Single first time female host. Hosting a male.

[Claire56]

Good evening. I live in south Africa. I'm generally not scared for my own safety - as I'm always alert- good with my safety. I'm expecting my first guest on the weekend. Which is a single French man travelling alone. I don't care what nationality - and will already lock my door at night. But if he doesn't go anywhere or stays at home if I'm here - am I expected to 'entertain him' not in a sexual way.. but constantly make conversation and friendly etc... or do I just do my own thing - cause it's weekend and he does his ? It's my first booking... I need a GREAT review to attract other potential guests ??

[Marcus0]

Hi @Claire56 I would say just behave normally as if it were a long term flat mate.  No need to entertain, just pleasant conversation at the start to introduce him to your place but then leave it at that.  Guests typically just want to feel welcome but then want to have their own space.  Show him around then get on with your life will result in a good review.

If you are on your own and hosting any gender, its best to ensure the guests you approve have a history of good behaviour/reviews on Airbnb.  Also, make sure you have a plan B if something does happen.  Maybe have your friend drop in or call late evening just to say Hi.  Just some thoughts for you...

[Claire56]

Thank you Marcus. Im so excited to have my first guest, but at the same time because he is a male and travelling on his own I'm a bit wiery ( unfortunately us south Africans are sceptical of everything) I don't expect any trouble, and will lock my bedroom door at night. But my thought are : what do I do if he stays at the house all day - surely they should be out exploring etc.. I will have a friend call. But also .. Won't it be rude if my friends pop in for a hello if I'm hosting
.? Or is that expected ? If so then I'll Def have a friend pop in to also 'suss' out the situation etc. . Thank you for your help !

[Ed-and-Hugh0]

You'll find that most guests probably spend time exploring the area, but it's possible to have guests that hang out at the house most of the time too. You don't have to entertain them, and if you want to have friends over, that's fine. We've had friends over for dinner parties...sometimes the guest will join in...other times they're out exploring.

[Claire56]

thank you for this advise. You remember as a first timer all these questions running through you head. So thanks for giving me some feedback. Greatly appreciated.

[Alice18]

Hi Claire,

I am sure that your French guest will be as respectful as you allow them to be.

Other that accommodating your guest showing them the room and shared areas, you do not have to entertain your guest any further.

In some places, if you were do offer him extra substantial services, you could be required to report and pay extra taxes.

If your guest spends a lot of time at home and in the shared areas, try to be friendly but not to engage in any unplanned prolonged activity or conversation.

I am also a woman, and although I do not live alone, I am sometimes alone during the day.

I had several guests, most people are really respecful of your privacy and time and will not bug you except for things related to their stay at your place.

Some guests might ask you to help them find things in the kitchen (for example if you include use of the kitchen),

they might ask you to share kitchen ingredients, to borrow things, or to show them how to use somthing such as the launry.

If somebody does this, it should already alert you to watch out for their actual intentions and next move.

If a guest is taking too much of your time you should let them know that you are not responsible for doing all this for them and

try to simply spend time in another room, let them know you cannot help them any further and that you are busy.

I am sure you will get a positive review.

[Claire56]

Thank you Alice. I'm so excited to host my first guest, but also nervous. I have had 12 years of sub letting spare rooms in my house to friends/ housemates - but not like this. So I'm a little but sceptical- so all your advise is greatly appreciate. Thank you.

[Nikita0]

Hi @Claire56,

I am also a single female living alone who sometimes hosts men. I have in my profile that female guests or couples are preferred, but I do still sometimes get requests from men travelling alone. I try to engage in a bit of back and forth conversation over the airbnb messenger to make sure I feel comfortable and I trust my instincts - I have denied 1 or 2 requests because I felt uncomfortable but for the most part everyone has been great. I recently had two long term male guests, both travelling alone. One was out nearly the whole time - I barely saw him (ideal!). The other one would only go out for 1-2 hours a day and be around the rest of the time. It was a bit odd but I was just polite, made some small talk, and then went about my day as if he was a flatmate. Don't feel like you need to entertain them in any way. I have had a few guests that I really hit it off with and we would have a drink and chat - but I also had one guest who asked me (innocently) to attend an event he was in town for with him. It was just a friendly ask, but I politely informed him I was busy and it was no big deal. The vast majority of the guests I have had don't expect me to entertain them at all. 

I have had many guests who I literally never saw at all - they were tourists out and about and our hours at home just wouldn't overlap, and because my place is clean and true to its description, the reviews have still been great, even without any interaction! 

I remember being nervous about my first few guests - it gets easier! Happy hosting!

[Janet411]

I live alone in a small house with my little dog. I've just become a host and my first enquiry w from a single man. Is it OK to state on my profile I only accept females or married couples  

[Letti0]

@Janet411  It is absolutely okay to so this. 

Airbnb’s Nondiscrimination Policy: Our Commitment to Inclusion and Respect

Airbnb hosts may

• Make a unit available to guests of the host’s gender and not the other, where the host shares living spaces with the guest.

https://www.airbnb.com/help/article/1405/airbnb-s-nondiscrimination-policy--our-commitment-to-inclus...

[Nikita0]

Hi @Claire56,

I am also a single female living alone who sometimes hosts men. I have in my profile that female guests or couples are preferred, but I do still sometimes get requests from men travelling alone. I try to engage in a bit of back and forth conversation over the airbnb messenger to make sure I feel comfortable and I trust my instincts - I have denied 1 or 2 requests because I felt uncomfortable but for the most part everyone has been great. I recently had two long term male guests, both travelling alone. One was out nearly the whole time - I barely saw him (ideal!). The other one would only go out for 1-2 hours a day and be around the rest of the time. It was a bit odd but I was just polite, made some small talk, and then went about my day as if he was a flatmate. Don't feel like you need to entertain them in any way. I have had a few guests that I really hit it off with and we would have a drink and chat - but I also had one guest who asked me (innocently) to attend an event he was in town for with him. It was just a friendly ask, but I politely informed him I was busy and it was no big deal. The vast majority of the guests I have had don't expect me to entertain them at all. 

I have had many guests who I literally never saw at all - they were tourists out and about and our hours at home just wouldn't overlap, and because my place is clean and true to its description, the reviews have still been great, even without any interaction! 

I remember being nervous about my first few guests - it gets easier! Happy hosting!

[Heidi125]

I think it very much depends on the space . I live in a 700 square foot space with a second bedroom.  Every single guy but two have hit on me.  I have a herniated disc in my neck and the one asked me if I would lay down and he could massage my neck.  I am in my 40's and one 70 year old asked me why I invite men into my home as a single woman and don't I fear they will rape me.  OMG.  He then told me he only likes younger women and wanted me to entertain him.  The last guy, who just left told me on the 5th night of staying told me that I am like a gold coin that he just can't help but pick up.  He wants to take me to Hawaii.  Um, what?  I have on my profile that I have a boyfriend, made sure beforehand that he knew there was no flirting and that I have a boyfriend.  He did it anyway.  I had to empty out my deceased mother's apartment while he was here and when he came home one day, after me returning from my mom's, I was crying.  He told me that he felt that I was vulnerable and in need of rescue.  NO.  I went over everything before he came..house rules, no flirting, not much talking, etc.  Well, it didn't work.  He came in every night after work smelling of alcohol.  Today I wrote that due to my small space and shared spaces, I will accept "women only." That's it.  I am a single female, tiny and I couldn't sleep every single time one of these men hits on me.  Many of them.....married.  The 70 year old...told me his life story.  NO.  If I had a large house, this hopefully would not have happened.  Not sure about this anymore.  

[Paul154]

You will quickly find your style of hosting.

No, you do not have to entertain your guests.

Greet yes, answer some questions and be prepared to professionally shut down most intimate conversations.

The real skilled professionals are able to enforce boundaries in such a positive way that  the guests don't even notice they are being admonished..

I admire these people and take notice.

No politics, no religion, no sexy talk.

[Janet411]

Is it OK to refuse single men as I live alone

[Sarah977]

@Janet411   Yes, you can say you accept female guests or female guests and couples only. (which sounds nicer than "refusing men"). Make sure that is prominently mentioned in your listing description (not your profile). Then make sure to verify, when someone books, by messaging the guests to make sure they read that part of your listing.

As to the guest who you say just made an inquiry, try to be really polite when you answer him-say that you are new to hosting and forgot to mention that in your listing description and that you're sorry.

By the way, I'm also a single female, and I've had lovely, respectful male guests, but I know this isn't always the case for all female hosts, so we all just need to decide for ourselves if we feel comfortable with it.