Challenging guest situation - any advice on how to prevent a repeat in future?

[John5329]

I've never posted here before but felt the need to. I rent my spare room out and have never really had any issues with guests, quite the contrary and I also have a high rating. However, yesterday evening a young guy (believe to be a student) arrived quite drunk and loud and swearing. Not aggressive, although I am fairly big guy and it would have been different for someone different I guess. Anyway, he repeatedly tried to engage me in conversations that didn't make much sense and jumped around a lot. At one point he broke down crying and went to his room, coming back apologizing. I found his behavior erratic and considered asking him to leave but thought I was making too much of it. For the first time in my own home I put a doorstop on my side of the bedroom just in case. This is not a nice feeling at all. When I went to bed, he went to his room and made a lot of noise and was talking and swearing. He claimed he called his girlfriend and so could not hear when I asked if he was ok outside his door. Anyhow, I eventually got to sleep.

Then next day, I went to work but had to come home at lunchtime. He came out from his room apologizing for his behaviour the night before, which I said I wanted to move on from on. As I was leaving I noticed a stain on the blinds of his room. It was clearly red wine and was also on the window-sill. It is what he had been drinking the night before. I should mention while I was home for lunch I could hear him laughing and talking to himself about some TV show or another, seemingly oblivious to the red wine stain that he did not know I had seen.

I decided to confront him about the stain and he said he would clean it up right away and claimed it was because he was tipsy the night before. I lost my patience a little without getting angry and said this was a nice place to stay and he should treat it like that. I said my patience was running out. He has subsequently clened it up but have not seen the handiwork as yet until I get home...

Anyway, he leaves tomorrow but is off on a 'big night out' tonight so I will have to use the doorstop again. I plainly asked him not to damage anything else and that I did not want to complain about him to Airbnb or give him a bad review and that he should learn from this experience to get the best out of Airbnb.

So why did I post here for the first time? Because I have hosted nearly 60 times I think and this has been the most unpleasant experience so far and I wanted to see if I was making too much of it or whether others had advice or thoughts. Thanks!

[Helen744]

john5329, a little more than red wine going on there I suspect. I suggest you ask if he was using any drugs and make it clear that his behaviour was erratic and frightening and ask him not to repeat . ... H

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@John5329 

This is not trivial at all. You should not be uncomfortable in your own home. Imho,  this guest is ill-suited to home share, and is much better suited to the privacy of a motel room. I hope this doesn't happen to you again, or put you off from hosting. If this was an IB, it was out of your control, of course. I'd be curious as to what he stated was the purpose of the trip/stay. This is an unfortunate situation. 

[Fred13]

Every host should keep one question in mind when encountering a suspicious booking - "Is this booking worth it?". If the gut feeling is no, then it is best to accept it and either spell out the only parameters you are willing to tolerate (in no uncertain terms) or they must go out the door. Only two choices, psychotherapy sessions is not one of them.

[Helen3]

Welcome to the community @John5329 .

I am a homeshare host and have been for six year and have had hundreds of guests. I have never had a guest turn up drunk, loud and swearing and if this happened I would be incredibly nervous.

Personally I would have had Airbnb cancel the booking because it would make me feel unsafe in my home and would have had him leave.

I understand as a shorter stay you may not feel it was worth it, but for me I would be so worried about the state he would come home in tonight I wouldn't risk it.

His erratic behaviour sounds like more than alcohol, perhaps mental health issues or something stronger than alcohol.

Fingers crossed you don't encounter the same situation tonight.

Please leave an honest review to warn future hosts considering this guest. 

[Rick4645]

No @John5329 you were not making a big deal. This drunk and disorderly behavior is unacceptable.  Hotels don't put up with it; neither should AirBNB hosts.

Me personally, I would have given the guy the boot within 5 minutes of arrival.  

Your review should absolutely reflect his abhorrent behavior, his disrespect of your home (red wine and loud commotion at all hours), and put it in the review "Guest is not welcome again." 1* across the board and [X] Would Not Host Again.

[Jenny]

Hi @John5329 

I just wanted to check in with you and see how things were last night - it'd be great to know that you're ok - and if you need any help do just let us know.  If you press @then type Jenny you can tag me in your reply.

Thanks to @Rick4645, @Helen3, @Fred13, @Kitty-and-Creek0 and @Helen744 for the great advice and support you've given.

Hope to hear from you soon @John5329 - do let us know if you need help with anything.

Jenny

[Fred13]

@John5329  Remember hosting is a business, with no guarantees. Considering that at least 10% of the human race is probably certifiable but there is not enough room in the existing asylums to house them all; so at 1/60 you are doing quite well indeed.

P.S. You got me beat, I am at 3 head cases out of 75 bookings this last year, very sloppy performance. This year I am again personally manning the defences protecting my island shores.

[John5329]

@Jenny  and others, thanks for all the replies. It is very useful in processing such things and genuinely made me feel better. and part of a suportive community. I think for one's own health it is excellent to be able to share and reflect in this way in a support forum.

As it turned out the guy left quite dramatically and abusively seemingly timed for when I came home yesterday evening. I asked if he was alright and he hurridly slammed the door and disappeared. I decided to lock up and stay put even though I wanted to understand better what was happening.

I didn't really recognize my flat which is normally clean and tidy. He had been in the fridge and picked at various things. More annoyingly the room was left damaged: a broken desk beyond repair, carpet and wall stains (greasy food and red wine) and a small hole in the wall which should be simple to repair. A few minor items missing: a plant (?!) a sheet, cleaning items (about 3 toilet rolls, for instance). Shortly afterwards he was abusive via messaging but also oddly insisting he apologised and would give me 5*. I have reported the messages as some were personally aimed at me and rude. I have begun the claim for aircover which predictably he will not engage with but I'm sure will cover the damage.

I also emailed his University with a short summary highlighting that this person will need some appropriate pastoral care as well as practical safeguarding for himself and others.

After this, I will up my minimum stay to 3 nights for small gaps in my calendar and raise my minimum price slightly so I am not in the lowest bracket (he paid £25/night). I will be more scrupulous in accepting zero-review guests - does anyone have any advice on this plus any helpful advice here. 

[Jenny]

Thanks for coming back to update us @John5329 - it's good to know that you're ok - though I'm sorry to hear that you've ended up with damages and missing items.  

I'll update the title of your thread to encourage some more discussion around your experience and your learnings.

Jenny

[Huma0]

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@John5329 wrote:

After this, I will up my minimum stay to 3 nights for small gaps in my calendar and raise my minimum price slightly so I am not in the lowest bracket (he paid £25/night). I will be more scrupulous in accepting zero-review guests - does anyone have any advice on this plus any helpful advice here. 

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@John5329 Good plan. I would also, if I was you, avoid last minute bookings. I know it's tricky when you are trying to fill gaps in the calendar, but I have often found (and read about) last minute bookings being more problematic. 

Try to vet your guests as well as you can, especially as they are sharing your home. I don't use instant booking and most of the filters have now been taken away, but you can still apply the 'good track record' one (not sure yet what that really means, but it's better than nothing) and have a pre-booking message with some questions. 

Even if you don't use IB, you can require a profile photo in your booking settings and I ask guests to make sure they verify their ID. it's good to have some conversation with the guest as soon as possible. E.g. ask them to tell you a bit about themselves and the purpose of their trip, why they chose your listing etc. You can tell a lot from the way the guest communicates (or doesn't).

Ask them to confirm they have read and agree to your full house rules. Make sure your house rules are crystal clear on stuff like smoking, cleanliness, noise/quiet hours. When a guest has reviews, I also make a point to check the reviews they have left for previous hosts, as this can sometimes bring up red flags. I don't do this personally, but some hosts even check out the guest's social media profiles.

Good luck and I hope you never have another experience like this one.