I don’t ask for the names of the other guests. I ask more about the relationships between the guests, and try to get a gut feel for whether I feel comfortable and whether my place is a good fit for the group. However, I certainly understand the need other hosts might have, and don’t consider it out of line to ask at all.
I think a lot of people are familiar with hotels, and hotels (in the US at least) only ask for primary guest ID and number of people in the group. I know there are hotels in other countries, though, where the government requires collection of IDs from all guests. The guest calling you unprofessional is being unreasonable, and what she is saying about your professionalism is simply untrue. Her vehement response makes me wonder if she’s hiding something.
It’s been a difficult and lengthy process to educate guests that there are a lot more concerns with someone’s home than there are with a hotel room, as you have described. If I were you, I would be relieved not to host someone as inflexible as this guest. People should understand the difference between a hotel and someone’s home by now.
Having said that, I don’t think Airbnb should require IDs from all of the guests in the group. There are many countries, hosting styles, traditions and customs in our community, and for the most part, the onus is on the host to do their own requirement-setting and vetting.