Entitled Guests Who Make Me So Angry

[Lorna170]

Once again I have a guest who is ** demanding, entitled, uncaring and flagrantly disregarding all decent guest behavior and rules.

What is it with these guests?  I have no understanding of these behaviors.  I am a licensed property, maximum of 4 guests, room for 2 cars to park.  My current guest has 6 cars in the drive, multiple pets roaming about, and at least 8 people at the property.  WTF?  

When I initially vetted this young woman, 3 months ago, there were to be two guests and one pet, and she had very good reviews.  A week before arrival there was a request for 2 more guests and another pet.  The communication seemed very up front and pleasant.  What a LIAR this guest turned out to be.  I wont burden you with the number of idiotic requests she has made -- they are unbelievable.  My husband says let it be, she and her friends will be gone in the morning.  She will be getting a very poor review from me, and I will happily say that she should not be allowed to rent on AirBnB again.

**[Comment removed in line with the Airbnb Nondiscrimination Policy]

Title edited for readability - Stephanie

[Sarah977]

@Lorna170  I don't get it either. I have 3 daughters, aged 48, 43 and 38. They were all raised the same way, all by me, but the 38 year old has a sense of entitlement the others do not have at all. 

She wouldn't be as disrespectful as your guest, no way, and she has always seemed incapable of telling lies or exaggerating, even when she was young.

But there are definitely attitudes that go along with thinking that her feelings or ideas about things could never be wrong, (okay, everyone's feelings are valid, but shouldn't be given quite so much weight as she gives them, IMO)  and that they are hugely important. 

She was staying with me for a few weeks and a friend of hers was coming to town, so she asked if her friend could stay, too. I said sure, although I already had a friend of mine staying in the guest room, and my daughter on the couch.

Her friend, who is basically a very nice girl, stayed for 2 days and 2 nights, I hauled out the extra foamie, made it up with clean bedding, gave her some towels. She had her devices plugged into my electric, was offered breakfast and dinner, took hot showers. She went into town twice, yet it never once occured to her to pick up a bottle of wine, some bakery goodies, a six pack of beer- something to share with the other 3 people she was staying with, to show some appreciation. She did thank me for having her, but that's all I would expect from an 8-16 year old, not a 38 year old.

When I talked to my daughter afterwards about how I felt about her friend not bringing anything to the table, so to speak,  she got really defensive, saying that I shouldn't agree to have anyone stay if I expected anything in return.

And when she came to town last year with her partner and new baby, although she hadn't bothered to call the property manager at the place they had rented 5 or 10 minutes before we arrived, to give him a heads-up, she got extremely irritated when we arrived, she called him, and he didn't show up within 5 minutes. She called him again, in an irritated tone, to say they really needed to get in. 

I kept my mouth shut, as I didn't want to get into it with her, but her boyfriend, who is a few years older than her, said quietly, "You know, X, you can't control everything".

[Eileen208]

I too raised all three of my children the same. But nowadays, this generation feel entitled and are lazy, they would never think to bring a small gesture to someone’s house that they were staying at or just visiting. My children are adults now and I still ask them if they bought something with them. It’s an old habit but it’s the right habit.

[Marie6762]

@Sarah977 

I live in a rapidly gentrifying urban neighborhood, populated, in the main, by “hipsters” & upwardly mobile young families (mid-twenties to mid-thirties) - some renters, some own their homes.  It’s a wonderful neighborhood.  I know because I made it that way.  This isn’t hubris, but related to entitlement and unintentionally rude behavior.

1.  I loan house & garden tools, baking & canning equipment-  I have to go retrieve it, or it might never come back

2.  I host block parties and get sign-ups for subsequent hosts or helps- who then wash out, but happily turn up when I host the next party.

3.  I feed & walk critters and water plants.  “Thank you so much!”  No note, no nada

4.  I collect trash as I walk my dog, almost daily.  Neighbors drive by, some even pass me (no “good morning!” if I don’t greet first.  And no acknowledgement of the trash-free sidewalks or my bulging trash bag.  The they walk right by trash that magically disappears behind them. 

5.  Neighbor lost her 3 year-old.  I found him hauling down the block and swooped him up...”Thanks so much!”  Flowers?  Card? 🤣

6.  Neighbor pounds on our door to get my partner to help when her boyfriend has a severe panic attack...  we didn’t hear back from them until Mark met him on the sidewalk.  “Oh, yeah - thanks, I’m fine!”

7.  I’ve planted & maintain street/curb gardens on the block.  Same response as trash collecting

Its a wonderful, safe, friendly block and these folks will all tell you so!  

Ranting aside, I have and will do what I do, regardless.  My 31-year-old son is an appreciative, community builder, often with the same results!  We cheer each other on.

Oh, and I get enough stars from AirBnb guests☺️

[Sarah977]

@Marie6762  🙂 I enjoyed reading that, although it's pretty sad.

A young woman I know, who was on her own from the age of about 14 (bad family scene, but she didn't end up on the streets- quite the opposite- she moved to a tiny island on the west coast of B.C., Canada, where she kayaked, lived in a little cabin and had a healthy lifestyle), told me once, "I'd rather have rednecks for neighbors than hippies. You have to move, and your hippy friends all say they'll come and help, then decide to go spend the day at the river smoking doobies and show up at 4 PM, and say 'Oh, it's all packed up and moved already?' 

The rednecks are at your place at 7am with their pick-up trucks, coffee in hand, saying, "Okay, let's get this show on the road" and before you know it, they've humped all your boxes and furniture out and are halfway to your new place, while the hippies are still rounding up their kids to go to the river."

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

I thought about instaling security cameras at my Airbnb but I then I thought - it's better if I don't know what my guests are doing 🙂

[Helen3]

A little confused as to why you didn't contact the guest who booked when you knew they had double the maximum staying and far too many cars and tell them the additional guests s/cars had to go @Lorna170 

[Lorna170]

I wanted to, but without hubby backing me up will not approach this group.  The guest did not respond to my message via the app, so she obviously knows what she is doing.  

[Lisa723]

@Lorna170 @Helen3 @Sarah977 

In quick succession we have complaints and generalizations about millennials and boomers. Maybe jerks and great people occur in all generations.

[Sarah977]

@Lisa723  They definitely do. Jerkdom is non-age-ist. So is being a wonderful, respectful person.

I honestly don't take exception to some generalizations, as long as it's understood that while many of a certain generation tend to be similar in some regards, it by no means applies to all. 

Those over 60 or 70 tend not to be as tech savvy as young people, but plenty are. Like my 90 year old stepmom who wields her smart phone like a teenager, booking trips and hotels, making zoom and facetime and skype calls, facebooking with friends and family.

Millennials tend  to be tech savvy, prefer to communicate by text or whatsapp, don't answer their phones, or use email. But not all.

IMO, acknowledging tendencies of a certain generation, while knowing that certainly lots won't be like that at all, can make me more understanding, rather than less.

Like it used to drive me crazy how millennials tend to send one line text messages, 6 in a row, instead of just saying it all in one message. I thought of it as disorganized and unmindful of the recipient's time and attention.

So I asked a younger guest of mine, who had been doing that, to explain it to me. She thought for a moment, then said that her generation considers texting to be a form of speaking, not writing. So they have a thought or a question, send it, then have another one and send it. I found that enlightening -it never would have occurred to me. And now it doesn't bother me nearly as much. I just know now not to run to my phone when I get a text from a millennial and start to answer it, because I realize it will probably be followed by 6 more texts within 2 minutes, and I can read them all at once and answer once 🙂

[Eileen208]

I did not notice either about the millennials sending multiple text messages. It is very enlightening

[Helen3]

I didn't make a generalisations about millennials or baby boomers @Lisa723 

[Lisa723]

Sorry, didn’t intend to tag you @Helen3 

[Suzanne302]

@Lorna170  "Entitled Guests Who Make Me So Angry." There, fixed it for you. I'm sure you didn't mean to be ageist.

[Lorna170]

  No.  You didn't.  Now it looks like I am cursing, which I am, but not in a public forum.

@Stephanie