; a time of fear and subjugation. Just try to think about a time when you may have been in an unfamiliar place, and felt intimidated by the people in close proximity to you. I doubt that you would have found much comfort if someone said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I hope you can relax if you go sit in the corner. Let me know if you want something to drink or eat."
@Laura2592 I might respond something like "Well, we've certainly seen them, too, but we don't have any control over what our neighbors' politics might be. Nor do we consider it our business as to what political beliefs our guests might hold, so warning guests about that would seem like a presumptuous thing for us to do. I'm sorry if it upset you, but all we have control over is to make sure you have a comfortable stay at our cottage. Hope you settle in okay and do let us know if you need anything."
@Laura2592 How would you feel if you came to visit Berlin, and saw swastika banners hanging from my neighbors' balconies? Not that you would - that symbol is strictly illegal in Germany - but I certainly wouldn't take that as an occasion to condescend to you for being alarmed or worried for your safety as an outsider.
Perhaps it's easy to forget when it's just a normal background detail in your region, but like the Third Reich banners, the Confederate flag also represents something extreme and deeply painful. We're far past the point in time where there's any plausible deniability that one's intentions in flying it are confrontational and inextricable from white supremacist ideology. I don't think this necessitates a warning or disclaimer on your listing, especially considering that these sightings may have occurred many miles away from your cottage. But I agree with @Debra300 that you would do well to acknowledge that the guest is processing something upsetting, and might appreciate a more engaged and compassionate response. You may be their only contact in the area, so how you respond will have an outsized impact on whether they feel safe or any sense of solidarity in your community.
Circling back, I do often find myself in the awkward position of comforting visitors who find themselves taken aback by the stark reminders of the many traumas embedded in Berlin's modern history, and shocked by how persistent Nazism is just at the edge of the mainstream. I could rightfully question why they chose a destination like this of all places, but that is not 5-star hospitality. Knowing that guests have chosen my home as a refuge in a world that can be frightening, a little reassurance goes a long way.
@Anonymous , @Debra300 , I understand that this has taken this guest by surprise. I can't say that I know where they are seeing these on the journey, nor how to account for that. Its certainly unpleasant for them and I get that completely. But as a host, my space is the only thing I have control over. If a group of guests got into a bar fight on the way to my cottage because of a racial epithet I can understand how they would be rattled and upset but would hope that they would not hold me accountable for that. I think I need to show sensitivity and redirect them to understanding what I do and do not control.
What I ended up saying is
"I am so sorry you had that experience. Please let me know which route you took so that I can be aware for future guests. We certainly don't support the displaying of such objects or endorsing the sentiment they represent in our space, and hope that you find it a relaxing oasis. I have a number of suggestions of things to visit in the surrounding area in the house guide but please contact me for updated ideas if any of them cause you to have to revisit your initial route in. Thanks so much for letting me know about this."
Strangely, this guest also contacted me to say that the key code wasn't working and gave me a number we used last year. I have no idea how they would have that as it is not the number I sent them. I do wonder if they stayed previously and have to ask. That's a little odd to me.
@Laura2592 I think that's a very good response. It shows acknowledgment of their feelings and willingness to help, without appearing to take responsibility for anything outside of your purview. There will always be something random that guests could be bothered by - bad weather, traffic, event cancellations, attraction closures, etc. It's unpleasant to feel like you're being held accountable for things like that, but patiently suggesting alternative ideas and making yourself available for moral support is about the best you can do.
I do hope the guests have an answer about the door code that makes sense.
@Anonymous me too. I am really puzzled by that. On the one hand, if they got a code from a friend you would think the friend would say "hey, look out for the racist flags on your way in. We passed a few houses and it was creepy." I am trying to figure out a way to ask without sounding accusatory. I really don't want people sharing our codes.
@Anonymous we do. But our device only generates 24, So we rotate and keep track.
@Laura2592 - I think that's a really respectful and considerate response. I find it frustrating when I see responses like "I'm sorry if you feel that way", as it can often be read by the receiver as you saying that they're exaggerating or being unreasonable. I particularly like that you showed that you really have thought about how this might be distressing and have offered to help them find alternatives. If I were in a similar position, I would find it very validating to get a response like that from a host. Well done.
Just leave a one word review for them. "Karen." Future hosts will understand.
Good grief, there's a lot of people out there with too many triggers to stay anywhere other than a hotel.
And, actually - those people should just be noted "better suited to a hotel."
I remember some young ladies who stayed with me (I live in a historic neighborhood) who raved about the apartment but called the nearby area a little "Sketchy." Yep - tree lined streets and some huge mansions a few blocks away. But I guess we are too close to the "hood" for their taste. Guess they won't be back - lol!
@Christine615 "Sketchy neighborhood" is universal Karen code for "I saw a nonwhite pedestrian."
😂For real. We'd never met so it was probably me or my husband walking or driving past the property. We live around the corner. ROFL!