@Elizabeth61 You are confusing terms and it's important for you as a host to understand the difference.
Inquiries- There will be an option to Pre-approve or Decline. You only have to respond via message to the guest in order to not be penalized. Ignore the messages from Aiorbnb urging you to click on one of the options if you have already messaged the guest. If you have to message back and forth with the guest to get things straight beyond the 24 hour window, the Inquiry will expire. Then if you and the guest have worked things out and they still want to book, they can send a Booking Request which you can approve, or another Inquiry if you still have things to talk about.
Booking Requests- the options are Approve or Decline. You do have to choose one of those within the 24 hour window or you'll be penalized. But you can still exchange messages with the guest before clicking on anything, as long as you do that within the 24 hour window.