"I am doing you the service of booking with you"

[Laura2592]

Uh...

Got a booking inquiry that said this:

"Hi Laura-

I am interested in booking your cottage. Looks very nice. I do wonder why there is a guest limit. Your place has 2 bathrooms which others in the area do not have and those one bathroom places sleep 6-8 people. We plan to bring between 5-7 family members and our dog a 50lb well-trained lab. I am doing you the service of booking with you so I would like to understand why you wouldn't allow me to bring more people to align with other places I am looking at. I wouldn't want to lose the money if I were you. Please respond soon as I am making my decision. Thanks!"

I mean....can people get any more entitled?

[Elaine701]

@Laura2592 

For us, it would be an instant decline. The only explanation would be "thanks for your inquiry, but we aren't interested'. 

[Sarah977]

@Laura2592  I think this one might be the winner of the yearly Clueless Inquiry Award. However, 2021 is still young, and there could be another serious contender come along.

[Laura2592]

This is my reply:

" Hi-

From what you describe, our cottage is not a fit for your group. It sounds as though you have other options which would work better for your stay and I would invite you to book those properties. Each Airbnb host sets the rules and limits in their homes based on what they are comfortable with as property owners-- the reasons behind those rules and limits is not something any guest has ever asked us to provide, nor is it appropriate to do so. I wish you the best and am sure you will find a place that suits your family."

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Laura2592 

So perfect! May the rest of your day go superbly!

[Sarah977]

@Laura2592  "am sure you will find a place that suits your family." aka their own home 🙂

I pity the host whose place suits their family. They'll likely leave the place a disaster area, seeing as how they have done the host a service by booking his place. 

Very restrained response, hats' off.

[Ann783]

What a great reply!

[Cathie19]

@Laura2592. You’ve won the lottery for being the professional host with a fantastic backhand! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[Olivia-and-Olivier0]

Yikes 😬 sounds like definitely a “no, thanks you for doing me a service.” I personally would rather lose money, than my sanity! These types of guests sometimes ask a full refund after staying, (can they also un-stay the night? 🙂 or threaten to give dishonest feedback as a blackmail for not putting up with all their entitlement.
All these little cues, in style of writing, are so important when, later on, you get a problem or even, they need to ask for something.

Sorry you had to deal with such people, even just in brief messages. For me it would be an instant No, but I will not tell you what you should do.

Sending love and light, good luck, use your best instincts!

[Lawrene0]

"Oh my goodness, Biff! Look at you: new to the platform and already such an expert! Normally I'd be over the moon to have you doing me the service of bursting my cottage at the seams with so many of your friends and relatives and that well-trained dog, but we're so swamped in respectful guests at the moment that I can't even think about it. Thanks so much for your concern for our financial position, but I know you will be happy to hear we are absolutely fine with losing out like this. Yours, @Laura2592 "

[Sarah977]

@Lawrene0  Love it. That is exactly the response they deserve.

The only thing you left out was "Bless your heart".

[Laura2592]

@Lawrene0 LOL this is awesome!

[Laura2592]

Annd Biff  wrote back...

"LOL I think you need a lesson in customer service. You missed out on $$ but that isn't my problem. Thanks."

Charmer. 

[Colleen253]

@Laura2592  The only thing you missed out on was a massive headache. Well dodged.

[Laura2592]

@Colleen253 well I missed out on cleaning up after his fluid guest numbers. And the dog. Because that is a privilege doncha know.

This reminds me of the whole trend toward "pickup artists" a decade or so ago. Books were written on how men should "neg" people they were interested in to try and create some sort of reverse psychological demand. It is not a strategy for success. At least he wasn't savvy enough to just sneak the 5-7 family members in. 

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592  As IF! Your calendar is loaded with bookings, it's not like you're going to miss out on a paycheck if Prince Charming doesn't book his family of five to seven into your cottage. 

I think he better call Tyrone.