Telling a guest “no”

[Jonie3]

Hi fellow hosts! I seem to have a re-occurring issue.... Guests that don’t read my listing through and then expect access to things that are not part of the listing. Or taking advantage of my ‘courtesy’ breakfast items I provide, by eating it for snack and dinner and then asking for more for breakfast. When they ask, I always politely say “sorry, no” and give a friendly explanation. But it seems that me politely telling guests “no” automatically sours the relationship and makes me worried they’ll leave me a bad review, even though everything else has been stellar. 

I mean, I’m not a hotel! Everything I provide as a courtesy comes directly out of my pocket. I can’t afford to be every guests’ all-you-can-eat buffet. I’m doing this to make some side cash, not spend all my earning on muffins and coffee! And I’m super clear in my listing the areas that are open to guests and all other living areas are off limits, so NO, you cannot come upstairs and do your laundry. 

Sorry for the rant, here’s my questions. Am I wrong in saying no? Should I give them whatever they want just to keep them happy? What do you do? 

[Ian-And-Anne-Marie0]

@Jonie3 

Am I wrong in saying no?  No.

Should I give them whatever they want just to keep them happy?  No.

What do you do? Tell them NO!

Repeat Mantra !

[Ian-And-Anne-Marie0]

@Jonie3 

Guests do expect everything and want to pay nothing. I can suggest that you maybe put your breakfast items out of reach after breakfast so that your guests can't help themselves.

[Jonie3]

We have found this to be very true as newer hosts... they expect everything and more and want to pay nothing for it. Thank you for your support 🙂

[Lawrene0]

Yes to @Ian-And-Anne-Marie0 's "no" advice, @Jonie3 . I'll just add that you can say no by telling them what they can do instead. For instance, "You ate your breakfast for dinner? Oh dear. Okay, well there is a breakfast place five minutes away that is wonderful."

Same with the laundry. Direct them to the nearest laundromat. 

It feels a little less like no. 🙂

[Jonie3]

That is good advice 🙂 I’ve done that with the laundry and still have gotten such attitude and anger back 😞 I’ve never had to deal with people that are so quick to anger and rudeness, especially ones that are guests in my home. 

[Lawrene0]

That's totally on them, @Jonie3 . When guests become angry that they cannot have what they were never offered, they need to lose a few stars themselves. 

I do think Las Vegas hosts, and hosts in other hot spots, have it harder than the rest of us who are not dealing with a "what happens in" attitude. I feel for you. 

Don't let that behaviour change your own. Maintain your boundaries with firmness and a sense of humour. You have the support of a ton of hosts who are doing the same. 

[Jonie3]

Thank you for your supportive words! I do suppose being in Vegas doesn’t help 😞 

[Kelly149]

@Jonie3 if you have the same problem repeating over and over then start thinking of what solution would work for you...

so, like @Lawrene0 says, don't just say "no", rather say "yes" in a way that works for you. Get across the message that they bought a certain product and if they'd like add-ons then that is EXTRA. It's funny how often guests realize they may not actually need the thing they're asking about once it has a cost. You can often cut these requests off before they ever happen IF you present some suggestions:

-We offer noon checkin for a $20 early arrival fee

-Laundry is available at xxx place at xxx address

-We can provide an evening snack pack of xyz for $15

.... whatever.... get creative and get firm, no one walks into a restaurant orders a sandwich and then expects the sides to come complimentary, hotel laundry has a fee, airlines charge for baggage and choosing your seat... this is how the world works.

Guests will sense if you can be pushed or if you have a plan. Good luck

[Jonie3]

Thank you, that is good advice 🙂 The only trick is to foresee all the things guests are going to ask for! I will put this into use and hope that it will prevent future issues! 

[Rowena29]

Hi @Jonie3 

I feel really new at hosting myself - been at it about 9 months.

My first  5 -6 lots of guests were pretty awful really looking back on it.

they were all so consistently "bleh" that I began to think it must be me.

I very well remember my sense of unease and  and being flabbergasted at some of the things people did or didnt do.  I very nearly gave up.

then all of a sudden, a massive improvement.

I still don't REALLY know why.

 A combination of things I think - my prices went up a bit for starters.  I have no idea what a reasonable price is for your area, but given what you're offering your price seems awfully cheap to me? 

I removed self check in as a feature - i think this was a big factor for me actually. I just seemed to have guest after guest who seemed to really resent having to meet me. What a HASSLE their body language seemed to be saying.  It began to dawn on me, if that was their attitude, I didn't really think they were a good fit for me or my home. they seemed to want all the bells and whistles, and get everything THEIR way. entitled. I still have a keypad and guests can still self check in, but I don't have it selected on my listing - so it doesn't "show" as a feature.

Instead I say in my listing I try to be there in person, but if I can't be . there is self check in for easy access. unilaterally since then I have really got on much better with all the guests - even the ones who HAVE self checked in.  But maybe that won't work for you and your listing.  And maybe that was just a foible specific to me and my area and country

You've been VERY  firm  in your house rules so guests aren't likely to think you're a push over.

The only other thing I'd say is I have now come to the genuine visceral  ( as opposed to just an intellectual) conclusion that I would happily ask a guest to leave if I thought they were pushing the boundaries. Like nearly everyone I'm sure, I'm a very considerate host, I go to a lot of trouble, I'm clear about what to expect, if a guest is not happy ,especially if it's about something I've already been very clear about- I'm VERY prepared to say "I can see you're not happy. How about I release you from this commitment and let you  go ahead and  find something that will meet your needs better? It's no trouble. Just a quick phone call to airbnb and you can find yourself something that suits you". this is MY home. Yes you've paid some money, but that doesn't make you in charge.  If someone got angry or rude to me, I'd definitely be doing this.   It is good to forsee and prevent, but you shouldn't have pre empt everything either. If people can't be reasonable, then they can go elsewhere ( like a hotel)

I'v never done this mind you, but I think just the fact that i'm absolutely prepared to comes across.

Took me quite a while to get there though!

Actually what sealed it for me was staying in a posh hotel that cost quite a lot of money and realizing they didn't work nearly as hard or put themselves out nearly as much as I do for my guests. I'm sure the same applies to you.

Good luck!

[Jonie3]

I really appreciate your insight! I really felt you know and have felt exactly what I’m going through! Thank you for your comments, i will try to raise my price to then hopefully attract a higher caliber of a guest. 

[Rowena29]

Hi @Jonie3 

Raising prices is not always the answer - there are some hosts who feel strongly you can get great guests for cheaper rates. but I have found the cheaper you are, the more unreasonable the guest, and so have many other hosts.

Just a heads up ( because airbnb do absolutely nothing to educate you about how to use these boards) you need to put an "@" symbol before someones name if you want to tag them into a conversation. ( as i've done for you) Then they'll get an alert and know that they've been included  in some conversation.

As the creator of the post, you'll get an alert for every message added to the thread.

It's not hard once you know, but hard it no one points it out!

Cheers