Guests taking advantage/imposing

[Magdalene11]

Hi

My partner and I live in Hobart, Tasmania and we  have been hosting (on and off)  for a few years now.

Our experiences have been rather pleasant until recently when the person in question put a very negative private feedback after her two-week stay at our house.  Even though her feedback was private, they hurt because they are not true.

Both of us bent backwards to make her stay comfortable but in the end, I had enough as she was so imposing and manipulative with her expectations.  She felt we had to cater to all her needs, including borrowing personal items from us and the last straw was when she ate our bread and hardly left any for our lunch.  She did buy a new loaf "to share" the next day, but that's not the point - she never asked us for permission and presumed that it was ok to help herself to our bread.

She claimed that I have a lot of Do's and Dont's - but they are just our general house rules eg please don't put crystal glasses in the dishwasher - and on another occasion after she borrowed a pair of nail clippers from us (which I thought was ridiculous due to obvious hygiene issue but unfortunately my partner Greg agreed to lend them to her) - she left them on the dining table after her use.  Of course, I had to say to her - please do not put them dirty clippers there - and she was not happy!  She retorted that she has no disease and attempted to clean them with alcohol wipes.

Then, to top it off, she commented that our room was dark, cold and mildewy.  There is a big window in her room - all she has to do was to open the blinds if she needed more light, the house has central heating - or put the electric blanket on if it's a cold night  (I also gave her two extra woollen blankets, as well as lending her my dressing gown to make her comfortable) - but my kindness was not appreciated.  All she did was to borrow this and that throughout her stay with us.  The list is endless.

She also insisted on using our washing machine which is located in between our bedroom and bathroom - so when I pointed that we do not provide laundry facility to our guests - she retorted "I don't see why not".  I felt I was living in her house rather than the oppositre.

To put it bluntly, she was not a nice person even though she was always smiling and saying "thank you's" but her imposing nature and expectations from a host were way too much.  Hence, when I read her private comments, I was very upset.

What should I do with a guest like that in future?  Do I have a cause to ask that guest to leave before the expiry of their booking?

Any advice will be much appreciated.  Thank you.

[Huma0]

@Ingridjee0 

Your guest sounds more than demanding. It sounds like he has mental health issues. How much longer is he staying?

[Magdalene11]

Unfortunately, she was a "good riddance" guest and due to covid, we have stopped hosting - for now, anyway, as it is a shared house.

[Huma0]

@Magdalene11 

Yes, I've had guests like these, constantly demanding more, more, more, never thankful for anything and going into my personal cupboards, using my personal items and ignoring numerous house rules. In hindsight, I should have asked these guests to leave and just refunded them the remaining nights. They were going to leave a bad review anyway. These entitled types think that it is your duty to provide them with whatever THEY want because they are paying for the stay. They do not care what you stated as offered in the listing. If you say no, they are going to slam you in the review. If you say yes, they will keep asking for more, not appreciate any of it as they see it as their right, rather than you doing them a favour/going above and beyond and they will still find things to complain about in the review.

I've had many other, quite pleasant guests, who were great in other respects, but still help themselves to things they shouldn't. It's one of the risks of hosting in your own home. Some people just don't get that your home is also going to include your personal things and they should not assume that everything they see is there for their use. I find it weird as they are clearly sharing the listing with me and other guests.

Some examples:

- Most common is guests helping themselves to my toiletries. I supply all the basics like body wash, shampoo, conditioner, hand soap, face cloths etc. but if they see something of mine they like the look of, they just help themselves, even opening new, packaged items or taking things from my personal cupboard.

- Of course I supply towels (and plenty of them) but some guests take mine or other guests' towels as well.

- It's rare, but I've had guests who help themselves to my food, assuming everything in the fridge or kitchen is for them, which is bizarre as there's no catering offered as part of the listing, just the usual tea, coffee, sugar etc. I even had one long term guest who thought that the contents of the wine fridge was included and helped herself to a bottle of wine every night.

- Using my address as if it's their permanent home (even though the rules state no mail/packages). I even had one guest let her cousin (who was not staying) use it for her visa application.

I do a pretty thorough tour at check in where I show the guests all the things that are for their use. It's also mentioned in my house rules that they should not help themselves to other people's things, so not sure what more I can do. I don't want to upset guests by making a fuss over small things, so I usually just let it go (except for the mail issue and also the wine as it was getting out of control). 

Would you say anything? Or, would you mention it in the private feedback? Or, just not mention it at all?

[Magdalene11]

Luckily, she was a one-off bad egg of a guest about two years ago.

Just to share, I did have another bad experience after that one - as against my better judgment, I took in a guy for one night stay on Christmas eve as his car had broken down.  I rejected his request but he pleaded and pleaded and so I relented and allowed him to stay.  But when he left on Christmas Day - I found he had eaten food on his bed - found stains on bed linen and the toilet was filthy.  How could anyone make so much mess in an overnight stay?  Can you imagine how livid I was having to clean up his mess on Christmas Day? Trust me, I wrote him a nasty private message about not respecting our home, etc, and left a review reading something like that "he was nice" but......  Gave him a low score for cleanliness - also not recommended. 

Now, here's the saddest part of the story - ie, to put salt in my wound, silly Old Me gave him a box of chocolates as it was Christmas - definitely, before realizing what a mess he had left behind for me to clean up on Christmas Day.

As I said in my other message, I haven't done any AirBnB hosting for the last two years due to Covid so, in a way, have not been stressed by any more unpleasant guests.

Hope your future guests are all nice and appreciative of what you do for them.

Cheers.