the host should not be expecting you to do deep cleans.
What sort of reviews did the host have ? Did previous guests mention this.
Of course the host should be there at the agreed check in time, so something to mention in the review.,
As you have become friends with the host, just sit down and have a chat with her and say that although you are happy to clean up after yourself in communal areas/wash your own clothes etc, it isn't appropriate to ask a guest to do heavy duty cleaning.
Quite honestly if it is too much for her, she should get in a cleaner.
i would never dream of asking a guest to do this in my shared home however long they were staying.