Current guest making herself at home

[Querida1]

Hi there, I would be really grateful for your general opinion please 🙂 I'm a superhost.. and for about 7 years now I've been having Airbnb guests stay in the spare room I have. I'm in a small London flat, with the Airbnb guest having the bigger of the two bedrooms, then there's the kitchen and bathroom they can use (of course :)) but I don't make it too obvious that the living room is also for their use.  I don't normally have any issues.. but this current guest is acting as if she's a regular housemate and lying on the sofa watching TV when I get home from work, which makes me uncomfortable as I normally work from the table in the living room (plus I'm tired and I also want to chill!). . Are other Airbnb hosts more relaxed than me on this matter?(as in.. do you let them chill in the living room and be more of a housemate?).

Also.... to add.. she texted me when she first arrived (I was out) to ask if it would be ok if her boyfriend came over to hang out and stay over on occasion (she's here for 2 weeks). I gently said no, as this is Airbnb and this is my home. She was cool about it. Tonight she just let him in (she did text me earlier to say a friend would be coming over to deliver her some soup as she's not well) and they've been hanging out in her room for hours. Then they started cooking in the kitchen together, at which point I went to them and said I'd be grateful if by 10pm he could leave. He was cool about it, but I heard her complain when she probably thought I couldn't hear (although my flat is tiny!).

Thanks guys if you can give me a sense check. Am I being too matronly here???

[Kath9]

@Querida1, I'm surprised this is the first issue like this you've had in 7 years! First, there is no right and wrong here (i.e. chill or not chill). It is up you to set your boundaries according to what works for you as a host and doesnt make you feel uncomfortable. Your situation is similar to mine - bedroom in a house with shared everything. However, I made the stove/oven and lounge out of bounds a long time ago, the former because of the excessive volume of cooking that was being done every night to the point that I was basically driven out of my own kitchen, and the latter because the lounge is the one room in my house that i don't share with guests (apart from my bedroom of course) and I couldn't stand my guests being in there watching tv! Like you, my office is in my lounge and I often work late, so I don't want people in there watching commercial tv at volume 50 (which they do, especially the older ones).

In this situation, because you haven't pre- established the boundary, you'll just need to grin and bear it until the end of the booking. However, I would update your listing right now to say that the lounge is not available to guests. 

Regarding the boyfriend, she went against your explicit request for her not to have him over. Unfortunately, you may get a negative review because of this (it's always the entitled ones). But again, you may need to add something to your listing (e.g. no unauthorised guests).

@Querida1  this is your home - you set your boundaries how you want and don't worry about whether you are being too 'matronly' or 'unchilled'. You dont have to be cool to be a good host, just firm but fair. I've had to learn this lesson too 🙂 

[Querida1]

Hey Kath  thank you so much for your really helpful take on this and such clear advice. 

I really appreciate you having taken the time to answer. Sound advice I'll be following. 

All the very best, Querida 

[Colleen253]

@Querida1 To add to @Kath9 ’s great advice...you made a mistake when, after first telling your guest NO to the boyfriend, when she let him stay anyway you responded “I'd be grateful if by 10pm he could leave.” You need to back up what you told her in the first place or she’ll continue to walk all over you. Keep in mind Airbnb policies and those of your insurance provider etc. Is an unregistered guest going to cause problems for you if anything goes wrong?? You can always use that reason to back up your assertions on that point, anyway. 😉

[Ute42]

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@Colleen253 

It is always important to know how to say NO.

[Colleen253]

Ah, yes @Ute42 , Hahaha.

NO!

[Helen3]

Hello @Querida1 

I offer a room in my home and used to have a similar set up to you in my flat so sympathise. (one of the reasons my new place has a private living room for me as well as a communal dining room/lounge)

We need to trade off the income we make against the lack of privacy in the homes we share.

Having said that you clearly show in your photos that your living room is available. If you don't want to offer use of this to guests/need use of it to work from home in the evenings, then I would remove the photos. You could put a TV in the guest room.

In the meantime in terms of this guest I would  have a chat and say although you understand she wants to see her BF you did make it clear this wouldn't work for you in a shared home situation and there are opportunities for her to see him outside of the home or at her partners place. 

Follow up on Airbnb expressing your upset about her letting her boyfriend visit and cook in your home when you had advised her this wouldn't be possible. (no reason she can't go to him) . Make sure you leave an honest review and mark her down for breaking your house rules around no visitors.

In terms of your kitchen I normally talk to guests about agreeing times for its use in the evening

[Sarah977]

@Querida1  I also home -share, guests have their own private bathroom and full use of the kitchen, as well as outside areas. I know a lot of home hosts stopped allowing kitchen use because guests "took over" or didn't clean up after themselves, but that hasn't been my own experience, and as I dislike cooking, I'm actually happy when I get guests who love to cook, make great food and invite me to share 🙂

But I have never offered my living room as part of the deal, nor is it shown in my photos. When I've had guests I really like and get on with, I've often told them to feel free to sit on the couch there and watch one of the many movies I have in my DVD collection, but I'd like to wait to see what the guest is like, rather than have it on offer for everyone.

[Christine1081]

So many things to cover. Yes they should be allowed to use common spaces in a home freely. I generally give my guests the option to enjoy and I step back if they want the space. In regards to the guest the way your listing is set dictates whether two people are allowed in that room I had a single guest who met someone during a long-term stay and he stayed numerous times. It got annoying so I called Airbnb about it. Because the room allowed 2 on the booking support said it would be "nice" if I accomodated. So I did. All went well. 

[Rowena29]

@Querida1 you've been offered lots of great advice.   It can be hard to say no to people though.  What I do,  is lay the answer at the door of the platform or my insurances rules and regulations  If a guest asks if another guest come"just visit" I'll say - t unfortunately that would violate my insurance policy - then neither you nor I, nor your guest  would be covered. I just can't risk it. They are very strict about these things.    Same strategy with getting an uninvited guest to leave. So it's never YOU saying no or being difficult  - its the restrictions of the platform or your insurance.  It makes you sound so reasonable and sensible - which in fact you are.

[Querida1]

THANK YOU so much guys!!!! I wish I had contacted this forum before  🙂

Everyone has been so friendly and helpful. 

I have taken the steps advised by you all and I feel much better about this situation. 

Have a great day all  and many thanks again  X 

[Sarah977]

@Querida1  If you do decide to remove the living room from the common spaces that guests can access, make sure to also remove "TV" from the amenities, if the only TV is in the living room. Or you might want to get a TV for the guest room if most of your guests seem to watch TV.