Red Flag Questions

[Laura2592]

There are a lot of hosts who post about difficult situations here. I am always struck that there seem to have been indications in many cases that the guest may not have been a match, but the host missed or overlooked the red flag. I thought it might be helpful to list questions you get that make your "spidey sense" tingle.  Now not all of these mean you are about to have a bad experience, but perhaps this will help you weed out those who aren't the perfect fit for your space.

"How many people can stay here?" Red flag because that is listed in the reservation. They didn't read, or they are having a party. And if they didn't read, they didn't read your rules 🙂 Most hosts have pretty clear occupancy limits. Many guests like to stretch those.

"Do you allow pets?" Also, that is clearly listed. If you don't, you don't.

"Will you make an exception for my non-shedding very sweet and well trained dog?" Again, if you don't allow pets that is stated. The guilt trip questions about the sweetest, best behaved dog in the world don't bode well. 

"Will you make an exception for ...."(fill in the blank.) Normally if the interaction starts this way, there is a long list of exceptions you will be asked to make and you will be frustrated by the end of the stay. This type of guest is better served with a reservation that fits what they are actually looking for, rather than one which they want to modify to their ideal standards. 

"Do you offer discounts?" Bargain hunters are never a good sign. These guests will most often be those who try to get a free stay with a spurious complaint.

"Are you on-site?" Again, that is clearly stated in all listings (or should be. If its not in yours, make sure you are updating.) This is often code for "I would like to break rules and not get caught/maybe have a party."

"Can I have guests over during my stay? They aren't going to be there overnight." All hosts need to decide what level of access they want to give to strangers who are not paying to be at their property. Consider this one carefully. 

"Can you have (specialized item) available for me during my stay /can this be purchased?" If it's something basic that many people might want (like an iron) or you were planning on getting one anyway, maybe consider it. It does start the stay off a bit oddly as the guest can clearly see what your amenities are. But I once had a guest whose life was about to end if she didn't get a specific kind of garlic press. Those kinds of high maintenance "must haves" really cross the line between guest stay and "this is my house and it needs to be stocked with my favorites...like Beyonce's contract rider for what she needs in her dressing room." I have seen hosts post on here that they purchased furniture to a guest's liking. Just say no. What you have on offer is stated.

"Do you have a pool?" Uh, if we did, you would see it listed. Again super obvious they have not read the listing in any way, shape or form.

"Can I check out late?" We actually don't care about this one as we don't do back-to-back reservations. But if you do, this is another guest boundary pusher. Your space may not be a fit. 

What do you have to add, fellow hosts?

[Christine615]

@Colleen253@Sarah977 

I'm a great host but it is CLEAR I can not read thoroughly (don't tell my book editor) - lol!

My apologies. You both are so right! It's clear that 99% of our time is spent on the 1-2% of the guest that are red flags.

Stay safe my friends!  ❤️

[Sarah977]

@Christine615  I've totally misread things before myself. It happens.

[Valerie-Et-Loic0]

Hi all

we are only guests and reading this forum is very interesting to understand better how to be good guests or avoid complicated situations 

being a guest, before booking, I always send questions, sometimes to make sure I clearly understand... you know sometimes translations are no cristal clear...

This question « are you on site » I do ask many times, because it is a real plus. We do like when renting a place when we have a contact on site , even we like more when the host lives on site. Much easier in case of any entry or anything that might happen.

and always asking questions also before booking to get a sense of how communication will be, fast, clear...

well this is guest point of view

sorry if my English not so good, we are french !

[Colleen253]

@Valerie-Et-Loic0 Fair enough and good points! I think, especially with a year of the Pandemic bringing out lower equality guests and stressful experiences, many hosts are weary and on guard. 

By all means, your questions are valid and you can ask them. I think it makes a difference if you frame them. For instance “we appreciate having a host onsite, for such and such reason,  so I just want to confirm that you are indeed going to be there”. But know that many hosts will consider that a bit of a red flag, if they prefer guests to be independent (not inferring that you wouldn’t be independent..just making a general point), which many will. Every listing and host and guest is unique, with unique preferences and needs. Communication helps, you are right. Starting with thoroughly reading a listing and clicking all info links is still the #1 thing you as a guest can do. And for hosts, making sure we have included all the info want to convey.  😀

[Laura2592]

@Valerie-Et-Loic0  and @Colleen253  exactly.  If I had a guest who wanted me to be on site for the stay, that would not be possible. I can stop by, but I would not be physically there with the guest and my listing says that. If I were to get this question with an instant book message or booking inquiry/request, it would be a red flag that the guest had not read and understood my listing. I would be uncomfortable that I might not be able to deliver what the guest wanted. 

Often questions point out a gap between what the host can reasonably offer and what the guest expects. The guest may be a perfect fit for a different accommodation but unhappy in yours because what they want is not what you can provide. That is why its really important for guests to read the listings in full. 

[Pat271]

“I am also a Superhost”. 🚩

It will be hard for other hosts not to compare themselves to you. Hopefully the comparison will be favorable, but every once in a while “The way *I* do it is...” or similar will creep into the behavior and conversation.

I hesitate to really call other hosts a “red flag”, though, because I have had many hosts who are just wonderful.  But because of the few persnickety ones, whenever I see that “Also a Host” cross my screen, it gives me pause, although I do accept their booking. “I’m sorry, I don’t host hosts” would sound a bit whacked. 🙄

[Laura2592]

@Pat271 my husband has been declined because he is a co-host. Flat out told "we don't host other hosts." So it does happen.

[Deb216]

@Laura2592 and @Pat271:  I'd be happy to host a fellow Host and Co-Host!  If you're ever thinking of a Cape Cod Getaway, please let me know!  I'd be flattered and would welcome you!

Best, Deb of Cape Cod Cottage-Sandwich

[Don-And-Emily0]

We’ve had another host insta-book our home with a child for a holiday weekend.

Our listing clearly says “no children under 12”.  If we denied him those days would have been blocked, so we had AirBnB intervene. 

[Julian-and-Annie0]

Yes totally agree. Previously in my naivety, I thought great its another host they will understand the difficulties and not cause me more stress!!!!

One recently turned up an hour early to pick up the key when really she was checking in but doing it when it suited her!!

She also originally asked how many stairs there were as she wanted her elderly dad to accompany her. I don't know how many stairs /steps I have - I simply have never counted them LOL!!!

She went ahead and booked but it was her boyfriend not her dad with her. I was to say the least puzzled and had to ask who it was!! I like to know who is coming and going as it is my house and I live in!!

She then complained in an indirect way the the boyfriend had complained about our no shower after a certain time rule showing me she had simply not read anything basically I has put in the listing and this is from a seasoned Super host!!

Am bracing myself now for her review which she did instantly!! and she wasn't at all backwards in coming forwards with any or her opinions!!

Am now super wary of anyone !! LOL I started off 5 years ago being so stupidly generous and open but this 'job' is sapping all then from me!!

I have had recent guests complain how hard the pillows were!! can u believe that. Out of hundreds of guests we have never had a complaint. If someone has neck issues I can understand and sympathise but please bring your own customised pillows in that case!! lol

[Sarah977]

@Valerie-Et-Loic0  Your English is perfectly clear 🙂 And I always like it when guests weigh in with their point of view.

The questions most hosts are referring to here are when guests ask questions that are clearly answered if the guest has bothered to read the information the host provided in the ad. 

If a guest asks "Is there a microwave?" when microwave is one of the things listed in the Amenities, the host sees that the guest was too lazy to read before asking. So they probably didn't bother to read the house rules, either, or that it's a shared home listing, not an entire place they will have to themselves.

I appreciate guests who ask questions if anything I've written in my ad is unclear to them, or because they have a concern about something- it's much better than the guest arriving and being unhappy or confused. 

For instance, because I live in the countryside, a 20 minute walk from town, and only host 1 guest at a time, I'll get some single women ask if the walk is safe. That to me is a legitimate concern. Or guests asking if I think it would be worthwhile for them to rent a car- they have specific places in the area they'd like to visit and need to know if public transport is available.

There is also a way to ask questions that is annoying, or a way that is fine. If a guest's initial message is something like "Hi, XX. We love the look of your listing and are impressed with your good reviews. My wife and I are coming to the area to attend our son's graduation. As exact addresses aren't provided until after a booking is confirmed, could you give us an idea of how long a drive it is, more or less, to the university? Thank you in advance.", no red flags are going to go up for the host.

If the initial message is just "How far is it to the university?", that is a guest who doesn't take the time to be polite or friendly or offer any information about themselves or indicate that they have done anything more than read what town the listing is in. It's abrupt and only lays out the guest's needs. 

It's nice to hear that you like to book places where the host is on-site. But as you can see from the topic post here, if a guest simply asks that question, without indicating why they are asking, that they prefer to book with on-site hosts, the host may well assume the guest is trying to determine whether they can get away wirh bad behavior because no one is around keeping an eye on the place.

[Pat271]

@Sarah977  I like your distinction of the two types of guest tones. I’m curious how you deal with guests with the second tone. Do you ask them to continue their search, or do you make an attempt to glean some more info in order to decide whether or not to host them? I often struggle with that choice, usually opting to try to solicit more info.

[Sarah977]

@Pat271  I always reply something like this: "Hi XX, thank you for your request. I just want to make sure you read through the listing description and are aware I have a dog and a cat on the premises (in case you have alkergies, although they don't go in the guest room) and that it's a 20 minute walk to town and the beach from my place."

I use those two things in my case, since they are the most likely to cause a guest to change their mind if they didn't bother to read. And those things aren't stated in the beginning of my description, they would have to have read deeper.

Most will answer something like "Yes, no problem. I read everything. I love dogs and like to walk." And they'll usually add something a bit more personable, as well, or ask a legitimate question.

I don't ask guests questions like what brings them to the area, because this is a destination touristy beach town- they are all coming on vacation, so that would be a silly question. 

I find that it's the younger guests  who send those abrupt initial messages. They have grown up in the age of texting and are used to quicky brief messages. They don't have the concept that it seems a bit rude.

BTW, they've all turned out to be good guests.

I've not gotten any of those abrupt messages where they are asking to make an exception to your house rules, asking for a discount, or some other red flag. The ones I get are more along the lines of "Arriving around noon" or "Looking forward to coming". Like they just don't realize that hosts appreciate a little more info.

[Suzanne302]

I have asked a host with a "no pets" property if I could bring my dog, so I wouldn't say that's always a red flag. I think with any of these questions it's also the way that the guest words things. If they sound entitled, huge red flag. But if they're just "asking politely with no expectation" I think that's okay. In my old listing I did not allow use of the kitchen, but I was asked very politely by a guest prior to arrival if that would be possible because she needed to cook a dish to take to a family gathering. She was a great guest and left the kitchen spotless.

In my case as a guest, I used language along the lines of, "I know your listing says you don't allow pets but I was wondering if you'd consider me and my well-behaved dog for one night as we just need a place to sleep before we move into our new home. I'm happy to pay an extra fee and I completely, 100%  understand if you're not open to the idea but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask as we're having a hard time finding a pet-friendly place." The host said yes and we were great guests!

[Sarah977]

@Suzanne302  Although my listing clearly states that it is for solo guests, I had a guest ask if it would be possible for her friend to stay as well, they could bring an air mattress. 

As that is physically impossible (the room is only large enough for a single bed and the only place you could cram an air mattress in would mean you'd have to step on it to get to the bathroom), I just replied that I only host one guest at a time because more than that simply wouldn't fit, and that she should look for a listing that would work for her.

She messaged back right away, saying, no no, she still wanted to book, she'd tell her friend to look for her own accommodation. She turned out to be a really interesting guest- a Japanese woman who has lived in Mexico for years, feeds all the stray cats in Cancun, teaches Japanese to Mexican businessmen and arranges international  exchange visits between Mexican and Japanese music students. 

She brought food and made a lovely Japanese meal to share with me.

When she saw the size of my guest space, she said of course it's obvious that wouldn't be big enough for two. 

Her friend arrived in town several days after my guest did, so they had actually booked another place to move to and share. I kept in touch with that guest and she said she should have just stayed at my place and let her friend find a place of her own, because she turned out to be a big pain to roommate with, as she was a constant complainer princess.🙂 Pretty much the only reason they were friends is that they are both Japanese and live in Cancun.

If I were to ask a host about staying with my dog, the only thing I'd write differently than you did, is not saying the dog is well-behaved, because both you and I know that no dog owner is going to characterize their dog as badly behaved.

I would probably be more specific- my dog is 13 years old, calm, female (won't be lifting her leg to pee on anything), is accustomed to living outside, never gets up on furniture, and doesn't bite, but is quite protective of me as far as barking at strangers.