$5000 application

[William179]

Application for $5000

[Gordon0]

I'm not sure it's going to be quite as simple as this, @William179, but good luck all the same.

[Anonymous]

I hereby submit my application for $1,000,000. 

Best regards,

Andrew

[Helen350]

lol

[Mitchell101]

loooool

[Sarah977]

I'm going for the whole $250 million plus the entire $10 million for Superhosts. Wait, hear me out, this is a great plan that I think all hosts would be happy to support.

First of all, everyone is saying that the 12.5% is a total insult, chump change and nowhere near enough to make a darn bit of difference. It's so piddly, it's pointless, right? So you're not even going to miss it. Then, it seems like only a few Superhosts will be eligible for the other fund, and they'll be "chosen" by Airbnb. Unfair, right? So this is a great opportunity for you to refuse to participate in such evil doings.

See, once I have that $35 million, I'll be in a whole different class, and I'll be able to hang with the CEOs and then I'll exert tremendous influence on them in ways that will benefit all hosts.

So anyone who thinks I should get the entire wad, I'll be setting up a petition you can sign by tomorrow afternoon.

[Inna22]

@Sarah977 I am in support of your petition, please send a link when you have it. Let me know when you are hiring someone to manage the money. I have a very impressive resume: several money loosing Airbnb’s, several money loosing children. It can only go up from here so I know I will do great for you. Please do not forget to give me a password to your bank account. If you do, it’s ok. My Russian friends will help me figure it out. 

[Sarah977]

Oops, typo, and too late to edit. I'll end up with $260 million, not $35 million. That's better.

[Helen350]

LOL!

[David6773]

lool

[William179]

Money is the route to all evil  ,  and I'm rooting for it.

[Sarah977]

Okay, after conferring with my team, it was pointed out to me that there have to be more perks involved in getting all of you to sign my petition apart from the promise that I'll influence the CEOs to provide better treatment to all hosts. So everyone who signs my petition will be put on a mailing list and you'll receive exciting daily photos and videos of me shopping for my new executive wardrobe and yachting attire, test driving a few different luxury cars before choosing two or three, gabbing on the phone with Brian and Nick to set up a working champagne lunch (where I'll be bringing up all your concerns), and giving you weekly updates on the progress of my upward mobility. And the host who stands to get the largest accumulation of 12.5% payouts will get a free 2 night stay in one of the beachfront mansions I'll be purchasing.

You'll want to read the fine print on my EC policy, though, which essentially says that unless every host who is due back any 12.5% payments, or thinks they might qualify for that Superhost fund signs it all over to me, all those perks will evaporate and I'll never put in a good word for you with the company execs again.

[Ute42]

.

Hi @Anonymous  ,

this is Ute, the $260 Million case manager at airbnb.

After having gone through the extensive paperwork You have provided I decided to approve Your application. Pls submit Your bank account number.

@Sarah977 , Your application also got approved. But as Andrew gets $1 M already there are only $259 M left – I hope You understand. Same here: Pls submit Your acc-No.

To everyone else out there who now get's nothing: Sorry but I really don't feel like going through 10,000 applications. Case closed and I'm done with this.

[Susan17]

I hope you're all gonna share with your Potless Paddy mate when you make bank.. 

[Inna22]

@Ute42 I am @Sarah977  financial manager. We Would like to pay you a commission for your hard work. We will send you a money order for 300mm and you can deposit the balance into our bank account. We have decided to go with a bank in Nigeria as it has great reviews from others who received similar settlements